Hurt the Ones We Love

Hurt Less; Love More (Love Guide for Dummies)
If love hurts, why do people still fall in love? Eight years ago today, I saw him; There he stood, a tall, dark, and mysterious man. I had never felt so treasured, cared for, sexy, and adored, all at one time. Dreams really do come true. I found my Prince Charming, and he will whisk me away on his noble steed. I truthfully believed my Black Prince had come to save me so that I would live in love forever. What is forever? Well, obviously, love is not in the equation for me.
That relationship forced me to take a long, deep look at myself. Why do I love so eagerly? We crave love, “but it can be part of believing in it, and relying on ourselves for protection” (Hasselstrom 359). I craved hearing the words I love you, although; I knew the meaning behind the words was empty. Love; what does it mean and why do we tend to hurt the ones that we say that we love? Time has passed, though; it did not heal my wounds, but what I did with my time helped me comprehend the pain.
The absence of mutual love really hurts. A decisions’ made to become someone’s friend; I chose to fall in love. It seems as if it just sneaks upon you. Love should be a mutual bond between two people and when we grow up, and start to date, we discover a very interesting phenomenon: when we fall in love, we receive a lot of energy: attention, interest, time, love etc.) for free. It’s a good feeling to get a constant reminder that your sweetheart loves you and we cannot really get too much of a confirmation about their feelings for us. Nevertheless, saying and hearing 'I love you ' too often, may lose its meaning, as it becomes a meager habit. Have you ever dated a person and they become becomes magically in love after two weeks? It is more important to back up what we say with the tangible gestures and behaviors that illustrate to our partner we love them; rather than keep chanting the words instinctively. The picture illustrates this: you love each other, but cannot manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect oneself against a new love attack. And in spite of that...you love each other, Right? How is this possible? Why do people hurt the one they love the most?
Why do so many men and women have a hard time expressing their love? I would bet that we’re full of good intentions, but when it comes to reality we find ourselves once again shouting, cursing and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again. I have to ask, are you the innocent party? Do you feel this lashing out could all point directly at you? When you’re young, did your mother ever tell you, don’t give up your body so easily. She did so because when you give someone something so precious, it’s like giving them a piece of who you are: your energy, I admit it we all need it. We feed off of it. We need love to live and to survive and we can get it in so many forms. Throughout the day you and your special someone consistently feed off one another, you give him love, sex, touching, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, and recognition. This is great, as long as it is a two way street? Before my mom passed away, she said to me, in a way only mothers could speak, “Darling, while you have constantly consumed yourself with loving him, who’s loving you? Certainly not meant as advice, but truly food for thought. Of course, each one of us is responsible for our own actions. We should decide when to love, who to love, and how to love, but truelove just does not work that way. Meanwhile, I know you want to feel good, but you have to build up yourself and find your place. If you continue on searching for love through the eyes of someone else, you will lose yourself forever. I have to admit, I have always thought that you had to fight for love, but I personally don’t believe there’s enough of it. Not if you look for it to come from one source. If you are still eager to find love or if love has found you, let me give you some pointers to follow, so when the love bug bites you, you will know what to do with it.
Spend quality time together. Do not limit yourselves to only bedroom activities. Venture out; be spontaneous, creative, and have an assortment of outdoor fun; for example: plan to watch a good movie, travel on weekends, and have a nice dinner in your favorite restaurants, and fellowship together. I know personally, if a man desires to take me to church, that’s a great start!
Make sound decisions. Remember that, love doesn’t hurt, people hurt. Don’t push love away if it’s shining down upon you. Welcome it slowly, allow yourself to accept love, and for goodness sake don’t use it to ignite pain.

Works Cited
Hasselstrom, Linda “A peaceful Woman Explains Why She Carries a gun”. Patterns for College, 11th Edition. Kirszner, Laurie and Mandell, Stephen, eds. Bedford/ 2010.97-100.

Cited: Hasselstrom, Linda “A peaceful Woman Explains Why She Carries a gun”. Patterns for College, 11th Edition. Kirszner, Laurie and Mandell, Stephen, eds. Bedford/ 2010.97-100.