John Clark Monologue

A few minutes later, Jason walks over and stands in front of me at the Labrae table. He can see that I am bothered. His exterior has softened – a little. He asks why I was crying and I told him it was because of the way he talked to me and that I would not be able to get my doughnuts out on time. But there was more to it than that: I was worried that he would unfairly use this incident as an opportunity to support his claim that I could not “cut it” as a baker. Jason tends to embellish situations where I am involved and then tries to badger me into admitting his inflated version. He does this by pushing his face and shoulders forward and saying things like, “Hu . . .Hu” . . . so you did do [such and such.]” or “so you did not do [such and such.]” I’ve often told him that he is “putting words in my mouth”
Thus, part of what Jason was saying came in bits and pieces. One thing I do remember him saying, however, was “baby steps.” This was one of his most common and confusing comments to me. For the most part when he says it, I feel as if he is using it as a teaching analogy, to help me “grow” or better myself, so that I can achieve greater successes. But every now and then, it appears that he is using it in a condescending manner, as if to imply that he has to take things easy on me, or make it simple. I remember too that he brought up about the peas that I had spilt on the floor and reprimanded me for “[leaving] the mess for someone else to pick up! I managed to tell him – through my tears -that I thought he was being mean and disrespectful to me. I could tell by his body language that this made him mad. He tried to turn it around on me, saying,
“Yeah like the way you talk to me.” He said this while waving his hand if front of his face (palm side forward) and claiming that I said “F … you” to him. I was stunned to hear him say that. I had never said such