Tim O’Brien is fairly conscious of the difference between cowardice and bravery. To him, courage is not fulfilling what is socially accepted, but continuing to uphold one’s own morals even against adversity. His feelings are revealed in the chapter “On the Rainy River,” where he shamefully describes his “fast and mindless” flight …show more content…
He never once describes the men in the war as brave or courageous, he actually talks a lot about their fears and the emotional baggage they carry. The reader soon finds that Jimmy has a girl back home named Martha. He loves her with all his heart but these feelings seem to be unrequited as Martha treats him as a good friend rather than a potential boyfriend or lover. He describes a night when he had taken Martha to a movie and kissing her goodbye that night after taking her home. “Right then, he thought, he should've have done something brave…...He should’ve risked it” (5). This shows how Cross feels that taking risks, even as small as kissing a date goodnight or touching her, are more brave than any mission carried out by the soldiers. Thoughts of their relationship always occupy Cross’s mind and distract him from his duties. His lack of attention costs one man his life, having lasting effects on Cross’s conscience and gives him an eternal sense of guilt over his actions. This showed how emotionally fragile Vietnam soldiers were and the amount of stress and tragedy being put on them on a day to day basis. Another example of this is when Cross’s fellow soldier, Kiowa, dies in an accidental explosion. Cross is found squatting in the muck of a lake, almost in a daze, contemplating the death of all those around him and what it means and who is to blame. He tried to tell himself that “No apologies were necessary, because in fact it was one of those freak things, and the war was full of freaks, and nothing could ever change it anyway. Which was the truth, the exact truth. Lieutenant Cross went deeper into the muck, the dark water at his throat, and tried to [convince] himself it was the truth” (176). This symbolizes the breaking point of Cross and how he really is no longer courageous. He takes tragedies to heart and feels