John Harvey

I have been tired from the minute that I woke up. Forcing yourself to live an uneventful mundane life is truly exhausting. I graduated at the top of my class with a marketing degree only to find myself working as a glorified receptionist at an insurance company. I wake up at 7:00 am every day, drink 2 cups of coffee, throw my hair into a messy bun, put on a blazer and pencil skirt, then I drive to my own personal hell. I am living in a 9 to 5 nightmare. I am the first one at the office every morning. Janice in accounting is usually right behind me. I have at least 15 minutes before she walks in, so I get a cup of coffee and brace myself for her bright and shining presence. Janice is a classic morning person. I could be silent for days if
my job did not depend on me greeting visitors and customers. Janice gets in 15 minutes before nine, walks to my desk and shouts, “good morning, Morgan! It is such a lovely day! I am so happy to see you!” It does not matter if it is raining, snowing, or if there world is coming to an end; Janice will always say that it is such a “lovely” day. I typically respond, “Hello Janice. It is nice to see you as well. I will let you know if you have any messages as soon as I check the inbox.” Janice never has any messages, but I wouldn’t want to crush her hopes and dreams. Janice usually just smiles and says, “Have a lovely day, dear. I’ll talk to you soon!” and goes on her merry way. The next person to walk in is my boss Mr.
John Harvey. Mr. Harvey is a giant scum bag. He is always on the verge of a sexual harassment lawsuit, which I would have filed 4 years ago if I had not lost faith in finding a job in marketing. Mr. Harvey always sits a few inches too close, embraces a little too long, and says wildly inappropriate things at inappropriate times. The thing that I hate most about John Harvey is the fact that he calls me sugar plum. At this point, I do not think that the man truly knows my name which is rather easy to remember because my parents were huge fans of alliteration. My full name is Morgan Marie Michaels. I hate my name more than anything. Mr. Harvey walks in, comes behind my desk, gives me a hug and a peck on the cheek and says, “good morning sugar plum! It is going to be a great day in the exciting world of insurance! If you’re really good today, maybe that new marketing job will finally open up!” Mr. Harvey promised me that a marketing job would be “opening up” 4 years ago when he hired me and he reminds me of his betrayal from 9 to 5 o’clock Monday-Friday. After he pulls away from his morning hug and peck, I fight the urge to punch him in his lying mouth and say, “I certainly hope that marketing job does open up today Mr. Harvey! I’ll let you know if you have any messages after I check the inbox.” He usually winks at me and says, “You’re the best, sugar plum!” I am so surprised that I have not physically assaulted John Harvey. I do not
know how much longer I can pretend to like him and this job. Half of my day I am fighting to urge to vomit and the other half I am using my coping skills so I don’t physically harm him or my other co-workers. The rest of the sales team and accountants show up around 9-9:30. If the sales team had something to celebrate the night before, they usually show up around 10 but Mr. Harvey would never say anything to his beloved sales team. They can do no wrong. My co-workers are all very friendly and they treat me like I am one of them, but deep down I know that they are just trying to be nice. I am the girl that greets their clients and offers them a beverage; I am not one of them. Sam, the lead agent, is very attractive and nice. He always asks me to go out on Friday nights, but I generally make an excuse. I say things like, “oh, my dog is sick and I have to take her to the vet,” or, “I would love to, Sam, but I already have plans.” My plans usually consist of me, a bottle of wine, my dog Margot, and binge watching Ken Burns documentaries on Netflix. It is truly exhausting living an unbelievably uneventful life. Sometimes whenever I think I might go insane at my own personal hell of a job I day dream about Sam and I having a life together.
I picture us living in a cool loft down town. I see us having parties, inviting all of his cool friends, and I imagine that I have cool friends to invite as well. We have expensive aged wines, an assortment of top dollar cheeses and olives, and we really love each other. I am a marketing director of some lavish fortune five hundred company and Sam is the CEO of some well-known insurance company. We don’t have any children because we are too busy with our jobs and we think that children would cramp our extravagant lifestyle. Whenever I leave this day dream, I feel crushed by my surroundings. I go from living the dream with Sam to the sound of a co-worker shouting, “Morgan! Answer the telephone! I’m expecting an important call!” I want to shout back, “you answer the damn telephone, Jared! I am not your
mother!” I think that today might be the day that I do it. I have planned how I would quit so many different times, but I think I actually might do it today. Sometimes I think I might burn the building down so that they would still have to pay me while I look for another job, but I don’t think I am smart enough to pull of arson and I know that prison orange is not my color. Janice walks in talking about how “lovely” it is outside and today I did something different. I said, “Janice, it is raining outside and you have been working for this company for 10 years. Get a grip.” Her face was priceless. She said, “Is everything okay, Morgan?” My response was also priceless. I said, “No, Janice it is not. I hate my job and I don’t want to pretend today. You don’t have any messages because you never have any messages. Have a great day.” Janice stared at me with her mouth open for 20 seconds before she said, “thank you for your honesty. I hope you find what you are looking for.” I smiled and began to laugh and then Mr. John Harvey walked in. He walked behind my desk, hugged me and gave me the morning peck and said, “good morning sugar plum! It’s going to be a great day! If you’re really good…” I interrupted him and said, “John, you are a liar and a scum bag. You promised me a marketing job 4 years ago and I have been faithful and patient. I have never used my sick days or vacation days. I hate the fact that you think it is okay to touch me and I hate the fact that you call me sugar plum. My name is Morgan Michaels and I do not have to put up with your inappropriate behavior any more. I quit John. I am done.” As I was saying “I quit” Sam and some other members of the sales team walked in. They stood there waiting for John Harvey’s response. He said, “sugar plum! Please calm down. There is no reason to be so hostile. There has never been a marketing position and there never will be one, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work here. You are great at your job!” I said, “John, I hate this job. This place is literally sucking the life out of me. I am not your sugar plum. Good bye.” I grabbed my things and made my way to the door where Sam was waiting with a piece of paper in his hand. He handed me the paper and whispered, “in case Margot isn’t sick, and you don’t have any plans.” I smiled and walked out the door. I opened the paper to find Sam’s number and the words, “nice job, sugar plum. I hope to see you soon.”