Jealousy, a Sign of Love or Insecurity?

Alexis Glynn Eliza C. Martinez 07/21/11

Jealousy: a sign of love or insecurity?

We have come across people who claim that jealousy made their relationships with their partners stronger. In addition to that, some people also claim that jealousy is healthy in a relationship. Most of us would assume that when a couple quarrels over something due to jealousy, they are just merely showing how much they love each other. Nearly all people equate jealousy with love however, opinions pointed out in this paper would suggest otherwise.
Just the word jealousy, itself, can evoke many controversial feelings in a person. Most of us have probably felt it at one time or another in our lives. The majority of the time that we feel this emotion, we might not even be consciously aware of why we are jealous at the moment. It might feel like an automatic reaction for us; we see our beloved partner bursting out in laughter at a joke that some other potentially attractive woman or man made other than us. Suddenly, the rate of our heartbeat increases just a bit and our mind starts whirling and analyzing the situation. We sense a fear of losing our mate to the funny person, because we think that maybe they are better than us. When that happens, we either express jealousy in the form of violence by lashing out at our partner and giving false accusations or we resort to revenge by doing something which the other one objects to. Jealousy is not at all bad. In fact, it is a healthy ingredient in a relationship if the people involved know how to handle this kind of emotion. Rational thinking and disposition helps quell out the initial negative reactions. One must first think before acting in order to not embarrass oneself. Nobody could really keep someone to himself because interaction with other people is normal and that one must accept that this is inevitable. A person should not only be concentrated to one. In relationships, it is the only exclusive intimate sharing of one’s self which makes it different from other types of relationships. Healthy relationships are built on trust and secure feelings amid situations that can incite jealousy and doubtfulness.
According to Dr. Conchita Umali, dean of the Assumption Grade School and a practicing psychology, distrust is an issue for jealousy. If a partner has previously engaged in something which has caused the other to lose trust, then that maybe a possible ground for jealousy and doubtfulness. On the other hand, jealousy may also mean that a person is afraid of losing someone of great importance to him. As pointed out by Jireh Singson, a Music Production student from the De La Salle – College of Saint Benilde and my close acquiantance, although jealousy is healthy in a relationship, jealousy cannot be deemed as a form of expression of love. That is due to one’s greediness – thinking of one’s benefit since that person does not want to lose that someone because he derives something from him or her. Instead of thinking what is good for both of you, you only think about what is good for yourself and how you can benefit more from the other. Without him or her, the other does not feel as good with himself as when he was when he still had her.
Therefore, to sum it all, jealousy cannot be considered as a form of expressing love because all in all, jealousy reflects a person’s insecurity toward someone who he might think is better.