How Does Walt Disney Present Simba As A Christ Figure
RLG332H
Reel Religion T.A.Ian Brown Prof. Ken Derry
The Lion King By: Vanessa Figliomeni
998308987
Saturday February 21st 2015 2495
Walt Disney’s, The Lion King is a thought provoking film, which when carefully viewed, allows the audience to identify the religious connotations linked to it. In terms of the meaning of the film, The Lion King presents Simba as a human, heroic Christ figure as part of the films justification of violence under the necessary circumstances of defeating Scar, in order to ultimately save the kingdom. In this aspect, the films representation of Simba as a Christ figure strongly relates …show more content…
to Lloyd Baugh’s Imagining The Divine. In his text, Baugh examines the multiple Christ incarnations as he compares and contrasts various Christ images (Baugh 1997,205). Baugh describes the Christ figure by indicating how various aspects of film work to shape Christ / Jesus as a character (Baugh 1997,205). Certain aspects of the Christ images examined by Baugh, which appropriately apply to Simba, are the idea of Simba as a scapegoat, having followers and suffering, praying, facing conflict with authority and as an adventure hero. The Lion King is a heroic tale that expresses many Christian allegorical features, that tend to fit with the various human elements of learning, changing and growing as an individual, which closely connect to Baugh’s understanding of Christ as a hero.
Regarding the death of Mufasa, it is clear that Simba has become Scar’s scapegoat. Scar tells Simba that he must wait beside a particular tree, in order to receive a grand surprise. However, little does Simba know that this surprise is actually a dangerous stampede of animals coming his way, (one of many attempts by Scar to kill Simba). As he observes that Simba is in grave danger, Zazu informs Mufasa of his son Simba’s whereabouts, and Mufasa races to his rescue. Although he is able to guide Simba to safety, Mufasa remains caught in the dangerous herd. As he attempts to climb a wall of rocks to safety, Mufasa is confronted by his jealous brother Scar, looking to take his place as king. Faced with the choice of either saving or killing his brother, Scar utters the words (Long live the king” as he throws Mufasa off the cliff, to his death. Simba witnesses this tragic event, and is told by Scar that it is entirely his fault, “ If it wasn’t for you, Mufasa would still be alive” (The Lion King). Simba believes this horrible lie, and as Scar commands him to run away and never return, he flees Pride Rock, as he feels incredibly ashamed and guilty for a murder he was not responsible for.
As Jesus Christ died on the cross in order to save humankind, he served as a scapegoat who took on “ The sins of the word” (Baugh 1997,207). Baugh describes Jesus as a biblical scapegoat “Going out with the sins of humankind on it back” (Baugh 1997,207). In this case, like Jesus carries the sins of humankind, Simba is also a scapegoat as he carries the sins of Scar, believing them to be his own. As Jesus suffers by carrying the cross and ultimately dying, Simba also suffers, but in a different way. Not only is the grieving cub forced to live with the false accusation that he has killed his father, but he is also forced out of his home, away from his mother and friends, unable to seek comfort from his family who are also grieving. Simba has not only lost his father, but he has also lost all ties to his family, as well as his identity as future king. Like Jesus, Simba’s entire life is changing.
Once Simba is exiled from his home, he discovers a land of paradise where he eventually gains two loyal followers. As Timon and Pumbaa playfully run into a crowd of birds, they discover the young cub sleeping on the ground. Although these two species should not associate with one another (given the fact that Timon and Pumbaa are herbivores and Simba is a carnivore) it is interesting how the three become great friends. According to Baugh, in various Christ-figure films the protagonists “Attract a group of followers whom they teach and form and save. Once the masters are gone, they carry forward their mission” (Baugh 1997,206). In this respect, like Jesus’s twelve disciples were his loyal followers, Timon and Pumbaa are considered to be Simba (the protagonists) followers. Timon and Pumbaa grow to trust and support Simba, especially when he battles Scar. They also start to consider Simba as their savior and protector from all dangerous things. This is evident when Nala is chasing Pumbaa, and Simba heroically saves his life, as a means of protecting his people. Referring back to Baugh’s quote, “Followers whom they teach and form and save”, it is interesting how although Timon and Pumbaa consider Simba to be their savior, it is them who raise and teach Simba (Baugh 1997,206). For instance, Timon and Pumbaa first meet Simba when he is a young cub, and remain by his side until he grows into a mature lion. During this time, they teach Simba how to adapt to a new environment by becoming a herbivore. They also teach Simba how to live a carefree lifestyle, by teaching him “Hakuna Matata” which means “no worries”. This is a phrase, which they conform to, and preach just like it is their own religion. This is also interesting because in a way, it is like Timon and Pumbaa are also Simba’s saviors. They have saved him from his past by helping Simba to put the death of his father behind him, and move on with his life in a land of paradise.
In terms of the prayer element of Christ images, it can be argued that Mufasa symbolizes God. Prior to his death, Mufasa tells Simba that all the previous kings who have passed away now live in the sky and are always looking down on them, watching. As they gaze at the stars in the night sky, Mufasa tells Simba, “ Whenever you feel alone those kings will be there to guide you and so will I” (The Lion King). After Mufasa’s death, as Simba struggles with facing his past, Simba looks into the sky and shouts, “ You said you’d always be there for me but you’re not” (The Lion King). In another scene, Rafiki tells Simba that he can bring him to see his deceased father. At this point, Mufasa’s spirit appears in the sky and Simba is able to communicate with him. Mufasa tells Simba, “ Look inside yourself, you are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the circle of life. Remember who you are. You are my son and the one and only true king” (The Lion King).
According to Baugh, the gospels indicate that Jesus frequently visited a “deserted area” In order to pray (Baugh 1997,208). Baugh further states that, “The film portrayal of prayer, of moments of intimacy with God, of closeness to or mystical union with God is one of the most significant if subtle and delicate dimensions of the filmic Christ figure, one which brings him very close to Jesus” (Baugh 1997,208). In a way, the sky serves as Simba’s “deserted” area, as he frequently looks to the stars, as a place where he can connect to his father. The sky is a place where he can vent to Mufasa and where he is actually able to receive a response back from him. When Mufasa appears in the sky, Simba shared in a moment of intimacy with his father. Mufasa is able to spiritually unite with Simba and remind him to never forget who he is.
Immediately before Rafiki brings Simba to see his father, he tells Simba that “ He lives in you”, referring to Mufasa. This particular line is interesting, because in Christianity God is a spiritual being. Christians are not able to physically see or communicate with God whenever they desire. Rather, it is commonly known in Christianity that God lives inside Christians and has the power to know when they have committed acts of kindness, or sins. Similar to God, Mufasa claims that he lives within Simba, uniting them as one, expressing a never-ending closeness between the two. Mufasa tells Simba, “ You have forgotten who you are, and so you have forgotten me” (The Lion King). Mufasa seems to posses the same power as God by living inside of Simba, and being able to know that Simba blames himself for his death, and fears confrontation with his past. It is also interesting how just as God is the father of Jesus, and God commanded Jesus to die for his people, Mufasa is the father of Simba, who commands him to take his place in the circle of life, as king, in order to save his people. Throughout the film, Simba tends to be in conflict with the authoritative position Scar has placed himself in.
Although he is not king, and he is not respected by the animals of Pride Rock like Mufasa is, the hyenas respect Scar, as they have begun to follow and support him. In this aspect, Scar has created an authoritative position for himself. He has always been jealous of his brother the ‘king’ and resents Simba for biologically being next in line for the throne. By gaining the respect of the hyenas, Scar is able to lead them. However, this does not satisfy him, as he makes it his own mission to get rid of Mufasa and Simba once and for all. First, Scar encourages Simba to visit the dangerous elephant graveyard. Once Mufasa comes to his rescue, Scar tries a second time by allowing Simba to be chased by the stampede of animals. As Mufasa saves Simba once again, Scar is happy to see that Mufasa is killed in the process. Finally, when Scar makes Simba run away, he sends the hyenas after him knowing that his father won’t be able to come to his rescue for a third …show more content…
time.
According to Baugh, the gospel expresses that “The most dramatic tension is created by the conflict between Jesus and the Jewish religious authorities” (Baugh 1997,207). Baugh further states that from the start of his social life until he is crucified, Jesus was in conflict with the Pharisees who wanted to kill him (Baugh 1997,207). This can be connected to Scar’s evil desire to kill Simba. Just as Jesus was in conflict with the Pharisees for a large portion of his life, Simba was in conflict with Scar for a large portion of his own life, since Scar wanted to kill him ever since he was a cub. It is interesting how although Simba is the son of king Mufasa, Scar seems to have authority over him. This is because Scar is much older than Simba, and takes advantage of the fact that Simba is young and naive, and respects his uncle, as he wouldn’t imagine that Scar would ever cause him any harm. Scar is also much stronger and has an army of hyenas on his side. When Simba grows up and learns that Scar is destroying the kingdom, he returns home to battle Scar. This is interesting because now, it is Scar who is in conflict with Simba, who has come back, and has become incredibly powerful, as he is the son of Mufasa, the true king who gains the respect of the entire kingdom.
In The Lion King, Simba is presented as a Messianic adventure hero. Simba’s heroic journey commences once he is exiled from the Pride Land, and begins a new life with Timon and Pumbaa. One-day, Simba’s childhood friend Nala runs into Simba after many years of being apart. Nala tells Simba that during his absence Scar had, “ Let the Hyenas take over the Pride Land. Everything is destroyed and if you don’t do something soon, everyone will starve” (The Lion King). Nala is desperate for Simba to return home. Initially, Simba does not want to face his past, as he is so used to living a carefree life. However, when he communicates with his father (as previously mentioned) Simba listens to the message Mufasa has given him, to remember who he is.
Simba now acknowledges his responsibilities and decides to return home. Upon his arrival, Simba confronts Scar who has stolen Simba position as King. Simba and Scar engage in a violent battle and with the help of Simba’s friends (Timon, Pumbaa, Nala, and Rafiki), Simba exposes Scars secret of murdering Mufasa to all. He successfully expels Scar, and restores the Pride land to its previous glory. At this point, Simba is announced king in front of the entire kingdom and he is finally able to restore the circle of life, by reclaiming his rightful position as king of Pride Rock.
In his text, Baugh explains that common mediums of Christ figures within cinema are popular adventure films. In these types of films “ The protagonists, in dimensions of their personalities and in aspects of their behavior, reflect elements of the story of Jesus Christ” (Baugh 1997,222). It can be argued that Jesus’s heroic journey began at birth. God chose Jesus as a vessel to live through (similar to how Mufasa lives through Simba). Jesus led a spiritual life, offering himself entirely to God, his father, and he ultimately died to save others, as this was his mission. Simba was born into royalty and he is chosen to rule the kingdom. Just like Jesus’s people needed a savior, Simba’s kingdom also needs to be saved. Simba’s mission is to return home and save his people, just as Jesus died for his. It is also interesting that just like Jesus heroically sacrificed himself for the well being of his people, it could be argued that since Simba didn’t want to return home at first, he scarified his carefree lifestyle, living in a land of paradise, in order to return home to save his kingdom.
Walt Disney’s The Lion King tells a story of great heroism, which demonstrates multiple Christian features that are linked to Lloyd Baugh’s description of Christ as a hero.
This film is filled with multiple hidden messages and acts which reflect the life and journey of Jesus Christ. It is quite interesting to watch and think deeply about the religious connotations of the film, which may be difficult for one to identify if they do not pay close enough attention. The film depicts Simba as a Christ figure, as it applies various Christ images to him. The lion King expresses Simba as a scapegoat, depicts him having followers and suffering, it shows Simba connecting to his father through prayer, experiencing conflict with authority and as an adventure hero. Through The Lion King Simba is presented as a heroic Christ figure that embodies many human attributes as he learns, and grows throughout his life. Simba’s role as Christ is used to justify the films use of violence under the conditions of overthrowing Scar and restoring Pride
Rock.
Work Cited
Baugh, Lloyd. 1997. Imaging the Divine: Jesus and Christ-figures in Film. Kansas City, Sheed & Ward.
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Reel Religion T.A.Ian Brown Prof. Ken Derry
The Lion King By: Vanessa Figliomeni
998308987
Saturday February 21st 2015 2495
Walt Disney’s, The Lion King is a thought provoking film, which when carefully viewed, allows the audience to identify the religious connotations linked to it. In terms of the meaning of the film, The Lion King presents Simba as a human, heroic Christ figure as part of the films justification of violence under the necessary circumstances of defeating Scar, in order to ultimately save the kingdom. In this aspect, the films representation of Simba as a Christ figure strongly relates …show more content…
to Lloyd Baugh’s Imagining The Divine. In his text, Baugh examines the multiple Christ incarnations as he compares and contrasts various Christ images (Baugh 1997,205). Baugh describes the Christ figure by indicating how various aspects of film work to shape Christ / Jesus as a character (Baugh 1997,205). Certain aspects of the Christ images examined by Baugh, which appropriately apply to Simba, are the idea of Simba as a scapegoat, having followers and suffering, praying, facing conflict with authority and as an adventure hero. The Lion King is a heroic tale that expresses many Christian allegorical features, that tend to fit with the various human elements of learning, changing and growing as an individual, which closely connect to Baugh’s understanding of Christ as a hero.
Regarding the death of Mufasa, it is clear that Simba has become Scar’s scapegoat. Scar tells Simba that he must wait beside a particular tree, in order to receive a grand surprise. However, little does Simba know that this surprise is actually a dangerous stampede of animals coming his way, (one of many attempts by Scar to kill Simba). As he observes that Simba is in grave danger, Zazu informs Mufasa of his son Simba’s whereabouts, and Mufasa races to his rescue. Although he is able to guide Simba to safety, Mufasa remains caught in the dangerous herd. As he attempts to climb a wall of rocks to safety, Mufasa is confronted by his jealous brother Scar, looking to take his place as king. Faced with the choice of either saving or killing his brother, Scar utters the words (Long live the king” as he throws Mufasa off the cliff, to his death. Simba witnesses this tragic event, and is told by Scar that it is entirely his fault, “ If it wasn’t for you, Mufasa would still be alive” (The Lion King). Simba believes this horrible lie, and as Scar commands him to run away and never return, he flees Pride Rock, as he feels incredibly ashamed and guilty for a murder he was not responsible for.
As Jesus Christ died on the cross in order to save humankind, he served as a scapegoat who took on “ The sins of the word” (Baugh 1997,207). Baugh describes Jesus as a biblical scapegoat “Going out with the sins of humankind on it back” (Baugh 1997,207). In this case, like Jesus carries the sins of humankind, Simba is also a scapegoat as he carries the sins of Scar, believing them to be his own. As Jesus suffers by carrying the cross and ultimately dying, Simba also suffers, but in a different way. Not only is the grieving cub forced to live with the false accusation that he has killed his father, but he is also forced out of his home, away from his mother and friends, unable to seek comfort from his family who are also grieving. Simba has not only lost his father, but he has also lost all ties to his family, as well as his identity as future king. Like Jesus, Simba’s entire life is changing.
Once Simba is exiled from his home, he discovers a land of paradise where he eventually gains two loyal followers. As Timon and Pumbaa playfully run into a crowd of birds, they discover the young cub sleeping on the ground. Although these two species should not associate with one another (given the fact that Timon and Pumbaa are herbivores and Simba is a carnivore) it is interesting how the three become great friends. According to Baugh, in various Christ-figure films the protagonists “Attract a group of followers whom they teach and form and save. Once the masters are gone, they carry forward their mission” (Baugh 1997,206). In this respect, like Jesus’s twelve disciples were his loyal followers, Timon and Pumbaa are considered to be Simba (the protagonists) followers. Timon and Pumbaa grow to trust and support Simba, especially when he battles Scar. They also start to consider Simba as their savior and protector from all dangerous things. This is evident when Nala is chasing Pumbaa, and Simba heroically saves his life, as a means of protecting his people. Referring back to Baugh’s quote, “Followers whom they teach and form and save”, it is interesting how although Timon and Pumbaa consider Simba to be their savior, it is them who raise and teach Simba (Baugh 1997,206). For instance, Timon and Pumbaa first meet Simba when he is a young cub, and remain by his side until he grows into a mature lion. During this time, they teach Simba how to adapt to a new environment by becoming a herbivore. They also teach Simba how to live a carefree lifestyle, by teaching him “Hakuna Matata” which means “no worries”. This is a phrase, which they conform to, and preach just like it is their own religion. This is also interesting because in a way, it is like Timon and Pumbaa are also Simba’s saviors. They have saved him from his past by helping Simba to put the death of his father behind him, and move on with his life in a land of paradise.
In terms of the prayer element of Christ images, it can be argued that Mufasa symbolizes God. Prior to his death, Mufasa tells Simba that all the previous kings who have passed away now live in the sky and are always looking down on them, watching. As they gaze at the stars in the night sky, Mufasa tells Simba, “ Whenever you feel alone those kings will be there to guide you and so will I” (The Lion King). After Mufasa’s death, as Simba struggles with facing his past, Simba looks into the sky and shouts, “ You said you’d always be there for me but you’re not” (The Lion King). In another scene, Rafiki tells Simba that he can bring him to see his deceased father. At this point, Mufasa’s spirit appears in the sky and Simba is able to communicate with him. Mufasa tells Simba, “ Look inside yourself, you are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the circle of life. Remember who you are. You are my son and the one and only true king” (The Lion King).
According to Baugh, the gospels indicate that Jesus frequently visited a “deserted area” In order to pray (Baugh 1997,208). Baugh further states that, “The film portrayal of prayer, of moments of intimacy with God, of closeness to or mystical union with God is one of the most significant if subtle and delicate dimensions of the filmic Christ figure, one which brings him very close to Jesus” (Baugh 1997,208). In a way, the sky serves as Simba’s “deserted” area, as he frequently looks to the stars, as a place where he can connect to his father. The sky is a place where he can vent to Mufasa and where he is actually able to receive a response back from him. When Mufasa appears in the sky, Simba shared in a moment of intimacy with his father. Mufasa is able to spiritually unite with Simba and remind him to never forget who he is.
Immediately before Rafiki brings Simba to see his father, he tells Simba that “ He lives in you”, referring to Mufasa. This particular line is interesting, because in Christianity God is a spiritual being. Christians are not able to physically see or communicate with God whenever they desire. Rather, it is commonly known in Christianity that God lives inside Christians and has the power to know when they have committed acts of kindness, or sins. Similar to God, Mufasa claims that he lives within Simba, uniting them as one, expressing a never-ending closeness between the two. Mufasa tells Simba, “ You have forgotten who you are, and so you have forgotten me” (The Lion King). Mufasa seems to posses the same power as God by living inside of Simba, and being able to know that Simba blames himself for his death, and fears confrontation with his past. It is also interesting how just as God is the father of Jesus, and God commanded Jesus to die for his people, Mufasa is the father of Simba, who commands him to take his place in the circle of life, as king, in order to save his people. Throughout the film, Simba tends to be in conflict with the authoritative position Scar has placed himself in.
Although he is not king, and he is not respected by the animals of Pride Rock like Mufasa is, the hyenas respect Scar, as they have begun to follow and support him. In this aspect, Scar has created an authoritative position for himself. He has always been jealous of his brother the ‘king’ and resents Simba for biologically being next in line for the throne. By gaining the respect of the hyenas, Scar is able to lead them. However, this does not satisfy him, as he makes it his own mission to get rid of Mufasa and Simba once and for all. First, Scar encourages Simba to visit the dangerous elephant graveyard. Once Mufasa comes to his rescue, Scar tries a second time by allowing Simba to be chased by the stampede of animals. As Mufasa saves Simba once again, Scar is happy to see that Mufasa is killed in the process. Finally, when Scar makes Simba run away, he sends the hyenas after him knowing that his father won’t be able to come to his rescue for a third …show more content…
time.
According to Baugh, the gospel expresses that “The most dramatic tension is created by the conflict between Jesus and the Jewish religious authorities” (Baugh 1997,207). Baugh further states that from the start of his social life until he is crucified, Jesus was in conflict with the Pharisees who wanted to kill him (Baugh 1997,207). This can be connected to Scar’s evil desire to kill Simba. Just as Jesus was in conflict with the Pharisees for a large portion of his life, Simba was in conflict with Scar for a large portion of his own life, since Scar wanted to kill him ever since he was a cub. It is interesting how although Simba is the son of king Mufasa, Scar seems to have authority over him. This is because Scar is much older than Simba, and takes advantage of the fact that Simba is young and naive, and respects his uncle, as he wouldn’t imagine that Scar would ever cause him any harm. Scar is also much stronger and has an army of hyenas on his side. When Simba grows up and learns that Scar is destroying the kingdom, he returns home to battle Scar. This is interesting because now, it is Scar who is in conflict with Simba, who has come back, and has become incredibly powerful, as he is the son of Mufasa, the true king who gains the respect of the entire kingdom.
In The Lion King, Simba is presented as a Messianic adventure hero. Simba’s heroic journey commences once he is exiled from the Pride Land, and begins a new life with Timon and Pumbaa. One-day, Simba’s childhood friend Nala runs into Simba after many years of being apart. Nala tells Simba that during his absence Scar had, “ Let the Hyenas take over the Pride Land. Everything is destroyed and if you don’t do something soon, everyone will starve” (The Lion King). Nala is desperate for Simba to return home. Initially, Simba does not want to face his past, as he is so used to living a carefree life. However, when he communicates with his father (as previously mentioned) Simba listens to the message Mufasa has given him, to remember who he is.
Simba now acknowledges his responsibilities and decides to return home. Upon his arrival, Simba confronts Scar who has stolen Simba position as King. Simba and Scar engage in a violent battle and with the help of Simba’s friends (Timon, Pumbaa, Nala, and Rafiki), Simba exposes Scars secret of murdering Mufasa to all. He successfully expels Scar, and restores the Pride land to its previous glory. At this point, Simba is announced king in front of the entire kingdom and he is finally able to restore the circle of life, by reclaiming his rightful position as king of Pride Rock.
In his text, Baugh explains that common mediums of Christ figures within cinema are popular adventure films. In these types of films “ The protagonists, in dimensions of their personalities and in aspects of their behavior, reflect elements of the story of Jesus Christ” (Baugh 1997,222). It can be argued that Jesus’s heroic journey began at birth. God chose Jesus as a vessel to live through (similar to how Mufasa lives through Simba). Jesus led a spiritual life, offering himself entirely to God, his father, and he ultimately died to save others, as this was his mission. Simba was born into royalty and he is chosen to rule the kingdom. Just like Jesus’s people needed a savior, Simba’s kingdom also needs to be saved. Simba’s mission is to return home and save his people, just as Jesus died for his. It is also interesting that just like Jesus heroically sacrificed himself for the well being of his people, it could be argued that since Simba didn’t want to return home at first, he scarified his carefree lifestyle, living in a land of paradise, in order to return home to save his kingdom.
Walt Disney’s The Lion King tells a story of great heroism, which demonstrates multiple Christian features that are linked to Lloyd Baugh’s description of Christ as a hero.
This film is filled with multiple hidden messages and acts which reflect the life and journey of Jesus Christ. It is quite interesting to watch and think deeply about the religious connotations of the film, which may be difficult for one to identify if they do not pay close enough attention. The film depicts Simba as a Christ figure, as it applies various Christ images to him. The lion King expresses Simba as a scapegoat, depicts him having followers and suffering, it shows Simba connecting to his father through prayer, experiencing conflict with authority and as an adventure hero. Through The Lion King Simba is presented as a heroic Christ figure that embodies many human attributes as he learns, and grows throughout his life. Simba’s role as Christ is used to justify the films use of violence under the conditions of overthrowing Scar and restoring Pride
Rock.
Work Cited
Baugh, Lloyd. 1997. Imaging the Divine: Jesus and Christ-figures in Film. Kansas City, Sheed & Ward.
Essay Grading Rubric
A: Excellent
B: Good
C: Adequate
D: Marginal
F: Inadequate
Response to Task
Contains all required elements.
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Contains most required elements.
Few errors in formatting.
Few errors in source documentation.
Contains some required elements.
Some errors in formatting.
Some errors in source documentation.
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Many errors in formatting.
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Fundamental errors in formatting.
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Analysis
Insightful, original analysis.
Excellent use/ understanding of secondary source(s).
Essay fully controlled by precise, well-defined thesis.
Strong analysis that often goes beyond obvious or surface meanings. Good use/ understanding of secondary source(s).
Thesis appropriate to the essay, but may lack some precision.
Simple analysis that at times goes beyond obvious or surface meanings.
Use of secondary source(s) adequate in some ways, but not all.
General thesis or controlling idea is evident, but key elements unclear.
Very little analysis.
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Support/
Argument
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Supports some arguments with limited, but adequate evidence and reasoning (essay contains too much description; some arguments unclear or unsupported).
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Structure/ Coherence
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Writing is clear with minor errors.
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Good diction and sentence structure.
Good mechanics and punctuation.
Writing is competent with some errors.
Some biased or colloquial language
Some problems with diction or sentence structure.
Some problems with mechanics and punctuation.
Some major writing errors or numerous minor ones that impede understanding.
Many examples of biased or colloquial language.
Many problems with diction and sentence structure.
Poor mechanics and punctuation.
Major errors that make writing difficult to understand.
Frequent use of inappropriate language.
Serious problems with diction and sentence structure.
Significant problems with mechanics and punctuation.