Hamlet Interview Analysis

Swensen: Thank you Prince Hamlet of Denmark and Prince Fortinbras of Norway for attending this interview. The public is anxious about the matters regarding both your royal status, political aspirations, and the death of each of your fathers. (Pause)… Young Hamlet, the entire country of Denmark shares your grief at the passing of your father, how are you coping with such a loss?
Hamlet: First of all, thank you Kristen for having me here tonight, it is such an honor. I have loved and admired my father for all my life and to know that his presence is gone breaks my heart. However, I do not believe my father’s death was by accident and “I doubt some foul play” (1.2.278).
Swensen: That is rather a bold statement to make regarding the murder of your father. Prince Hamlet,
what proof do you have that your father was killed in cold blood?
Hamlet: This may sound abnormal, but an apparition of my father appeared and told me, “The serpent that did sting thy father’s life/now wears his crown” (1.5.46-47). I am now certain that the perpetrator of this murder case is no one other than King Claudius himself.
Swensen: That is good to hear Hamlet, however, we must move on. Prince Fortinbras, how are you coping with your father’s death?
Fortinbras: Denmark is responsible for the death of my father. As the new military leader of the great nation of Norway, I show no emotions except anger and hatred.
Swensen: Sorry to hear that Fortinbras, I am sure your country grieves with you. Hamlet, with the death of your father, why have you not inherited the throne?
Hamlet: I hate Claudius, he is but, “O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!” (1.5.113). The great king of Denmark is but a traitor who used the death of my father to take hold of the throne. My royal status is essentially irrelevant and that beast claims to be my father.
Swensen: That is fantastic Hamlet, we sure hope to hear more about your situation with King Claudius. Young Fortinbras, how are you faring with your royalty?
Fortinbras: I am currently building an army and everything is going fairly well for me right now.
Swensen: I am sure you will do well Fortinbras, which leads us to our next topic. What are each of your political aspirations?
Hamlet: To be honest, I honestly have no political ideologies. I just wanted to become king so I can be married to my mother. However, King Claudius is nothing but a “Hyperion to a satyr” (1.2.144). In all, I thought being king just meant looking like one, I did not know that you had to actually establish relevant policies.
Swensen: It seems that Hamlet would have been a great king if he actually inherited the throne. Fortinbras, what do you envision for the political state of Norway?
Fortinbras: The entire country of Denmark shall burn.
I will invade the lands that King Claudius holds and shall avenge the death of my father. There is nothing that would bring me more joy than to watch Denmark fall at my hand.
Swensen: That is very interesting Fortinbras, we wish you well on your future endeavors. Now, our last question for the night is about the election going on in America right now. How do you both feel about each candidate?
Hamlet: In my opinion, Donald Trump is racist and Hillary’s emails do not sound pleasant, so I think I would vote for Gary Johnson.
Swensen: How is Trump a racist Prince Hamlet?
Hamlet: It is quite simple; Donald Trump wants to deport all Mexicans.
Swensen: But Hamlet, what did Trump specifically say that is deemed racist?
Hamlet: Obviously one can infer that since Donald wants to build a wall, it automatically makes him a racist towards Mexicans.
Swensen: Thanks for the input Hamlet. Fortinbras, how do you feel about the election in America?
Fortinbras: Hillary Clinton should rot and prison and Donald J. Trump shall bring law and order to his country as I will to Norway.
Swensen: Alright folks, that is all we have for tonight. Thank you Hamlet and
Fortinbras