How Parenting Styles Effect Children

How Parenting Styles Effect Children

Parenting styles are the typical ways in which parents interact with children and have a major impact on a child's attitude, behavior and achievement. There are three types of parenting: Authoritarian, Authoritative and Uninvolved.
Authoritative parents are attentive to their children’s needs and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead of punishing if a child falls short. Parents, who use authoritative style when raising their children, have strong and caring limits for them. This style has many benefits for children. In a study done by European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry in 2012, they found that “children whose parents had an authoritative style of parenting reported the best behavioral and psychological outcomes. Overall, our data supports a negative association between authoritative parenting style and adolescent mood problems.” When an authoritative parent disciplines their child they do it in a way to where the child can learn and can progress independence. For example, parents would say “Please stop jumping on the bed because you might fall and get hurt.” They discipline but are also willing to hear the children’s opinion and have discussions about it. This style of parenting helps children grow up learning how to negotiate, listen to people, be responsible, independent and effectively share their thoughts about different things. These are great skills to learn because they can and will help you in the long run. It’s common for them to have excellent social skills and respect their peers. They also gain a sense of confidence, are optimistic, patient and have a higher self-esteem because of the nurturing and positive environment they grow up in. People, who are excellent at negotiating, are optimistic, fun to be around and who are confident seem to become more successful in the business world. In the short play “Asteroid Belt” written by Lauren Feldman, you get a sense that the parents raised their children, Carly and Ashley using authoritative style parenting. The daughter Carly says “I’m sailing down Sunset Drive, I’m about to take a left into my neighborhood, about to pull into our driveway, check on the mail, drag my feet up the terra-cotta path to the front door, wheedle my key into the hole, and welcome myself back home after a long day and longer night at the theater. I’m about to shed my shirt, peel off my jeans, and craw unwashed, unfed, unclothed, unkempt into my two-foot-high childhood bed that Mom still dresses in a Winnie-the-Pooh bedsheet ensemble. It’s 11:36 P.M., it’s pouring, I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m twenty years old, a college senior home for the summer, an English major, a Shakespeare lover, a nonsmoker but a smirker, an aspiring actor, an aspiring writer, an aspiring wife and mother, a five-foot-four* aspiring adult..” She is a young adult, very young, about to graduate college and is successful and responsible.
Authoritarian style parenting is contrast to authoritative in most ways. Authoritarian parenting deals with low parental responsiveness and high parental demand, the parents tend to demand obedience without explanation and focus on status. Unlike authoritative style, authoritarian style parenting expects orders to be obeyed without an explanation. Their style of discipline is more of a “do as I say because I said so” and they don’t give an explanation. The parents expect their children to follow orders and they can be very demanding and have strict rules. In a study done by Journal of Behavioral Sciences in 2010 found that “Parents who apply this style tend to limit children’s independence and force them to follow strict rules by threatening harsh punishment for violations. They also tend to be less responsive to and accepting of their children. By preventing children from exercising control over their own behaviors and learning from their mistakes, authoritarian parents inadvertently may be rearing children to believe that they are not responsible for what happens to them. Authoritarian parenting style has repeatedly been found correlated with negative self perceptions.” This style of parenting is low in warmth and acceptance. It is known to have a negative impact on children. Children who are raised with authoritarian parents usually lack self-esteem, a little rebellious, are more aggressive outside of the home, are shy however they are usually good at following the rules. In the story “A & P” by John Updike, Sammy, who is a cashier at the local grocery store is usually good at following the rules. Based on his actions in the story, it points to the conclusion that he was raised by authoritarian style parents. He didn’t like something that his boss said to some customers so he rebelled and quit. “’You’ll feel this for the rest of your life,’ Lengel says, and I know that’s true, too, but remembering how he made that pretty girl blush makes me so scrunchy inside..”(Updike 146) After making his exit he looked back inside and saw his boss taking over his spot and said to himself “His face was dark gray and his back stiff, as if he’d just had an injection of iron, and my stomach kind of fell as I felt how hard the world was going to be to me hereafter” (Updike 146). Also, in the short story “How to Talk to Girls at Parties” written by Neil Gaiman, it’s obvious the character Enn was also raised by authoritarian style parents. He is very shy and has low self-esteem. He has trouble picking up girls and even just talking to them. His friend Vic told him “Enn. You got to talk to them. And that means you got to listen to them too. You understand?” (Gaiman 123). Enn just could not get the hang of it. He was socially awkward.
Neglectful parents are lack in warmth and control, are usually not involved in their child's life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. This style, unfortunately is neglectful. Parents usually only provide food and shelter for their children. The parents are usually to self-involved or busy to raise their children. The effects it has on children is they have a sense of loneliness, they feel unimportant to their parents, lack self-control, have a high chance to become addicted to drugs and alcohol, and are defiant to authority figures. In the poem “Suicide Note” by Janice Mirikitani, the college student felt lonely and unimportant. She felt like she couldn’t please her parents. “How many notes written…/ ink smeared like birdprints in snow./ note good enough note pretty enough not smart enough/ dear mother and father. / I apologize / for disappointing you. / I’ve worked very hard, / not good enough / harder, perhaps to please you.” (1-9). In the story “A Good Man Is Hard to Find” written by Mary Flannery O’Connor, the parents are uninvolved with the children. The children are very disrespectful to the parents and grandmother. “’If you don’t want to go to Florida, why dontcha stay at home?’He and the little girl, June Star, were reading the funny papers on the floor. ‘She wouldn’t stay at home to be queen for a day,’ June Star said without raising her yellow head” (O’Connor 257). Then she proceeds to say “’She wouldn’t stay at home for a million bucks,’ June Star said. ‘Afraid she’d miss something. She has to go everywhere we go’” (O’Connor 257).