Top of Form Jan 6, 2009, 01:27pm #1
Hi, I wrote another essay for CLEP practice. Any comments are appreciated, but I'm mostly interested in this: Is my thesis sentence clear? Are my closing remarks clear and appropriate? Are there any places that seem off topic? Anyone have any CLEP essay tips?
Thanks!
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"Choose one invention or discovery that has significantly influenced modern society. Show either the positive and/or negative influence of this invention or discovery."
Our world has experienced many changes within the last century, and one of the most influential changes is the invention of the cellphone. The cellphone has completely changed the way we communicate, as well as the speed, convenience, and quality of our communication.
The cell phone has made communication more convenient than ever before. If we find ourselves in a bind, like maybe our car breaks down, we can simply pick up our cell and call a friend or tow truck. If we're on the road, away from a telephone directory, we can call the operator and they can connect us to whoever we want.
Along with improving the convenience of our communication, cell phones have made communication move faster and faster. I can call you tell you something, and you can call a friend, and that friend can call another friend all within an incredibly small time frame. News that would have once taken several hours (or days) to travel, now travels within a matter of minutes.
Because news travels so fast, the result is that everyone is so much more connected than they were in the past. Cells phones have created a network of human beings, and that network is a living and vibrant thing. In the past, networks of people were limited, because it took lots of time and effort to spread news. Now, because of the speed and ease of communication, networks are allowed to grow much larger and complex.
These three improvements in communication