If I Knew Then, What I Know Now

I am a thirty three year old teen mother. Sixteen years ago, at the age of 17, I became pregnant with a child that would eventually dictate, run, and be the deciding factor of who I would become. Well, let’s be honest, still defining who I will be. Today, I feel the effects of how a teenage pregnancy, now glorified by reality TV, has truly impacted my life now as an adult. How did this happen? At seventeen I entered my junior year of high school with a plan, I would graduate early, midyear at seventeen and head off to Kent State University, where only a select few, yes I was one of them, would be omitted into the architectural program. My father had always wanted to be an architect, but a civil war and its effects took a toll on my grandparent’s lives leaving my father responsible to help contribute to the family of six at an early age, so off into the work force he went, but he never let me forget that was his dream. So as a young girl I had a talent for drafting, drawing, and really enjoyed architecture as a focus in high school. My father couldn’t have been prouder. So as a Sophomore I made the decision to move on from high school as fast as I could and get into a really mature grown up life by graduating early, as a junior, and being accepted into a prestigious program with Kent State. My father was proud! I remember the day I had to tell my parents I was pregnant and at seventeen, I would still graduate early and possibly still go onto Kent for my program, but they knew different. I saw the disappointment in their eyes and their tone. My father although disappointed was there to help me how ever I saw fit. So at seventeen I graduated with honors in January, gave birth in March and instead of entering Kent State University in August, I got married to the father of my daughter. What a mistake. Five months later, devastated by deceit and lack of involvement I left my husband and moved back into my parent’s home. I decided I had to get back on track and