Student name: XXXXXXXStudent number XXXXXXX|Commentary to assist you to write a good essay plan.|
Essay Title: More male teachers are needed in New Zealand schools.|This is a strong statement, which describes the essay and puts forward a point of view.The headings Introduction, Body and Conclusion will NOT appear on your final essay. Use them for the plan only.|
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IntroductionIn this essay I will discuss some of the reasons why males choose not to enter teaching as a career, the impact this has on both male and female students and whether the concerns are valid. Finally, I will discuss what can be done to overcome the shortage of male teachers. |Notice that four points are made here. All four points relate back to the title. (If a point does not relate to the title, you need to question whether the title should be changed or whether this point should be in the essay.)|
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Body Initially, the historical changes that have occurred in employment of men and women in schools and the cultural changes that have led to men opting out of teaching will be discussed. These include such things as equal opportunities for married women teachers, lack of relativity in pay scales with other professions, lack of status for teachers, workload issues and sexual harassment charges. |First point is introduced and expanded upon.Objective language such as “will be discussed” is used in preference to “I will discuss”.|
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The need for male role models for boys, especially those who do not have strong role models in their homes, is well documented (Hetzner, 2003). However, this can present a problem at primary level, as “It is quite possible that a sensitive, nurturing man could be perceived by others, most notably parents, as providing a role model that is inappropriate for young boys” (King, 1998, p.5).|Second point is introduced and shows how references will be used.An example of using a quotation is given. This is optional in