Tina Y. Lucas
Comp 200 Interpersonal Communication
Instructor Brian Davis
August 12, 2013
Hitch: What Happens When Interpersonal Relationships Are Started Under False Pretense
Sarah and Hitch are in the early stages of a possible romantic relationship when Sarah discovers that she really does not know Hitch at all. She is given false information about Hitch and because she does not have enough self-disclosure from Hitch believes the rumor. This is something that can easily happen when relationships are started under false pretenses.
Sarah is given false information about Hitch. Sarah goes to Hitch’s apartment for dinner and instead of her directly
approaching him she does it in a roundabout way by trying to get him to confess that he is the love doctor. She tries to repress her feelings which does not go over so well, her non-verbal actions showed her true feelings of what she was not saying by snarling at him, being sarcastic and aggressive. Sarah was using passive-aggressive communication style which is described as a blend of both passive and aggressive communication styles in which no aggression is visible on the surface; the communicator expresses anger, resentment, or negative feelings indirectly or attempts to sabotage situations. (Sole, 2011)
Hitch not knowing when Sarah arrives at his apartment that she knows he is the date doctor; tries to figure out and understand her sudden change in behavior. He is moving forward with the meal preparation when Sarah starts throwing food at him which turns into a food fight the dinner salad being tossed in Sarah’s face and her storming out.
The communication was not handled effectively because Sarah stereotyped the love doctor, Hitch, and turned what he does for a living into something negative without knowing the details of what or how he does what he does. Sarah storms out without giving him the opportunity to explain to her how the love doctor works. Now that Sarah knows that Hitch is the love doctor she feels like she has been worked over, handled and manipulated.
The interpersonal communication started off wrong. Hitch did handle her but for the right reason but because he did not disclose his profession it appeared that she was right and that he had manipulated the relationship.
The attraction was there for them both to be who they really are. The two of them had established a good rapport for them to be honest. Interpersonal communication in a romantic relationship requires honesty, some self-disclosure and compatibility. Sarah could have expressed her feelings more constructively about the love doctor. When Hitch realized what was wrong with Sarah he could have used the “I” approach and took responsibility for not disclosing who he really was and what he did for a living. Both of them have to work on their emotional intelligence for effective communication. They could have been more aware of their emotions and how to handle them. (Sole, 2011)
Conflict is natural and bound to happen in any relationship, the key is to resolve it quickly in a healthy manner. By paying attention and modifying their behavior and using the skills of emotional intelligence they could have prevented or diminished the conflict. Romantic relationships are often the most intimate relationships we have in our life and through exposing our true self through interpersonal communication and risking rejection or loss can we hope to establish the intimate relationships that most people long to have in their lives. This cannot happen when interpersonal relationships are started under false pretenses. (Sole, 2011)
References
Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.