How To Set Effective Goals

HOW TO SET EFFECTIVE, REALISTIC AND
ACHIEVABLE GOALS THAT SET YOU UP FOR
SUCCESS

SIMON MARYAN, MM, PH.D.

EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
CAUSE & EFFECT
As a coach or a trainer, goal setting is a crucial pert of your job when working with a client. You want to be able to help a client clearly visualise and get a real sense of what it is they want to achieve from working with you. That means you want your clients to be able to see, in their minds eye, what it is they want and to get a real sense of already having reached that goal and be able to tell you how they did by looking back through the journey they have just taken to imagine it.
This may sound a little bizarre and it works. Partly because your client will have got a sense of satisfaction through imaging having already achieved it, and, they will be able to recognise what it is they need to do by imaging looking back for the future and seeing the steps they took to get there. By asking them some searching and key questions you can build on this by finding out how they will know they have reached their goal, what has changed and how is it different.
I really hope you find this free PDF useful for you and your clients and if you have any questions regarding anything in here, please feel free to email me on [e-mail] I wish you all the best in helping your clients achieve their dreams.
Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D.

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
Firstly there are a few things you must take into account with your clients, or yourself if you are using this to set your own goals, which I strongly recommend you do. All this is linked into understanding how we communicate and that includes how we process the information we receive and then how we communicate it back out into the world. Communication is the key element because you need to be able to ask the right questions of your client to get the right information and you need to be able to understand clearly what your client means and what they really want. This involves setting aside your own beliefs about what is right for your client and really listen and put yourself in their shoes, when you do this you will be able to help your client at a much deeper level than you ever have before and they will be eternally grateful.
The next few pages are about taking responsibility for your choices, your behaviour, your goals and your life and remember that you must maintain balance across your own internal system and look at how that affects the people and the world around you. © Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
A COMMUNICATION MODEL

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
OUR FILTERS (1)
We filter information in order to make sense of the vast amount of information we could pay attention to.

Here are some of the main filter mechanisms and

determinants of our experience.

Deletion
Deletion occurs when we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of our experience and not others. We then overlook or omit others. Without deletion, we would be faced with much too much information to handle with our conscious mind.
In fact, you may have even heard that psychologists say that if we were simultaneously aware of all of the sensory information that was coming in, we’d go crazy. Distortion
Distortion occurs when we make shifts in our experience of sensory data by making misrepresentations of reality.

This can involve anything from thinking that we

recognize someone when we in fact don’t, to ‘imagining’ how a room would look if it were decorated differently.

Generalisation
Generalization is where we draw global conclusions based on one or two experiences. At its best, generalization is one of the ways that we learn, by taking the information we have and drawing broad conclusions about the meaning of the effect of those conclusions. At its worst, we can generalize a small number of events and form dis-empowering beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities and life in general.

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
OUR FILTERS (2)
Values
Values are aspects that are important to us.

They are essentially a deep,

unconscious belief system about what’s important and what’s good or bad to us.
Values change with context too. That is, you probably have certain values about what you want in a relationship and what you want in business. Your values about what you want in one and in the other may be quite different.
Also values are an evaluation filter. They are how we decide whether our actions are good or bad, or right or wrong. And they are how we decide about how we feel about our actions. Values are arranged in a hierarchy with the most important one typically being at the top and lesser ones below that.

Beliefs
Beliefs are generalizations about how the world is. Beliefs are the presuppositions that we have about the way the world is, and either empower or dis-empower us..
So, beliefs are essentially our on/off switch for our ability to do anything in the world.
In the process of working with someone’s beliefs, it’s important to elicit or find out what beliefs they have that cause them to do what they do. We also want to find out dis-empowering beliefs, the ones that do not allow them to do what they want to do.

Language
Language describes experiences, they are not the experience itself. Often, people’s language will influence their view of the world, for example bi-lingual people frequently say that they feel and/or behave differently when speaking one language compared to another.

Meta Programmes
These are filters that determine what we do and don’t pay attention to.

Meta

Programmes are like a series of windows through which we operate in life.
© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
CAUSE & EFFECT
To gain maximum power, take responsibility for everything that happens in your world.

C > E
RESULTS

REASONS &
EXCUSES &
JUSTIFICATIONS

Which side of the cause-and-effect equation are you on? Are you At Cause in your life, or are you At
Effect of things in your life?

Be At Cause for empowerment and for changing behaviour.
How RESPONSIBLE are you for your life/

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION

The Mind and Body are the Same System.

Every Cell is Eavesdropping on Your Internal Dialogue.
Deepak Chopra

Neuron A

Neuro Transmitters

Neuron B
Electrical Signal
Going Across the
Synapse

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
NEUROLOGICAL CONNECTIONS

There are:

(10 10)11

Neurological connections in your body. That’s the number 1 with 10 zeros after it, written eleven times!

100,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000!

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
OUTCOMES
The term ‘outcome’ is often used to denote our desired goal or objective. It is a fundamental aspect of coaching and training, coaching is about helping clients achieve more of what they want and less of what they don’t want.
Being able to set ‘well-formed’ goals or outcomes is essential to the work we do as coaches and trainers, and also to our own ability to achieve.

By setting an outcome, we become aware of the difference between what we have currently and what we want instead. By filtering one’s thinking toward what we want to achieve, we pay attention to the opportunities that will assist us in achieving our desired outcome.
Why Set Well-formed Goals/Outcomes:
♦ In setting outcomes and having an Outcome Orientation, we create a direction and purpose in life by which we can “programme” ourselves to consistently achieve what we want.

By achieving our outcomes and

continually reviewing and setting new outcomes, short and long term, we create the success we desire and deserve in all aspects of our life.
♦ If we know what we want, we are more likely to be able to achieve it!
♦ If we know what we want, we can assess whether we are on track, and take necessary action if we are not. This is the way The Principles for Success’ operate. ♦ By setting well-formed goals/outcomes, we will be more likely to achieve them. ♦ Successful people tend to set well-formed goals.

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
OUTCOMES & ECOLOGY
In setting outcomes, we need to consider very carefully the consequences of achieving that outcome. Ecology is the study of consequences; of considering how any change you make impacts on the wider system of which you are a part. Ecology is having an awareness of the overall system and an Ecology Check is tracking the consequences of the change made in all aspects of that system.
An ecology check on any outcome that we set assists us to recognise the impact of that change in all systems of which we are a part, ranging from people very close to us all the way to society and the planet generally.

The Planet or
You

Society generally

People very close to you

As a coach or trainer using the well-formed outcomes for effective goal setting, we work with others to assist them to make changes that are congruently desirable in all aspect of their life.

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
USING GOAL SETTING ECOLOGICALLY
There are several ways to facilitate you to work in an ecological way, a way that is appropriate for the client, other people in their life and for you. Here are some of the ways to do this:
♦ Asking the ecology/secondary gain questions from Question 9 from ‘Keys to
Achievable Outcomes’
♦ Test and future pace your interventions (get client to imagine having already made the change and sense how it feels and if anything is missing or needs to be changed)
♦ Considering the situation from all three perspectives and considering the
Logical Levels Model
♦ How does the intervention fit with your own personal ecology?
♦ Read clients body language to notice any non-verbal signals suggesting that the client is not 100% congruent about making the changes

Pre-Intervention Questions
In addition, there are some useful questions to ask before doing any intervention:
1. Where are you now (x/10)?
2. Where would you like to be (y/10)?
3. How would you know when you were there (in 10-20 minutes at the end of the intervention)? 4. What are the consequences:
-negative (if any)? (if so, address them before doing the interventions)
-positive?
Or, you could ask the four questions from point 9 of the ‘Keys to an Achievable
Outcome’ (Chapter 5)
5. On a scale of zero to 100, how OK is it for you to make this change now?

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
NB. If it is not 100%, find out what is missing. Interventions work best when the client is 100% willing to do it. It is strongly recommended never to proceed unless the client is 100% willing.

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
THE PRINCIPLES FOR SUCCESS
The following model is useful in a wide variety of contexts. It is hard to imagine a situation when it would not be a useful model for enhancing the chances of success.
1.

Know Your Outcome. If you can define your outcome appropriately, then the outcome will be more achievable. Don’t start anything without knowing your outcome in advance.

2.

Use Your Sensory Acuity. See and sense what is going on in your life as you proceed to your goal. What new things are you noticing in yourself?
What new things are you noticing in others? Seek and take feedback.

3.

Have Behavioural Flexibility. Be willing to do whatever it takes (ecology!) to achieve success. With enough rapport and enough behavioural flexibility, you can greatly increase your chances of achieve your goals.

4.

Build and Maintain Rapport. Create a climate of trust and co-operation.

5.

Operate From a Physiology and Psychology of Excellence. Operate from a totally resourceful state. Do things that will empower you.

6.

Take Action. Without action there are no results

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
STATE -VS- GOAL
It is useful to distinguish between goals/outcomes on one hand, and ‘values’ or states’ on the other. This is because some people have what they think are goals, yet they are really states (e.g. confidence) or values (e.g. fulfilment). It is fine to include values or states in the goals/outcomes, and it important to ensure that they actually are goals/outcomes.
Here are some indications of the differences between the two.

VALUE OR STATE

GOAL OR OUTCOME

(Confidence)

(£1m/be married/weigh 70 kg)

Stated Ambiguously

Stated Specifically

Write Affirmations

Write Goals/Outcomes

You Can Have It Now

Time Is Involved

No Steps

Steps Needed To Get There

Infinite

Measurable

Often Stated For Self and/or Others

Often Stated For Self Only

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
SETTING GOALS/OUTCOMES
Nowhere is goal setting more embraced than in sport. The field of sport psychology offers some useful distinctions around goals setting. There are three main types of goals in sport psychology.
♦ Outcome goals: These are the big picture goals such as ‘winning the county
400m hurdles’, or in the workplace ‘getting my company to become a FTSE
100 company’.
♦ Performance goals: These are the performance we would need to achieve to give us the best chance of achieving the outcome goal, for example ‘running
400m hurdles in less than one minute’, or ‘generating pre-tax profits of £200 million’. It is useful to set performance goals because sometimes there are factors outside our control, such as the performance of other runners or other companies, which can impact on the achievement of the outcome goal
♦ Process goals: These are the specific tasks that would need to be done to achieve the performance goals. Examples could be ‘running 400 metres in less than one minute, ten times per week’, or ‘winning three new customers a month and creating one new product each quarter’.
Depending on the goal, the distinctions between performance and process goals can be blurred. Generally outcome goals are more compelling than performance and process goals, which can be seen as milestones along the way. When setting goals, and helping others to do the same, it is useful to be aware of what type of goal is being set.
The following three pages provide three different yet complementary method to set goals/outcomes. In practice, choose the one that is most convenient.
Top Tip
When setting goals, it is often useful to set a goal that pre-supposes the achievement of the initially-stated goal. For example, some people have a goal to set up their own business. Whilst this may be desirable for some people, an even more effective goal would be to have run a business for a period of time (perhaps one year) and for the business to have made a stated amount of money etc.

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
KEYS TO AN ACHIEVABLE OUTCOME
These are a series of questions to ask when setting goals, to help formulate the goal. Sometimes just asking these questions can help clarify the goal, and increase motivation or lead you to re-assess the goal.
1.

Stated in the positive.
What specifically do you want?

2.

Specify present situation.
Where are you now?
(Associated)

3.

Specify outcome.
What will you see, hear, feel, etc., when you have it?
♦
As if now.
♦
Make compelling

4.

Specify evidence procedure.
How will you know when you have it?

5.

Is it congruently desirable?
What will this outcome get for you or allow you to do?

6.

Is it self-initiated and self-maintained?
Is it only for you? Can you initiate/maintain the achievement/progress?

7.

Is it appropriately contextualized?
Where, when, how, and with whom do you want it?

8.

What resources are needed?
What do you have now, and what do you need to get your outcome?
♦
Have you ever had or done this before?
♦
Do you know anyone who has?
♦
Can you act as if you have it?

9.

Is it ecological?
♦
For what purpose do you want this?
♦
What will you gain or lose if you have it?
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
♦
What will happen if you get it?
♦
What will happen if you don’t get it?
♦
What won’t happen if you get it?
♦
What won’t happen if you don’t get it?

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
WELL FORMEDNESS CONDITIONS FOR
OUTCOMES AND GOALS
These are a series of conditions to be met for a goal to be ‘well-formed’. They link to the ‘Keys to Achievable Outcome’ questions.
1.

Stated in positive terms.

2.

Initiated and maintained by client.

3.

Specific, sensory-based description of the outcome/goal including the date/time (and possibly the steps necessary to get there).

4.

Ecological

5.

More than one way to get the outcome or achieve the goal.

6.

First step to be taken is specified and achievable.

7.

Does the outcome/goal increase choice?

8.

Keeps the positive by-products of the present situation

9.

Achievable & realistic

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
S.M.A.R.T. OUTCOMES
SMART goals/outcomes are another way of setting a ‘well-formed goal’. Some people are used to the SMART principles, and feel happier using this mnemonic.
Please note that there are many more distinctions shown below than in most work-place SMART goals.

S
M
A
R
T

Short
Specific
Simple
Measurable
Meaningful to you
More than one way to achieve it
As if now, in present tense
Achievable
All areas of your life
Realistic
Responsible / Ecological
Right for you
Timed
Toward What You Want, Positive
(no negations & no comparatives)

© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING
EXAMPLES OF WELL-FORMED OR SMART
GOALS
♦ ‘It is 31 December 20XX and I have £1 million of my own money in my bank account. I drive a car worth more than £20,000 that I am happy with, and I am happily married to a partner I adore and who adores me’
♦ ‘It is 31 December 20XX and I own a 4 bedroomed house with a ½ acre garden and a garage, within 20 minute drive of my office in Wembley’
♦ ‘It is 30 September 20XX and I weigh 70 kg. I feel fit, strong and healthy, and have exercised for more than 1 hour at a time, more than 3 times per week for the past 6 months’
♦ ‘It is 31 August 20XX and I am a qualified nurse’

Say It the Way You Want It
The way you state a goal does make a difference. Researchers in the mid- to late-70’s discovered that a goal which is positively stated is more likely to be accomplished than one that is negatively stated.
In addition, the numerous books on the subject of ‘The Law of Attraction’ (for example ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, ’Ask and It Is Given’ by Esther and Jerry
Hicks) emphasize the importance of thinking about what we do want
So . . .

SAY IT
THE WAY
YOU WANT IT!
© Simon Maryan MM, Ph.D. 2013

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SUMMARY
Now that you have read this all the way through, I recommend that you go through all the goal setting exercises for yourself so that you know exactly how it works when you use it with your clients. You want to be confident and lead them through experience which is all part of being congruent and having and showing belief that this will work for them, because it’s already worked for you. ‘Walk the Talk’ as the saying goes
I really wish you all the best for you and your clients and I really believe that you will find that this can and will make a huge difference to how you work with your clients and will bring you more personal success as well.