Interpersonal Communication Week 1

Interpersonal communication week 1

Samantha Joe Taylor
Communication Skills Article Thoughts
COM 200: Interpersonal Communication
Instructor Katie Rosenthal
May 20, 2013

People often feel that they are able to communicate more effectively with their loved ones due to the closeness of their relationship. Yet, an article in U.S. News & World Report titled ‘Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication’ expresses the thought that people in a close relationship often do not recognize their lack of communication skills when communicating with these loved ones because of the nature of their relationship. (U.S. News & World Report, 2011). This strikes true to me because of my own personal experiences within a relationship of my own; yet, I believe that by improving different aspect of interpersonal communication (such as emotional intelligence and listening skills) this bias can be avoided.
I believe that the person that I most often confuse my communication skills with being effective when they are not is my fiancé, Jorge. Because of our long relationship, I tend to believe that he can anticipate my needs without me directly expressing them. "People commonly believe that they communicate better with close friends than with strangers. That closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate, a phenomenon we term the 'closeness-communication bias, '" study co-author Boaz Keysar, a professor in psychology at the University of Chicago, said in a university news release. (U.S News & World Report, 2011). This bias on my part as led to arguments where I expect certain tasks to be accomplished (within the household for example) but because I do not expressly state my desires, Jorge does not accomplish the tasks as I wanted. I find this flaw could be fixed if I were to work on aspects of my communication.
I believe that a lack of emotional intelligence often leads to situations where miscommunication might occur. According to our text, “Understanding emotions and expressing these emotions appropriately is the key to successful communication with others. People who are aware of their emotions and are sensitive to the emotions of others are better able to handle the ups and downs of life, to rebound from adversity, and to maintain fulfilling relationships with others.” (Sole, 2011). Emotional intelligence is beneficial when communicating with loved ones because these type of emotion based relationships tend to circulate around situations where emotions might not be clearly expressed, such as in a disagreement or discussion. According to Savitsky, "Some couples may indeed be on the same wavelength, but maybe not as much as they think. You get rushed and preoccupied, and you stop taking the perspective of the other person, precisely because the two of you are so close.” (U.S. News & World Report, 2011). By focusing on the emotions presented by you close friend or spouse, the receiver will be better able to understand the needs being displayed and react accordingly.
I similarly believe that a lack of listening skills might further aggravate situations of miscommunication. According to our text, “Researchers report that most of us spend more time listening than we do talking; however, most people have had little education on how to be an effective listener. […] Listening requires focus and attention, and failure to listen is one of the key causes of miscommunication.” (Sole, 2011). When having a discussion with a close counterpart, a person might tend to focus more on what they are trying to express themselves instead of the facts or needs being given to them in turn. The article in U.S News & World Report states, “Our problem in communicating with friends and spouses is that we have an illusion of insight. Getting close to someone appears to create the illusion of understanding more than actual understanding.” (U.S. News & World Report, 2011). By truly listening and absorbing the presented information, the partners within the relationship will be better prepared to respond as needed to the situation. In conclusion, I believe that the article ‘Close Relationships Sometimes Masks Poor Communication’ was true in their belief that intimate relationships with significant others or friends can lead a person to believe that they are effectively communicating when they in fact not. Due to my own personal experience, I believe that by actively working to improve emotional intelligence skills and listening skills the people within these intimate relationships will be better prepared to handle situations where miscommunication might occur. Disputes are inevitable, yet with the appropriate knowledge they can be better handled.

References
Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication. (2011, U.S.News & World Report, , 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/852775455?accountid=32521
Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc

References: Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication. (2011, U.S.News & World Report, , 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/852775455?accountid=32521 Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc