Homeless Satire

Ryan Visor
Brown
Comp 1
April 22, 2013
Homeless satire
There are hundreds of homeless people out on the streets of the large cities in this great nation. With low unemployment rate and new jobs being created every day, people are starting to ask why there are still homeless people in the alleys and on the sidewalks of this country. This seems to be a haunting problem even though it would be so incredibly easy for homeless people to get a job. The general requirements for applying for and keeping a job are to have nice clothes to make a decent impression, a home address and some way to be reached in tight situations. That is it!
The problem with our world is all of the jobless, homeless people. First off most homeless people spend their days hunting through trashcans and dumpsters for something of value. If they are not doing that, they are begging for spare change on street corners. Eventually, one would think that they should be able to afford a couple of respectable suits or other outfits to wear while applying and even working for a job of theirs. All they have to do is poke around a little longer or beg a little more and that job would be theirs. Keeping the clothing clean would be difficult, but manageable. If they cannot afford coins to use a Laundromat, just find some large, clean puddle of water in the street to wash things in. As for cleanliness, I am sure people throw away left over deodorant or antiperspirant, soap, and other toiletries to where they can take care of the bathing problem. They also do not need to clean their hair. In fact, doing so would get rid of the natural oils that build up over time that actually hold the hairstyle in place. Lastly, with all the left over money and such, they could go to one of those mailbox stores and buy themselves a mailing address. These boxes will cost them a pretty penny but with all the money they get begging and selling the various items they find in the garbage they should be able to afford them! That just means they will have to cope with eating only what they find in the garbage, and not spending any of that extra cash on fast food, or healthy vegetable stuff. If they absolutely need a phone number, what is stopping any of these people from sleeping close to a pay phone? Normally pay phones are in the large cities of our nation. Most of the cities generally have payphones near subways or other very populated areas in the city. Because of the pay phones being around such a large population this will also help them to have more people to beg to! All that homeless people need to do is search a little harder through garbage or beg just a little bit longer and they should be able to afford their new suits, their postal address and be able to live in a city. If all three of those requirements are met we will see a great decrease in the homeless people across not only our great nation but across the world!