How Does Cancer Affect Families
Bronte’ Ward
Research Paper
English 111, AC1
April 9, 2012
Psychological Effects on Families and Caregivers of Cancer Patients Have you ever known of someone who has had cancer? Almost every one of us could answer yes to that question without hesitation. According to data from the American Cancer society, approximately one of every three women, and one of every two men will develop some type of cancer in their lifetimes. That is an enormous amount of the population. Now think about how many people these individuals are close to, and how many people they interact with on a daily basis. Cancer does not only affect the patient, but also their families, friends, and acquaintances. Cancer causes emotional strain, uncertainty, and practical and financial problems. When one takes all of this into consideration, they realize what a huge number of people cancer truly affects. It is important that we understand not only what it feels like for those who have cancer, but also what kind of influence it has on their loved ones. My name is Bronte’ Ward. I am seventeen years old, and a senior in high school. I know what it feels like to have a family that has been affected by cancer. My Great Granddaddy Smothers, Uncle Kalvin, and Aunt Nelva have …show more content…
all passed away from different forms of cancer, and my Uncle Dwayne was recently diagnosed. We have a bad history of cancer in my family. Probably the cases that have affected me the most, though, are that of my Nanny, Faye Ward, and my Granny, Blondell Smothers. My Nanny is my grandmother on my father’s side of the family. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999 at age 59. My Granny Smothers was my great grandmother on my mother’s side of the family. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August of 2001 and died from it in December of that same year at age 73. I was young at the time, but I can still see what a change it made on my family. My Nanny has always been the one in my family to take care of everyone else. When someone is having a bad week, she will make them a plate of her delicious “Hello Dolly” bars and immediately brighten their day. If one of us locks our keys out of car, Nanny and Granddad will load up in a second and head over. If we mention that there is a new kind of beef jerky we want to try, it is waiting for us the next time we go over to her house. If we ever go on a trip, I get daily weather updates from Nanny, and she cooks us some fried chicken to eat on the way. That is why it is so hard to believe that just a little over ten years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time she was diagnosed, Nanny was busy taking care of her mother, who still lived on her own but was too old to cook for herself and had to be checked on often. She took turns with her sisters taking care of her, and also her special needs son, my Uncle Steve. He is my dad’s older brother but has always lived with my grandparents because he cannot live on his own. My Nanny’s cancer really affected him because he completely depends on her and my Granddad to take care of him. When I was speaking to Nanny about this she said, “It really bothered Steve. He asked me what would happen to him if something happened to me. I had to explain that the rest of the family would take care of him.” Even though he couldn’t completely comprehend the full importance of her cancer, he understood enough to know that if something were to happen to Nanny his life would completely change. During the time she was especially sick, her sisters had to pull together and take extra care of their mother when Nanny couldn’t, and my Granddad had to run things around the house, help her with her drain tubes and taking her medicine, and getting them back and forth to the hospital in Nashville for each procedure. When I asked dad who he thought was the most affected by Nanny’s cancer, he chose his dad. He said, “He was the one who carried her back and forth from the hospital, and helped her during and after surgery.” I asked Nanny if it was hard for her to let people help her, since she is always the one who takes care of all of us. She said that it was hard, but that she really appreciated everything. My granddad didn’t really like to cook. “We got so tired of Burger King!” Nanny and Granddad laughed, when I asked what they did about eating. Before then Nanny had cooked and Granddad washed the dishes. Also, some of the rest of the family and friends would send food. Nanny said that her loved ones supported her with their prayers and friendship. When I asked if any of them acted different around her, she replied, “It seemed like people didn’t come as much. Maybe it was because it was too hard to see me like that. They sent food and beautiful flowers, but some just didn’t come.” Overall, though, she stressed that she was very thankful for all of the support from her friends and family during such a hard time. I can tell that my Nanny’s cancer made a huge emotional impact on her and her family, although I was not old enough at the time to really remember it. I remember much more vividly my Granny Smother’s diagnosis with the disease. My mom, my little sister, and I came home from school one day to the light on the answering machine flashing. Mom nonchalantly pressed the button to hear a message from her Granny, saying that the MRI she had taken at the doctor showed that she had pancreatic cancer. I remember my mom automatically started bawling. She was always very close to Granny. She had lived across the street from mom’s family all the time growing up. She was a stubborn, religious, hard-working woman who wanted things to get done right, and who loved her family to death.
Everyone loved Granny, and it hit really hard when she was diagnosed with cancer. I asked my mom how the cancer affected her emotionally. She answered, “I cried a lot. It was very hard for me when I went to church. Even when Granny got sick she still went to church faithfully until she just couldn’t sit there for an hour anymore. I remember going to church one night and noticing her seat was empty. I cried and told her I couldn’t go to church without her being there, but she told me it was going to be okay.” She said, crying, that she can still see Granny sitting there in her regular church pew even now.
My Nana was the one who Granny’s cancer hit the hardest. She not only was losing her mother, but her very best friend. Nana moved Granny in with her in the last few months when she got really sick, and she was her caregiver, and the one who had to listen to the news from the doctors that there was nothing more that they could do. It put a lot of stress on her. She quit her job to take care of Granny, and mainly sat around the house watching her. She in turn put on weight and took on a lot of emotional distress. She did not think of Granny as any sort of burden though. She said that Granny never complained and always did what she asked. Nana said that what hurt her most is that she was not in any way skilled in healthcare, and she didn’t know how to help her mom. They had hired Hospice which was very helpful, but the fact that Nana couldn’t do anything about Granny’s condition made her feel helpless. “What it Takes to Be a Caregiver,” an article found on the American Cancer Society webpage, discusses that this type of psychological distress is normal in caregivers of cancer patients. This article explains how being a caregiver to your loved one can be rewarding, but also very frustrating and painful. It states that being a caregiver can cause severe emotional distress, and other problems such as personal neglect and trouble sleeping. It suggests trying ways of coping such as enrolling in counseling, joining a support group, or planning things for themselves in their small amount of spare time. When asking Nana how she dealt with the stress of it all, she said “One weekend I left!” She was able to do this because the rest of my family was all very supportive and pulled together as much as possible to care for Granny. That was very important to my Nana’s state of well-being. The stress and emotional burden that is placed on a caregiver is extreme, and it is important that they have support from the rest of their family and friends. Nana said that she was very lucky that my Papaw supported her moving my Granny in when she got so sick, because he loved her as much as she did. The family was very supportive, and my papaw and the rest of Nana’s siblings all pulled together and took turns with Nana looking after Granny when she needed a break.
Even being so young, I remember going over to Nana and Papaw’s house and seeing Granny lying on the couch, barely being able to get up to do anything. My Nana would offer Granny some of her favorite cookies, fresh out of the over, and she couldn’t even stand to eat a bite. She was normally very talkative, but at the end she was very quiet and reserved. She couldn’t get up and get dressed like normal, so she just wore her house coat. I still loved her just as much, but it was really hard seeing her like that. It made me sort of scared. I didn’t know how to act around her, knowing she wouldn’t be here that much longer. I remember her talking about how ready she was to get to heaven, and I didn’t understand how someone could be ready to die like that. It inspires me even now how strong her faith stayed until the end. She influenced me in a way I will never forget, although I didn’t understand why she had to go in such a horrible way. Although she never complained, we could all tell she was in pain and the cancer was slowly breaking her down and stealing her away from us bit by bit. It was heart-breaking.
Watching as a child, it really hurt me how much Granny’s cancer affected my mom. Around the house, mom was a lot more solemn and on edge. She cried whenever anyone talked about it. I had never seen anything have such a result on my mom, and none of us knew what to do or say to help her deal with it.
Granny finally passed away that December, just a few weeks before Christmas. Everyone was very upset, but I think it made it a little bit better that we had been expecting it. Her kidneys had failed and we all knew that she didn’t have much time. Several family members joined at Nana and Papaw’s house over the next few days to wish her goodbye. I remember us taking turns holding her hand and saying our goodbyes, even though she was too sick to talk. We all gathered in her room and sang her favorite hymns during her final hours before she passed. I remember bawling when I really realized she was gone. I knew she was in a better place where she would no longer have to suffer, but it still made me sad to know that she was no longer there.
Cancer in a family, especially in terminal cases, affects each family member significantly.
We all handle it in different ways. A lot of it depends on age and how close you are personally to the one with the illness, but in all cases it affects you in a way emotionally that you cannot shake. It is hard to sit by and watch someone that you know and love suffer. There is nothing you can do when cancer takes its toll except try to follow the doctors’ orders and make your loved one feel as comfortable as possible. I watched my mom and family become constantly on edge because they never knew when their last day with Granny would be. They tried to do and say all of the right things because they had no clue how much longer they
had. In the cases of cancer we have had in my family, it has made it easier because both my Nanny and Granny were very humble and willing to do what the doctor told them to in order to get well. I can imagine that it would have been much harder on my Granddad and my Nana if they had been ungrateful or hard to deal with. Our Cancer Year is a graphic novel by Harvey Pekar and Joyce Brabner which describes a year in which Harvey is diagnosed with cancer and portrays Harvey and Joyce’s struggles and challenges that year. In this novel, Harvey is very stubborn and hard to handle. He is constantly trying to do things he shouldn’t be doing, and this makes Joyce very angry. Harvey gives up and refuses to try to get better, but Joyce keeps pushing him and gets very angry when he stops trying. It makes it much harder on Joyce to take care of Harvey when he is acting like he doesn’t even want help. If I were to analyze Harvey in Our Cancer Year, along with my Granny Smothers and Nanny in real life, I could make some interesting comparisons. My Granny was much like Harvey in the fact that she had a very hard time dealing with the fact that she could not do the same things as she used to be able to when affected by cancer. She was used to working in her garden every day, helping Papaw with the cows, and fixing anything that was broken or messed up on her house. I remember how even when she was getting really sick, she refused to let anyone else mow her yard. When she ran into a trailer one day mowing it herself, she realized that she couldn’t do things like that anymore. It really took a toll on her. This relates to Harvey in Our Cancer Year in that he had a really hard time not being able to go to work. He went as long as he possibly could, even though he had sick days that he could use. Not being able to go work made Harvey feel useless, similar to how my Granny felt when she could no longer work like she used to. My Nanny had been used to cleaning her house daily, cooking for everyone, and taking care of her flowers. When she got sick, she had to depend on others to do this for her and she too felt a sense of uselessness. When one is diagnosed with cancer, physical deterioration is not the only thing they have to deal with. They also have to allow their friends and family to be who they rely on for things they used to be able to do for themselves, which is the hardest thing of all for some individuals. Seeing your family member totally change and become someone different than you previously knew can be very hard for the caregiver as well. My Nana’s biggest challenge was that she saw Granny slowly changing, but there was nothing she could do about it. She said that if she could have changed anything, she would have asked for about ten more years with Granny. I believe that is what every caregiver and family member wants: to see their loved one alive as long as possible. That doesn’t always happen, though. We lost my Granny in only four months after her diagnosis. I am glad that we had so much support from family and friends and were able to cope afterwards. She had lived a good life, and we were proud.
We have been lucky to be able to keep my Nanny for these twelve years after her diagnosis. She is back to herself again, calling all the time to say she made me a milkshake and grilled cheese and that I should come over to watch American Idol with them. I am so glad that she is still here with us, but that does not mean s he is no longer affected by the cancer.
My Nanny only has one breast. The other was removed during surgery. She has to go to the doctor for scans often to make sure the cancer has not come back. It is gone, but there will always be the fear that the cancer will come back, and either she will have to go through the same awful thing as before, or that it will be even worse.
There are several ways for to cope with emotions after cancer treatment suggested by the American Cancer Society webpage. They suggest joining a counseling or support group, looking for comfort in religion or spirituality, and reading literature about coping with cancer. Personally, I think that support from family and friends is one of the best forms of recovery. When talking to my Nanny, she commented on how much it meant when she would go to church or the grocery store and people would come up to her and say that they had been praying for her. It’s surprising how big of an impact something as small as that can be on a person. Each word of encouragement and act of kindness towards a patient or their family can make a huge difference. Even now, my Nanny and Nana can tell me specific things certain people did to help them out during their time of need. Even though those things may have seemed insignificant, they made an unforgettable impression. Dealing with cancer is an emotional struggle every day for all family members and friends involved. Cancer strips away a lot of petty disagreements and misunderstandings. It makes the things that used to seem so important seem completely insignificant. When you or a loved one is struggling with cancer, you realize that what is important is what you do with your life and who you can really count on. Cancer changes the life of a patient, the patient’s family, and the patient’s everyday acquaintances tremendously. Upon diagnosis, immediate provisions for everyday life have to be made. If the patient is lucky enough, their loved ones will step up to the plate and make sure that have the least painful experiences, emotionally and physically, as possible. This type of love speaks wonders. When I asked my Nana what advice she would give to someone who was about to embark on taking care of a loved one with cancer, she replied “Treasure every moment you have with them. Spend as much time with your loved one as you can while they are living and in good health. The little things don’t really matter. Look over past faults, and cherish every single second you have until it is too late.” I think most caregivers would agree that although caring for your loved one in such a crucial time of their life is extremely challenging, in the end it is rewarding knowing that whether they live or pass away, they have made an influence on those moments in their life. Hopefully that influence is positive. Their help and support can make a world of difference.
Works Cited
"American Cancer Society | Information and Resources for Cancer: Breast, Colon, Lung, Prostate, Skin." American Cancer Society | Information and Resources for Cancer: Breast, Colon, Lung, Prostate, Skin. Web.. .
Brabner, Joyce, Harvey Pekar, and Frank Stack. Our cancer year. New York: Four Walls Eight Windows, 1994. Print.
Hargrove, Linda. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Ward, Faye. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Ward, Lori. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Ward, Mark. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Research Paper
English 111, AC1
April 9, 2012
Psychological Effects on Families and Caregivers of Cancer Patients Have you ever known of someone who has had cancer? Almost every one of us could answer yes to that question without hesitation. According to data from the American Cancer society, approximately one of every three women, and one of every two men will develop some type of cancer in their lifetimes. That is an enormous amount of the population. Now think about how many people these individuals are close to, and how many people they interact with on a daily basis. Cancer does not only affect the patient, but also their families, friends, and acquaintances. Cancer causes emotional strain, uncertainty, and practical and financial problems. When one takes all of this into consideration, they realize what a huge number of people cancer truly affects. It is important that we understand not only what it feels like for those who have cancer, but also what kind of influence it has on their loved ones. My name is Bronte’ Ward. I am seventeen years old, and a senior in high school. I know what it feels like to have a family that has been affected by cancer. My Great Granddaddy Smothers, Uncle Kalvin, and Aunt Nelva have …show more content…
all passed away from different forms of cancer, and my Uncle Dwayne was recently diagnosed. We have a bad history of cancer in my family. Probably the cases that have affected me the most, though, are that of my Nanny, Faye Ward, and my Granny, Blondell Smothers. My Nanny is my grandmother on my father’s side of the family. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999 at age 59. My Granny Smothers was my great grandmother on my mother’s side of the family. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August of 2001 and died from it in December of that same year at age 73. I was young at the time, but I can still see what a change it made on my family. My Nanny has always been the one in my family to take care of everyone else. When someone is having a bad week, she will make them a plate of her delicious “Hello Dolly” bars and immediately brighten their day. If one of us locks our keys out of car, Nanny and Granddad will load up in a second and head over. If we mention that there is a new kind of beef jerky we want to try, it is waiting for us the next time we go over to her house. If we ever go on a trip, I get daily weather updates from Nanny, and she cooks us some fried chicken to eat on the way. That is why it is so hard to believe that just a little over ten years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time she was diagnosed, Nanny was busy taking care of her mother, who still lived on her own but was too old to cook for herself and had to be checked on often. She took turns with her sisters taking care of her, and also her special needs son, my Uncle Steve. He is my dad’s older brother but has always lived with my grandparents because he cannot live on his own. My Nanny’s cancer really affected him because he completely depends on her and my Granddad to take care of him. When I was speaking to Nanny about this she said, “It really bothered Steve. He asked me what would happen to him if something happened to me. I had to explain that the rest of the family would take care of him.” Even though he couldn’t completely comprehend the full importance of her cancer, he understood enough to know that if something were to happen to Nanny his life would completely change. During the time she was especially sick, her sisters had to pull together and take extra care of their mother when Nanny couldn’t, and my Granddad had to run things around the house, help her with her drain tubes and taking her medicine, and getting them back and forth to the hospital in Nashville for each procedure. When I asked dad who he thought was the most affected by Nanny’s cancer, he chose his dad. He said, “He was the one who carried her back and forth from the hospital, and helped her during and after surgery.” I asked Nanny if it was hard for her to let people help her, since she is always the one who takes care of all of us. She said that it was hard, but that she really appreciated everything. My granddad didn’t really like to cook. “We got so tired of Burger King!” Nanny and Granddad laughed, when I asked what they did about eating. Before then Nanny had cooked and Granddad washed the dishes. Also, some of the rest of the family and friends would send food. Nanny said that her loved ones supported her with their prayers and friendship. When I asked if any of them acted different around her, she replied, “It seemed like people didn’t come as much. Maybe it was because it was too hard to see me like that. They sent food and beautiful flowers, but some just didn’t come.” Overall, though, she stressed that she was very thankful for all of the support from her friends and family during such a hard time. I can tell that my Nanny’s cancer made a huge emotional impact on her and her family, although I was not old enough at the time to really remember it. I remember much more vividly my Granny Smother’s diagnosis with the disease. My mom, my little sister, and I came home from school one day to the light on the answering machine flashing. Mom nonchalantly pressed the button to hear a message from her Granny, saying that the MRI she had taken at the doctor showed that she had pancreatic cancer. I remember my mom automatically started bawling. She was always very close to Granny. She had lived across the street from mom’s family all the time growing up. She was a stubborn, religious, hard-working woman who wanted things to get done right, and who loved her family to death.
Everyone loved Granny, and it hit really hard when she was diagnosed with cancer. I asked my mom how the cancer affected her emotionally. She answered, “I cried a lot. It was very hard for me when I went to church. Even when Granny got sick she still went to church faithfully until she just couldn’t sit there for an hour anymore. I remember going to church one night and noticing her seat was empty. I cried and told her I couldn’t go to church without her being there, but she told me it was going to be okay.” She said, crying, that she can still see Granny sitting there in her regular church pew even now.
My Nana was the one who Granny’s cancer hit the hardest. She not only was losing her mother, but her very best friend. Nana moved Granny in with her in the last few months when she got really sick, and she was her caregiver, and the one who had to listen to the news from the doctors that there was nothing more that they could do. It put a lot of stress on her. She quit her job to take care of Granny, and mainly sat around the house watching her. She in turn put on weight and took on a lot of emotional distress. She did not think of Granny as any sort of burden though. She said that Granny never complained and always did what she asked. Nana said that what hurt her most is that she was not in any way skilled in healthcare, and she didn’t know how to help her mom. They had hired Hospice which was very helpful, but the fact that Nana couldn’t do anything about Granny’s condition made her feel helpless. “What it Takes to Be a Caregiver,” an article found on the American Cancer Society webpage, discusses that this type of psychological distress is normal in caregivers of cancer patients. This article explains how being a caregiver to your loved one can be rewarding, but also very frustrating and painful. It states that being a caregiver can cause severe emotional distress, and other problems such as personal neglect and trouble sleeping. It suggests trying ways of coping such as enrolling in counseling, joining a support group, or planning things for themselves in their small amount of spare time. When asking Nana how she dealt with the stress of it all, she said “One weekend I left!” She was able to do this because the rest of my family was all very supportive and pulled together as much as possible to care for Granny. That was very important to my Nana’s state of well-being. The stress and emotional burden that is placed on a caregiver is extreme, and it is important that they have support from the rest of their family and friends. Nana said that she was very lucky that my Papaw supported her moving my Granny in when she got so sick, because he loved her as much as she did. The family was very supportive, and my papaw and the rest of Nana’s siblings all pulled together and took turns with Nana looking after Granny when she needed a break.
Even being so young, I remember going over to Nana and Papaw’s house and seeing Granny lying on the couch, barely being able to get up to do anything. My Nana would offer Granny some of her favorite cookies, fresh out of the over, and she couldn’t even stand to eat a bite. She was normally very talkative, but at the end she was very quiet and reserved. She couldn’t get up and get dressed like normal, so she just wore her house coat. I still loved her just as much, but it was really hard seeing her like that. It made me sort of scared. I didn’t know how to act around her, knowing she wouldn’t be here that much longer. I remember her talking about how ready she was to get to heaven, and I didn’t understand how someone could be ready to die like that. It inspires me even now how strong her faith stayed until the end. She influenced me in a way I will never forget, although I didn’t understand why she had to go in such a horrible way. Although she never complained, we could all tell she was in pain and the cancer was slowly breaking her down and stealing her away from us bit by bit. It was heart-breaking.
Watching as a child, it really hurt me how much Granny’s cancer affected my mom. Around the house, mom was a lot more solemn and on edge. She cried whenever anyone talked about it. I had never seen anything have such a result on my mom, and none of us knew what to do or say to help her deal with it.
Granny finally passed away that December, just a few weeks before Christmas. Everyone was very upset, but I think it made it a little bit better that we had been expecting it. Her kidneys had failed and we all knew that she didn’t have much time. Several family members joined at Nana and Papaw’s house over the next few days to wish her goodbye. I remember us taking turns holding her hand and saying our goodbyes, even though she was too sick to talk. We all gathered in her room and sang her favorite hymns during her final hours before she passed. I remember bawling when I really realized she was gone. I knew she was in a better place where she would no longer have to suffer, but it still made me sad to know that she was no longer there.
Cancer in a family, especially in terminal cases, affects each family member significantly.
We all handle it in different ways. A lot of it depends on age and how close you are personally to the one with the illness, but in all cases it affects you in a way emotionally that you cannot shake. It is hard to sit by and watch someone that you know and love suffer. There is nothing you can do when cancer takes its toll except try to follow the doctors’ orders and make your loved one feel as comfortable as possible. I watched my mom and family become constantly on edge because they never knew when their last day with Granny would be. They tried to do and say all of the right things because they had no clue how much longer they
had. In the cases of cancer we have had in my family, it has made it easier because both my Nanny and Granny were very humble and willing to do what the doctor told them to in order to get well. I can imagine that it would have been much harder on my Granddad and my Nana if they had been ungrateful or hard to deal with. Our Cancer Year is a graphic novel by Harvey Pekar and Joyce Brabner which describes a year in which Harvey is diagnosed with cancer and portrays Harvey and Joyce’s struggles and challenges that year. In this novel, Harvey is very stubborn and hard to handle. He is constantly trying to do things he shouldn’t be doing, and this makes Joyce very angry. Harvey gives up and refuses to try to get better, but Joyce keeps pushing him and gets very angry when he stops trying. It makes it much harder on Joyce to take care of Harvey when he is acting like he doesn’t even want help. If I were to analyze Harvey in Our Cancer Year, along with my Granny Smothers and Nanny in real life, I could make some interesting comparisons. My Granny was much like Harvey in the fact that she had a very hard time dealing with the fact that she could not do the same things as she used to be able to when affected by cancer. She was used to working in her garden every day, helping Papaw with the cows, and fixing anything that was broken or messed up on her house. I remember how even when she was getting really sick, she refused to let anyone else mow her yard. When she ran into a trailer one day mowing it herself, she realized that she couldn’t do things like that anymore. It really took a toll on her. This relates to Harvey in Our Cancer Year in that he had a really hard time not being able to go to work. He went as long as he possibly could, even though he had sick days that he could use. Not being able to go work made Harvey feel useless, similar to how my Granny felt when she could no longer work like she used to. My Nanny had been used to cleaning her house daily, cooking for everyone, and taking care of her flowers. When she got sick, she had to depend on others to do this for her and she too felt a sense of uselessness. When one is diagnosed with cancer, physical deterioration is not the only thing they have to deal with. They also have to allow their friends and family to be who they rely on for things they used to be able to do for themselves, which is the hardest thing of all for some individuals. Seeing your family member totally change and become someone different than you previously knew can be very hard for the caregiver as well. My Nana’s biggest challenge was that she saw Granny slowly changing, but there was nothing she could do about it. She said that if she could have changed anything, she would have asked for about ten more years with Granny. I believe that is what every caregiver and family member wants: to see their loved one alive as long as possible. That doesn’t always happen, though. We lost my Granny in only four months after her diagnosis. I am glad that we had so much support from family and friends and were able to cope afterwards. She had lived a good life, and we were proud.
We have been lucky to be able to keep my Nanny for these twelve years after her diagnosis. She is back to herself again, calling all the time to say she made me a milkshake and grilled cheese and that I should come over to watch American Idol with them. I am so glad that she is still here with us, but that does not mean s he is no longer affected by the cancer.
My Nanny only has one breast. The other was removed during surgery. She has to go to the doctor for scans often to make sure the cancer has not come back. It is gone, but there will always be the fear that the cancer will come back, and either she will have to go through the same awful thing as before, or that it will be even worse.
There are several ways for to cope with emotions after cancer treatment suggested by the American Cancer Society webpage. They suggest joining a counseling or support group, looking for comfort in religion or spirituality, and reading literature about coping with cancer. Personally, I think that support from family and friends is one of the best forms of recovery. When talking to my Nanny, she commented on how much it meant when she would go to church or the grocery store and people would come up to her and say that they had been praying for her. It’s surprising how big of an impact something as small as that can be on a person. Each word of encouragement and act of kindness towards a patient or their family can make a huge difference. Even now, my Nanny and Nana can tell me specific things certain people did to help them out during their time of need. Even though those things may have seemed insignificant, they made an unforgettable impression. Dealing with cancer is an emotional struggle every day for all family members and friends involved. Cancer strips away a lot of petty disagreements and misunderstandings. It makes the things that used to seem so important seem completely insignificant. When you or a loved one is struggling with cancer, you realize that what is important is what you do with your life and who you can really count on. Cancer changes the life of a patient, the patient’s family, and the patient’s everyday acquaintances tremendously. Upon diagnosis, immediate provisions for everyday life have to be made. If the patient is lucky enough, their loved ones will step up to the plate and make sure that have the least painful experiences, emotionally and physically, as possible. This type of love speaks wonders. When I asked my Nana what advice she would give to someone who was about to embark on taking care of a loved one with cancer, she replied “Treasure every moment you have with them. Spend as much time with your loved one as you can while they are living and in good health. The little things don’t really matter. Look over past faults, and cherish every single second you have until it is too late.” I think most caregivers would agree that although caring for your loved one in such a crucial time of their life is extremely challenging, in the end it is rewarding knowing that whether they live or pass away, they have made an influence on those moments in their life. Hopefully that influence is positive. Their help and support can make a world of difference.
Works Cited
"American Cancer Society | Information and Resources for Cancer: Breast, Colon, Lung, Prostate, Skin." American Cancer Society | Information and Resources for Cancer: Breast, Colon, Lung, Prostate, Skin. Web.. .
Brabner, Joyce, Harvey Pekar, and Frank Stack. Our cancer year. New York: Four Walls Eight Windows, 1994. Print.
Hargrove, Linda. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Ward, Faye. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Ward, Lori. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012
Ward, Mark. Personal Interview. 7 Apr. 2012