Inequality In Vietnamese Culture

Vietnamese school culture deeply values maintaining social and academic impeccability. The struggle to appear competent and successful in work life makes expressing vulnerability in personal life a taboo. In high school, this cultural expectation has even influenced relationships with my parents and close friends - my interactions even with my own mother have for years been formal and polite, even indifferent. For example, I have never quite felt present around the family dinner table, always feeling mechanical. Over time, I have felt increasingly closed off from my family, a shell estranging me even from my grandparents, especially my grandfather, with whom I was closest. Naturally, my shallow high school attitude was especially detrimental to our relationship. “Hurry up! Your grandfather is calling. Come catch up on the phone,” my mother would shout from downstairs. “Mom, talk to him
I had to take this second chance. Thereafter, nothing distracted me from sharing simple joys with him; like roaming together through Ho Chi Minh or mischievously recounting the most recent football game. By sharing myself - my time, energy, and attention - with my grandpa, I began to bridge the gap between us. Beyond football, I talked to him about my frustrations and aches, recounting disappointments about club recruiting or conflicts with my parents at home. Regardless of the topic, he always listened to me with so much patience and empathy. How could he show such empathy after my years of ignoring him? I didn’t deserve his affection, and wanted to make productive this lesson of empathy in any way I could. He taught me a sort of openness towards which I have begun to aspire in my other relationships. My grandfather, a product of old world Vietnamese culture that defied vulnerability, showed me that this kind of openness was more than ok; it could build the foundation of all my personal