Jim Mandelin: Self Analysis

In the class this week, we had a presentation from Jim Mandelin, in which we heard his story from his childhood of abuse, to his life in prison and in gangs, and to the present to where it appears he is overcoming most of the adversity he has faced in his life previously. In my life, when I have faced struggles and overcome adversity, I tended to have done it by myself without much support from others, for the reason I tend not to inform others of my struggles to not become less in their eyes. Moreover, at times when others have become aware of my struggles and adversity they had the habit of not giving out much support, but rather I was meet with a ton of verbal abuse for struggling, aside from my older sister who did support me on the occasion
if she became aware of my struggles or adversity that I was facing. On the other hand, in terms of my life successes, they tended to garner a ton of proud and encouraging responses from those in my life, and on the occasion, I have received disappointment from others for not achieving even more. Nevertheless, I have found that the adversity I have faced and overcome, has led to myself becoming stronger due to them, and the success I have found has done likewise, since I have built upon my success and used it, in combination with my adversity, to push forward in my life.
Similarly, the adversity I have overcome has been vital in myself becoming the person I am today, and due to this I feel that I am more self-aware of myself, and others. In the case of myself, I am more aware of my thoughts, and I now tend to engage in positive self-talk to garner support and belief of myself that I realize that I crave for, which in turn, allows myself to not crave it from others, which has lead myself to become vulnerable in the past (Shebib, 2016, pg. 22). In addition, I still have work to do in completing my healing and growth, and one way I find that I can accomplish this is by attempting to find an individual that is willing to help me deal with my struggles, and to empower myself, whether it be from counselling or a personal
relationship. The main way I have been using the course materials to grow is by becoming more resilient to the struggles I face. For example, I have accomplished this by being mindful and using self-compassion to ensure in the face of struggle I do not beat up myself, rather continue to take care of myself (Belter, 2017, Lecture on A Brief Introduction to Mindful Self-Compassion). Moreover, I have also become more objective which has aided by growth as I now am aware of my by vulnerabilities such as the trying to be overly pleasing to aggressive clients (Shebib, 2016, pg. 20 & 23). In addition, I also believe that I have become more empathetic with others in relationships, as in the past I would not make much effort to try to understand another’s emotional perspective (Abramson, 2017, Lecture on Empathy & Asking Questions); nevertheless, now whenever I am in a conservation with someone I do attempt to understand their emotions and “see the world through [their]… eyes (Shebib, 2016, pg. 159), and then also try and communicate that empathy with that individual (Abramson, 2017, Lecture on Empathy & Asking Questions)
Moreover, I also hope to use Jim’s advice of recognizing the negative self-talk I have and not just acknowledging it, but also ending the negative self-talk. For instance, when I have negative self-talk I tend to just allow it and ignore it, rather than acknowledge it, and by doing so, the negative self-talk’s impact becomes increasingly more and has led to myself to have emotional distress and has interfered with my ability to live in day-to-day life (Shebib, 2016, pg. 22). For Jim, whenever he has felt that his uncle begins to give out negative self-talk to him, Jim is quick to acknowledge it and then end the self-talk since he does not want it to impact him anymore. Hence, I hope that I can start to acknowledge the negative self-talk and then end it to allow myself to grow. Additionally, according to Jim, the majority of juvenile offenders come from childhoods of abuse, and tend to be fatherless which contributes mightily to their adolescent years that become filled with law-breaking. In turn, by learning so, I feel that I have more empathy for them, as it appears that their freedom of choice has become limited due to the position they have been placed in where there is abuse and lack of opportunity. Thus, by being aware of this, it becomes somewhat easier for myself to use empathy and compassion towards these individuals, as although I may have not suffered the amount they have, I have suffered in the past, and hence, I am more aware of what they have experienced. In addition, as stated by Shebib (2016), “the ultimate goal of crisis intervention is client empowerment”, and to accomplish this, it is important to motivate change in clients for them to once again obtain power and control (pg.
188). Once I enter the criminal justice system, it is vital that I am able to help the individuals in the system to rehabilitate themselves and reintegrate back into the community, and this will likely be done with them being able to change to gain power and control of their lives. My job will be to increase helpful thinking for them (Shebib, 2016, pg. 201), and hopefully I am able to accomplish my goals that I have set. Likewise, I have always had faith in the fact that people can heal and change if given the opportunity, and Jim’s presentation only enhanced this belief. By witnessing someone as Jim, tell their story that has involved extensive suffering and be able to change, it should give all people hope that one can heal and change if they are given the opportunity as Jim
was.
Furthermore, I have carried a belief for the longest of time of why we should help people who do not want help. This is a mistaken belief that I have held on to for the reason it appears to be rational, yet I have never questioned as to whom would never want help. Most people are in the need of help, even if they themselves do not realize it, and it is my job to not take offence or label one as untreatable if they are resistant to change. For instance, Jim gave the story of the boy who had his head slammed into the police cruiser after the boy made a derogatory gesture towards the officers after they asked for his name, yet what the officers did not know was what the boy had been dealing with at home. It is clear, that the boy needed help, however the officers, unable to understand all of the things the boy had been dealing with, responded in a manner that was violent and unjustified. Therefore, I have over the past year, attempted to hold my judgements to the bare minimal as I realize that I will still judge in my mind, as it is in human nature to do so (Abramson, 2017, Lecture on Cultural Intelligence); nonetheless, I hope that I will not allow my judgements to get in the way of myself understanding others and their hidden stories.