Identity In Boys And Girls By Alice Munro

The lens in which loved ones view a person dictates their journey on the path to self-discovery. This social influence on a person’s sense of self is exemplified through the short story “Boys and Girls” by Alice Munro. “Boys and Girls,” tells the tale of the pressures placed on a young lady to conform to society's idea of the perfect woman. It showcases how the expectations and ideals of loved ones can negatively influence a person’s identity. Those seen as important to someone can affect self-perception through the reinforcement of opposing ideas, infusion of negativity, and the weakening of others individuality. One’s view of themselves can only be influenced by those they allow. A person’s reflection in the eyes of those they love is the
However, this guidance begins to take a menacing turn when a parent’s helping hand is used to bring their children down rather than lifting them up. This degradation is a reality for the main character in “Boys and Girls”, as for the majority of the story, she is undermined and overlooked by the people she loved and respected. The girl's mother initializes this depreciation through her statement saying, “wait till Laird gets a little bigger, then you'll have a real help."(page 4) This seemingly innocent comment shrinks the character’s sacrifices for her family’s business to something trivial and immaterial. Her mother’s hushed remarks on her daughter significantly affect herself as she is suddenly exposed to a world of clearly defined gender roles where she cannot participate in the “masculine” activities she loves because she is not a boy. She begins to view herself as insignificant and worthless because of the way she is seen by her mother based solely on her being female. The girl’s mother is not the only person to minimize the girl’s self-worth, but their family friend Henry Bailey plays a significant role. Mr Bailey is described as being practically a part of the household and always present at their home. Her respect for Mr Bailey is best illustrated on page 1 where the girl explains that she “admired him for his performance and for his ability to make his stomach growl at will, and for his laughter, which was full of high whistlings and gurglings”. The author offers such a precise description of her liking to Mr Bailey to emphasize the contrast between how the girl viewed her relationship with the family friend. Although she had suspicions that Mr Bailey’s laughter could be directed at her family, she never imagined that her participation in the male-driven family business would be something to mock. His perception of her is exemplified through his statement made during