Illegal, By Jose Olivarez

Being in a room of people, I sometimes feel like fish out of water. Although the people around me may think I’m not as different, it’s probably because I have learned to hide it throughout the years. Maybe that is why I relate to the poem, “(Citizen) (Illegal)” by Jose Olivarez so much. I perceive the poem so much differently than when I first read it because I realized how much I relate to it and how it sort of lightly reflects my life and my perception of myself. Some of my most prominent childhood memories are only shared by those of my same culture and when my friends who grew up in the USA started talking about going trick or treating at five years old in a dark, cold neighborhood infested with scary decorations I can only remember moving from Cuba to Brazil at five
Being in the U.S. didn’t stop me from still needing to go back to my home country. I always felt bad because everyone had plans over the summer to hang out with friends while I would spend most of my summers visiting Cuba and bringing clothes, toys, food, etc. to my family as over the years it has gotten harder and harder to get even decent things in that country. I was always reppin’ the American flag all over my clothes to let people know I was a citizen, but I never really felt connected to the kids in Cuba either, I only saw them for 1-2 months each year and each time something huge would change. The conversations and activities also sometimes felt like I was leading them due to me being older than most of the girls and probably the opportunity to get some clothes that were too small or big on me after I left. That’s another way I felt connected and related to the poem “(Citizen) (Illegal)” by Jose Olivarez, where he speaks about his experience with immigrant parents and growing up around their culture in the United States. I saw myself reflecting because I always felt too much of the other side when around the