Impact Of Couples Therapy On Interpersonal Communication
Couples Therapy on Interpersonal Communication
Jane Doe
Interpersonal Communication COM 200
John Smith
August 20, 2012
Couples Therapy on Interpersonal Communication
400 North Bluff Blvd.
Clinton, IA 52732
August 20, 2012
Homer and Margery Simpson
742 Evergreen Terrace Lane
Springfield, IL 62701
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
I want to thank you for coming to our facility and inquiring about our couples therapy program. I am sure that both of you will learn an abundant of information from this five week session of all interpersonal communication; so that you both can build a solid foundation with in your marriage as well as your communication with your children. There are couples that may not notice …show more content…
but there is a lot more than just going to the movies or deciding what restaurant to eat. Communication is the foundation to any relationship weather it be intimate or friendly. With our Interpersonal Communication Program, it can guide couples newly weds or married, exactly what component is missing in order to have a stable and healthy relationship. As we have discussed, that there are five key elements to help create a stronger relationship within your marriage using our Interpersonal Communication Program. Even though self-concept, defensive and supportive messages as well as behavior, can create positive and negative communication climates to a relationship. An important factor in communication is expressing self-disclosure; it can manage the couple’s relationship and their interactions with each other. Most couples have miscommunication issues due to lack of communication. In order to help their relationship in a healthy way, couples must express themselves through emotional intelligence, verbal and non-verbal communication, attitude, behavior and perception.
You both came in my office as an individual private consultation because Mrs. Simpson had contacted me regarding her concern about a neglecting issue within your marriage. As Mrs. Simpson discussed, that you Mr. Simpson work a full time job at the Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk power plant. That there are times that your boss, Mr. Burns would ask you to do special projects that involved having to work long hours and that the family barely see you come home. I am sure that this is a lot of stress for your wife Marge as she is currently a house wife, and has been planning to tell you that she want to pursue a career on the side. I understand that this could lead to some pressure to you Homer that you would have to configure each other’s schedule and this might be a problem with your current position with the power plant. This issue concerns both of your emotional intelligence when it comes to decision-making. Both of you need to know how to use your emotions properly in the relationship so you both do not upset each other. I want to share this article with both of you; it is about how couples can control each other’s emotions. “Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships.” Author Blume illustrates how couples control each other’s emotions through the brain with the use of Pragmatic Experiential Therapy for Couples (PET-C). I know that you are concerned Mr. Simpson, and I can assure you that this would not effect your behavior at work. Therefore, there is no need to worry. I can suggest that you both try this experiment, as it is optional in the program. The article states that, “Couples as extremely active at an emotional level, each partner shifting in and out of seven different emotional states that create confusion as they alter reality.” (Blume, 2006) I certainly believe that this will be a good starting point in finding out about how you both can control your emotions for each other using PET-C. You asked what PET-C is, “Pragmatic-Experiential Therapy for Couple starts with the pragmatic; it is assumed that partners can learn about relationship habits that predict success, and they are taught skills to help them reproduce those habits with each other.” (Blume, 2006) Yes, this is something new we have obtained in the facility and it would be best if you both try it. Homer, you asked how could PET-C help you both with your emotional intelligence. With the PET-C it determines what type of relationship you both may have, your habits and how both of you can predict success. Both of you are taught skills that can enhance the performance in your relationship. It only makes sense that you both and any other couples act upon communication using emotions for each other. Study shows that the emotional brain is the one that controls how the couples should feel for each other. Although the PET-C assessment may help you both determine your relationship in the emotional level. It is not dependable in the end and that you both need to understand how to control your emotions by communication about the problems.
As much as it is important to control the emotional brain, couples also need to recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception. I assume that you both rarely communicate because of the schedule conflict you both have at home. Surely your kids also see this and are curious is to why their father is barely home and why there is not that much family time as there was before. It is important to know the basic principles of human communication before you start to build a relationship with others. In the pamphlet, that I have given you it gives you an insight of what human communication is, how we use it everyday and other people’s perception with our attitude and behaviors. Incase your wondering where I am coming from, “Communication as a process by which we share ideas or information with other people. Characteristics of voice communicate messages, and we communicate, as well, with eyes, facial expressions, hand gestures, body position, and movement.” (Sole, 2011) Marge, surely you have expressed this many times with your children and your children are aware of their behavior because they know that you will discipline them. “One of the most obvious benefits of human communication is that it allows people to share thoughts, feelings, experiences, and views of the world.” (Sole, 2011) You are curious is to why are the basic principles of human communication important? Simple, communication will guide us to how we can build a relationship with other people. Knowing the basics can help determine how well we connect with other people. With communication, it allows people to share their insights of themselves and learn about the other person. With the learning the basics of human communication, it will guide those who are not used to communicating with others. Their words will affect their character by attitude, behavior, and their perception. Marge, as you do gardening outside the lawn try waving to your neighbors when you see them this is a sample of basic communication. You are not actually having a conversation with them, but just a simple “wave” your actions tells that person that you are showing positive communication by waving. Homer, you try it too. You said you wear a chemical proof suit when you are working with nuclear chemicals, how do you communication with your co-workers, using hand gestures and sign language? However, you display your communication without actually having a conversation but simple hand gestures is also basic communication.
Having knowledge of the basics is just first hand into communication; understanding how perceptions, emotions, and non-verbal expressions affect interpersonal relationships is an important factor in a couple’s relationship.
It is important that you both can sense each other’s moves, almost as if it is a mutual understanding. The perceptions on how one may react to something that is non-verbal can affect your relationship not only to each other but to your children as well, if you do not carefully communicate with each other. Let us just shy away from the topic of you two for a second and let us talk about your children. “Nonverbal communication is defined as communication of message without words, which means that it encompasses a wide range of vocal and visual signs of behaviors.” (Sole, 2011) Non-verbal communication is important to all ages, but especially so when interacting with your children. Take Maggie, your youngest daughter for example. A toddler or an infant may not have well-developed verbal skills as yet; nevertheless, they do listen to your tone of voice and watch your facial expressions and body language as you talk to them. Soon Maggie will recognize and read your feelings through nonverbal communication. This is the essential first step of communication that she learns from you both as parents being around her. It goes the same way for Bart and Lisa, although they are no longer in their young stage it is more work to understand that they are reaching …show more content…
their teenage phase. “People vary in their ability to send and receive nonverbal communication, and difficulty in understanding or interpreting nonverbal messages can be a serious handicap in interpersonal communication.” (Sole, 2011) You both wonder why it is important to use nonverbal communication thoroughly. Nonverbal communication is as simple as using gestures with hands as I mentioned before by greeting your neighbors or communicating with co-workers. It is important that you both understand nonverbal communication to avoid conflict. Some may have difficulty expressing them, like Maggie so they use nonverbal communication. It is important that you both analyze your nonverbal communication so that the other person does not get the wrong perception and it could affect interpersonal behavior in couples as well as your children.
Besides nonverbal communication, you both need to recognize how self-concept, defensive and supportive messages, and behaviors create a positive and negative communication climates. Before we can truly change our relationships, we must first look deeply at ourselves, what beliefs we cling to, what decisions we may have made long ago that may be at the root of our relationship problem or that are preventing us from experiencing our full range of emotion. Self-concept is how one would present themselves to others; it could be a positive or a negative effect. “Self-concept can be defined as an appraisal of your own attributes and competencies.” (Sole, 2011) Marge, as females our culture vulnerability is associated with femininity, in refusing to ever appear vulnerable, you had given up many pleasures of being a woman. Every person, to have balanced relationships, must be able to sometimes be vulnerable and sometimes be strong. “Throughout life, you have an infinite number of opportunities to express yourself and to interact with people. These people may express opinions about your behavior by smiling or frowning at you or by making verbal judgments about your behavior or appearance.” (Sole, 2011) Self-concept is important for a couple’s relationship. Who says a man cannot be vulnerable or sensitive? Who says a man cannot cry? Who says a career woman with a family cannot also be fun loving and carefree? A sensitive man can be strong. A woman can be sexy and feminine and stay in control. When couples communicate, they learn about each other through self-concept. Self-concept is how you may present yourself to each other, who or they are and your attributes. While you both get to know each other, in the beginning you get to know each other through self-concept. Your behaviors can send defensive and supportive messages towards each other, which can result to positive and negative communication climates. Which brings to if both of you are too self involve, it could generate a negative message of being selfish. Alternatively, can be a pet peeve if Homer for example dislikes your personality Marge. The importance of self-concept is how both of you attract each other and what qualities you both bring to the table. The fears that caused us to limit our full range of feelings might have been useful in the past, but may well be obsolete and wreaking havoc in our important relationships.
In this program, each couple learns about others self-concept, however, to avoid a rocky relationship couples must share some self-disclosure. They also need to evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships. This is why I advise you both to continue with the five-week program here in our facility. This program is not only for newly wed couples, it is also designed to help distress married couples repair their relationship to where it was. I know that it may not be the honeymoon stage but surely, with this program can help you bring each other back to what it used to be and that is recognizing the quality of communication. “Quality communication is defined somewhat differently from study to study, but research consistently has shown a link between happy marriages and “self-disclosure,” or sharing your private feelings, fears, doubts, and perceptions with your partner.” (Schoenberg, 2011) In the brochure that I have provided, we have a ten-minute session with the couples. We took in consideration of the article, which is also in the pamphlet called, “Can we talk? Researcher talks about the communication in happy marriages.” The author discuss that even having ten minutes a day to talk can bring a couple closer together and could build on their marriage. In the ten-minute session, we have the couples set up to have at least ten minutes of conversation. It does not have to be difficult or subjective just something simple as to “How is your day?” On the other hand, in your case talk about the progress Maggie has made, how successful Lisa had advance to Jazz Band, and maybe even how Bart did not have to see Principal Skinner today. Regardless of any type couple self-disclosure and affective affirmation is important to avoid separation or possibly divorce. Ten minutes a day is ideal for couples to communicate than no communication at all.
Concisely, should couples need to help understand how to have a strong relationship, they would need to learn about themselves before they seek other people.
You both need to understand that there is more to just being in a relationship or being married with each other and that communication is the benefactor to a healthy relationship. Five key elements that we have talked about will help build a strong foundation for both of you using the Interpersonal Communication Program. In order to help the relationship in a healthy way, both of you must express each other through emotional intelligence verbal and nonverbal communication, attitude, behavior, and perception. Even though self-concept, defensive, supportive messages, and behaviors create positive and negative communication climates to a relationship. Interpersonal communication could bring you both closer together especially by expressing self-disclosure, it can improve both of your relationship and your interactions with each other. It is understandable that any couples go through a rocky phase, and our Interpersonal Communication Program can be a change of effect on how couples like you Mr. and Mrs. Simpson understand each other and avoid conflict that can ruin a relationship and in your case your marriage. Successful communication is a not a synonym for agreement. Your ability to exchange your thoughts and feelings clearly with your spouse does not imply your agreement. There may be stress from a job outside the
house and from household task. Successful communication helps each person release stress, and supports each partner by acknowledging both parties’ contributions to the newly formed nuclear family. An obvious example is Homer, working hard to support the family and you Marge taking care of the children. You both need to communicate clearly about each other’s jobs and responsibilities, so there will not be any confusion or negligence. Effective communication is an excellent tool for new and experienced parents to use, share their feelings, and to express their appreciation to each other.
I am looking forward and hope to see you both in the future, and to fully complete the program. I anticipate that this will help you decide together if this is the next step to rebuild your relationship and your family. Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,
Dr. Jane Doe
Ashford Psychology Research Center and Facility
Reference
Blume, T. (2006). Emotional intelligence in couples therapy: Advances from neurobiology and the science of intimate relationships. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 32(3), 401-401.
Cloud, H. & Townsend, J. (2005). Rescue Your Love Life. Nashville, Tennessee: Integrity Publishers.
Madanes, C. (2009). Relationship Breakthrough: How to create outstanding relationships in every area of your life. New York, New York: Rodale Inc.
Schoenberg, N. (2011, January 17). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in happy marriages. McClatchy-Tribune News Service.
Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA
Jane Doe
Interpersonal Communication COM 200
John Smith
August 20, 2012
Couples Therapy on Interpersonal Communication
400 North Bluff Blvd.
Clinton, IA 52732
August 20, 2012
Homer and Margery Simpson
742 Evergreen Terrace Lane
Springfield, IL 62701
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
I want to thank you for coming to our facility and inquiring about our couples therapy program. I am sure that both of you will learn an abundant of information from this five week session of all interpersonal communication; so that you both can build a solid foundation with in your marriage as well as your communication with your children. There are couples that may not notice …show more content…
but there is a lot more than just going to the movies or deciding what restaurant to eat. Communication is the foundation to any relationship weather it be intimate or friendly. With our Interpersonal Communication Program, it can guide couples newly weds or married, exactly what component is missing in order to have a stable and healthy relationship. As we have discussed, that there are five key elements to help create a stronger relationship within your marriage using our Interpersonal Communication Program. Even though self-concept, defensive and supportive messages as well as behavior, can create positive and negative communication climates to a relationship. An important factor in communication is expressing self-disclosure; it can manage the couple’s relationship and their interactions with each other. Most couples have miscommunication issues due to lack of communication. In order to help their relationship in a healthy way, couples must express themselves through emotional intelligence, verbal and non-verbal communication, attitude, behavior and perception.
You both came in my office as an individual private consultation because Mrs. Simpson had contacted me regarding her concern about a neglecting issue within your marriage. As Mrs. Simpson discussed, that you Mr. Simpson work a full time job at the Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk power plant. That there are times that your boss, Mr. Burns would ask you to do special projects that involved having to work long hours and that the family barely see you come home. I am sure that this is a lot of stress for your wife Marge as she is currently a house wife, and has been planning to tell you that she want to pursue a career on the side. I understand that this could lead to some pressure to you Homer that you would have to configure each other’s schedule and this might be a problem with your current position with the power plant. This issue concerns both of your emotional intelligence when it comes to decision-making. Both of you need to know how to use your emotions properly in the relationship so you both do not upset each other. I want to share this article with both of you; it is about how couples can control each other’s emotions. “Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships.” Author Blume illustrates how couples control each other’s emotions through the brain with the use of Pragmatic Experiential Therapy for Couples (PET-C). I know that you are concerned Mr. Simpson, and I can assure you that this would not effect your behavior at work. Therefore, there is no need to worry. I can suggest that you both try this experiment, as it is optional in the program. The article states that, “Couples as extremely active at an emotional level, each partner shifting in and out of seven different emotional states that create confusion as they alter reality.” (Blume, 2006) I certainly believe that this will be a good starting point in finding out about how you both can control your emotions for each other using PET-C. You asked what PET-C is, “Pragmatic-Experiential Therapy for Couple starts with the pragmatic; it is assumed that partners can learn about relationship habits that predict success, and they are taught skills to help them reproduce those habits with each other.” (Blume, 2006) Yes, this is something new we have obtained in the facility and it would be best if you both try it. Homer, you asked how could PET-C help you both with your emotional intelligence. With the PET-C it determines what type of relationship you both may have, your habits and how both of you can predict success. Both of you are taught skills that can enhance the performance in your relationship. It only makes sense that you both and any other couples act upon communication using emotions for each other. Study shows that the emotional brain is the one that controls how the couples should feel for each other. Although the PET-C assessment may help you both determine your relationship in the emotional level. It is not dependable in the end and that you both need to understand how to control your emotions by communication about the problems.
As much as it is important to control the emotional brain, couples also need to recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception. I assume that you both rarely communicate because of the schedule conflict you both have at home. Surely your kids also see this and are curious is to why their father is barely home and why there is not that much family time as there was before. It is important to know the basic principles of human communication before you start to build a relationship with others. In the pamphlet, that I have given you it gives you an insight of what human communication is, how we use it everyday and other people’s perception with our attitude and behaviors. Incase your wondering where I am coming from, “Communication as a process by which we share ideas or information with other people. Characteristics of voice communicate messages, and we communicate, as well, with eyes, facial expressions, hand gestures, body position, and movement.” (Sole, 2011) Marge, surely you have expressed this many times with your children and your children are aware of their behavior because they know that you will discipline them. “One of the most obvious benefits of human communication is that it allows people to share thoughts, feelings, experiences, and views of the world.” (Sole, 2011) You are curious is to why are the basic principles of human communication important? Simple, communication will guide us to how we can build a relationship with other people. Knowing the basics can help determine how well we connect with other people. With communication, it allows people to share their insights of themselves and learn about the other person. With the learning the basics of human communication, it will guide those who are not used to communicating with others. Their words will affect their character by attitude, behavior, and their perception. Marge, as you do gardening outside the lawn try waving to your neighbors when you see them this is a sample of basic communication. You are not actually having a conversation with them, but just a simple “wave” your actions tells that person that you are showing positive communication by waving. Homer, you try it too. You said you wear a chemical proof suit when you are working with nuclear chemicals, how do you communication with your co-workers, using hand gestures and sign language? However, you display your communication without actually having a conversation but simple hand gestures is also basic communication.
Having knowledge of the basics is just first hand into communication; understanding how perceptions, emotions, and non-verbal expressions affect interpersonal relationships is an important factor in a couple’s relationship.
It is important that you both can sense each other’s moves, almost as if it is a mutual understanding. The perceptions on how one may react to something that is non-verbal can affect your relationship not only to each other but to your children as well, if you do not carefully communicate with each other. Let us just shy away from the topic of you two for a second and let us talk about your children. “Nonverbal communication is defined as communication of message without words, which means that it encompasses a wide range of vocal and visual signs of behaviors.” (Sole, 2011) Non-verbal communication is important to all ages, but especially so when interacting with your children. Take Maggie, your youngest daughter for example. A toddler or an infant may not have well-developed verbal skills as yet; nevertheless, they do listen to your tone of voice and watch your facial expressions and body language as you talk to them. Soon Maggie will recognize and read your feelings through nonverbal communication. This is the essential first step of communication that she learns from you both as parents being around her. It goes the same way for Bart and Lisa, although they are no longer in their young stage it is more work to understand that they are reaching …show more content…
their teenage phase. “People vary in their ability to send and receive nonverbal communication, and difficulty in understanding or interpreting nonverbal messages can be a serious handicap in interpersonal communication.” (Sole, 2011) You both wonder why it is important to use nonverbal communication thoroughly. Nonverbal communication is as simple as using gestures with hands as I mentioned before by greeting your neighbors or communicating with co-workers. It is important that you both understand nonverbal communication to avoid conflict. Some may have difficulty expressing them, like Maggie so they use nonverbal communication. It is important that you both analyze your nonverbal communication so that the other person does not get the wrong perception and it could affect interpersonal behavior in couples as well as your children.
Besides nonverbal communication, you both need to recognize how self-concept, defensive and supportive messages, and behaviors create a positive and negative communication climates. Before we can truly change our relationships, we must first look deeply at ourselves, what beliefs we cling to, what decisions we may have made long ago that may be at the root of our relationship problem or that are preventing us from experiencing our full range of emotion. Self-concept is how one would present themselves to others; it could be a positive or a negative effect. “Self-concept can be defined as an appraisal of your own attributes and competencies.” (Sole, 2011) Marge, as females our culture vulnerability is associated with femininity, in refusing to ever appear vulnerable, you had given up many pleasures of being a woman. Every person, to have balanced relationships, must be able to sometimes be vulnerable and sometimes be strong. “Throughout life, you have an infinite number of opportunities to express yourself and to interact with people. These people may express opinions about your behavior by smiling or frowning at you or by making verbal judgments about your behavior or appearance.” (Sole, 2011) Self-concept is important for a couple’s relationship. Who says a man cannot be vulnerable or sensitive? Who says a man cannot cry? Who says a career woman with a family cannot also be fun loving and carefree? A sensitive man can be strong. A woman can be sexy and feminine and stay in control. When couples communicate, they learn about each other through self-concept. Self-concept is how you may present yourself to each other, who or they are and your attributes. While you both get to know each other, in the beginning you get to know each other through self-concept. Your behaviors can send defensive and supportive messages towards each other, which can result to positive and negative communication climates. Which brings to if both of you are too self involve, it could generate a negative message of being selfish. Alternatively, can be a pet peeve if Homer for example dislikes your personality Marge. The importance of self-concept is how both of you attract each other and what qualities you both bring to the table. The fears that caused us to limit our full range of feelings might have been useful in the past, but may well be obsolete and wreaking havoc in our important relationships.
In this program, each couple learns about others self-concept, however, to avoid a rocky relationship couples must share some self-disclosure. They also need to evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships. This is why I advise you both to continue with the five-week program here in our facility. This program is not only for newly wed couples, it is also designed to help distress married couples repair their relationship to where it was. I know that it may not be the honeymoon stage but surely, with this program can help you bring each other back to what it used to be and that is recognizing the quality of communication. “Quality communication is defined somewhat differently from study to study, but research consistently has shown a link between happy marriages and “self-disclosure,” or sharing your private feelings, fears, doubts, and perceptions with your partner.” (Schoenberg, 2011) In the brochure that I have provided, we have a ten-minute session with the couples. We took in consideration of the article, which is also in the pamphlet called, “Can we talk? Researcher talks about the communication in happy marriages.” The author discuss that even having ten minutes a day to talk can bring a couple closer together and could build on their marriage. In the ten-minute session, we have the couples set up to have at least ten minutes of conversation. It does not have to be difficult or subjective just something simple as to “How is your day?” On the other hand, in your case talk about the progress Maggie has made, how successful Lisa had advance to Jazz Band, and maybe even how Bart did not have to see Principal Skinner today. Regardless of any type couple self-disclosure and affective affirmation is important to avoid separation or possibly divorce. Ten minutes a day is ideal for couples to communicate than no communication at all.
Concisely, should couples need to help understand how to have a strong relationship, they would need to learn about themselves before they seek other people.
You both need to understand that there is more to just being in a relationship or being married with each other and that communication is the benefactor to a healthy relationship. Five key elements that we have talked about will help build a strong foundation for both of you using the Interpersonal Communication Program. In order to help the relationship in a healthy way, both of you must express each other through emotional intelligence verbal and nonverbal communication, attitude, behavior, and perception. Even though self-concept, defensive, supportive messages, and behaviors create positive and negative communication climates to a relationship. Interpersonal communication could bring you both closer together especially by expressing self-disclosure, it can improve both of your relationship and your interactions with each other. It is understandable that any couples go through a rocky phase, and our Interpersonal Communication Program can be a change of effect on how couples like you Mr. and Mrs. Simpson understand each other and avoid conflict that can ruin a relationship and in your case your marriage. Successful communication is a not a synonym for agreement. Your ability to exchange your thoughts and feelings clearly with your spouse does not imply your agreement. There may be stress from a job outside the
house and from household task. Successful communication helps each person release stress, and supports each partner by acknowledging both parties’ contributions to the newly formed nuclear family. An obvious example is Homer, working hard to support the family and you Marge taking care of the children. You both need to communicate clearly about each other’s jobs and responsibilities, so there will not be any confusion or negligence. Effective communication is an excellent tool for new and experienced parents to use, share their feelings, and to express their appreciation to each other.
I am looking forward and hope to see you both in the future, and to fully complete the program. I anticipate that this will help you decide together if this is the next step to rebuild your relationship and your family. Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,
Dr. Jane Doe
Ashford Psychology Research Center and Facility
Reference
Blume, T. (2006). Emotional intelligence in couples therapy: Advances from neurobiology and the science of intimate relationships. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 32(3), 401-401.
Cloud, H. & Townsend, J. (2005). Rescue Your Love Life. Nashville, Tennessee: Integrity Publishers.
Madanes, C. (2009). Relationship Breakthrough: How to create outstanding relationships in every area of your life. New York, New York: Rodale Inc.
Schoenberg, N. (2011, January 17). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in happy marriages. McClatchy-Tribune News Service.
Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA