John Mayer Gender Stereotypes

Knowing Your Role:
The Challenges of Gender Stereotyping and Nonconformity

John Mayer won a Grammy award for Song of the Year in 2005 for a song entitled “Daughters.” The song is essentially telling fathers to rear their daughters in a way that will be beneficial to their future relationships with men. As someone that once wanted to be a songwriter, I can appreciate this from an aesthetic perspective. It’s very organic in it’s composition; however, one of the primary messages of this song can be interpreted as girls are fragile emotionally and are unable to cope with anything but a good relationship with their fathers or it could spell doom for other men that may come into her life.
At the heart of this lies a well-known stereotype that
precludes a conundrum of sorts. If parents, particularly fathers, enforce the belief that the daughters are very emotionally sensitive, what message does this send to sons? Are they any less important? And what about females that grow up and become attracted to other females? These questions only produce more questions about the state of gender in modern American society.
As children, we tend to build up prototypes and schemas of ideas prior to actually knowing what they mean. That is to say, before deciding what is right and what is wrong we try to find out what is right in other people’s opinions. We consider that we behave in a right way when we behave the same way as others. The strong influence of gender norms on our behavior can be explained by the combination of informational pressure and normative pressure (). On the one hand gender stereotypes, like all other stereotypes, serve as tools simplify our life and reduce the amount of stressful unknowns. In our childhood we discover this and learn to follow them without thinking and without making any effort to change them. But on the other hand gender stereotypes limit the development may serve to limit human personality growth and lead to social intolerance ().
Gender-role development is one of the most important areas of human development.
In fact, the sex of a newborn sets the agenda for a whole array of developmental experiences that will influence the person throughout his or her life. The study of the development of gender is a topic that is inherently controversial and interesting to parents, students, researchers, and scholars for several reasons. First and foremost, one's sex is one of the most evident characteristics that is presented to other people. Second, whether a person is described as male or female becomes a meaningful part of one's general character; it is one of the primary descriptors people use about themselves. Labeling oneself as a "boy" or "girl" can begin as early as age eighteen months (Beale, 1994). Third, gender is an important mediator of human experiences and the way in which individuals interact with each other and the physical environment. A person’s choices of friends, toys, classes taken in grade school, and occupation all are influenced by sex (Maccoby, 1998). Finally, the study of sex, gender development, and sex differences becomes the focal point of an age-old controversy that has influenced the field of developmental psychology: the nature-nurture controversy. Within this scope, questions pertaining to the biological impact of gender roles and sex differences, as well as the effects of society, and how they interact and influence each other are asked and
answered.
If one begins to decipher the academic perspective of gender-role development, the definitions of the terms "sex" and "gender" need to be understood. Referring to the nature-nurture controversy, scholars have found it critical to differentiate those features of males and females that can be credited to biology and those that can be credited to social influences. The term "sex" denotes the actual physical makeup of individuals that define them as male or female. Sex is determined by multiple items that include genetic makeup, internal reproductive organs, the organization of the brain (such as in the control of hormone production), and external genitalia (Maccoby, 1998). By contrast, the behavior of individuals as males or females, the types of roles they assume, and their personality characteristics, may be as much a function of social expectations and interactions as their biological makeup. (Maccoby, 1998)
For instance, in Western culture, females are supposed to be submissive, and males assertive (Maccoby, 1998). These behaviors and characteristics are dependent upon the social context. In order to distinguish social roles and behaviors from biological features, scholars refer to these as "gender" and "gender roles." Obviously, sex and gender are intertwined. Social expectations usually are enacted once body parts reveal the biological makeup of the individual (West & Zimmerman, 1987). The process of developing sex and gender begin before birth and continues through adulthood. Developmental changes occur throughout a lifetime, and there are multiple theories and research methods that explore these critical transformations.
The time that encompasses early childhood is critical during years in the development of gender roles. During these years that children become aware of their gender, where play styles and behaviors begin become established around the core identity of "I am a girl" or "I am a boy," and that the social context of family, school, the peer group, and the media exert potent messages in stereotyped ways (McIntyre & Edwards, 2009). Many prominent personality theories use this time during lifespan development as an anchor from which to build knowledge concerning human development. For example, in the psychoanalytic theory of Sigmund Freud, in the third stage of psychosexual development a male child encounters the Oedipal Crisis, a time when the only way in which he can cope with his desire for his mother and fear of his father is to completely identify and incorporate his father's characteristics within himself. Although many contemporary psychologists do not agree with this theory in general, Freud is credited with highlighting the development of gender and gender-role behaviors very early in childhood and their link to identification with parents (McIntyre & Edwards, 2009).
Being a teenager in this day and age is not an easy task. Managing social interactions through technological social networks, peer relationships, academic/vocational success, in addition managing the physical/sexual maturation process can have various effects on young people. The process of identity comes to the forefront during adolescents. Many psychologists and sociologists acknowledge that by this point, identity has been formed from a parental perspective, this is where social interactions with peers tend to become more important.
Adolescence is a stage that begins in puberty and ends in adulthood. Sexual maturation begins in early adolescence and is marked by the appearance of rapid physical changes such as secondary sex characteristics. These physical changes and others’ reactions to them increase the prominence of gender and adolescents may feel compelled to behave according to gender stereotypes (Lobel, Nov-Krispin, Schiller, Lobel & Feldman, 2004). Thus, at this age there is an increased reactivity to gender stereotypes and an devotion to them, which is referred to as gender intensification (Lobel et. al., 2004). This gender intensification makes any deviation from the expected traditional masculine or feminine norm more salient and it is more severely judged. Indeed, it has been shown that young adolescents judge, accept, and reject one another on the basis of these gender stereotypes (Alfieri, Ruble, & Higgins, 1996).
A supplementary characteristic of adolescence that seems be applicable to discriminatory behavior is social non-conformity. The importance of peers and their approval and social acceptance increases during adolescence and conformity pressures reach their peak (Ge, Conger, & Elder, 2001). As a result, adolescence is characterized by an increase in prejudice and discriminatory behavior towards individuals showing behavior deviant from their social group norms (Carr, 1998). Studies contrasting adolescents and young adults have shown that, with the beginning of young adulthood, there is a decrease in stereotyping and an increase in gender flexibility (Lobel et. al., 2004).
Identity is often characterized in terms of one's interpersonal characteristics, such as self-definition or personality traits, the roles and relationships one takes on in various interactions, and one's personal values or moral beliefs. Identity also involves a sense of continuity of self-images over time (Ge et. al., 2001). Continuity may be disrupted when puberty creates radical alterations in one's physical appearance. With sexual maturation comes changes in the roles that one is anticipated to assume with members of the opposite sex, during adolescence a person is progressively expected to assume a sexual identity, one of the markers and anchors of a mature identity (Huffaker & Calvert, 2005).
“The most pronounced search for identity in the adolescent years generally begins with puberty and can end at various social markers, such as the acquisition of certain legal markers (e.g., the right to vote, or formal adult status, that are acquired at age 18 in the United States of America)” as stated by Huffaker and Calvert in 2005. Whereas parents play a significant role in gender socialization when their children are very young, when most American boys and girls enter school they separate into gender-segregated groups that seem to operate by their own set of peer-driven rules. Gender segregation is such a widespread phenomenon that boys and girls seem to work and play together only when there is an adult present to urge them to do so (Bumpus, Crouter, & McHale, 2001).
During unstructured free time, the lapse into the "two cultures of childhood" is quite obvious - the other sex becomes "toxic” (Carr, 1998). A typical boys' group is large, competitive, hierarchical, with one or two boys at the top of the pecking order, and organized around large group outdoor activities such as sports. Rough-and-tumble play and displays of strength and toughness frequently occur (Pollack, 1998).
Girls, on the other tend to go the opposite direction. They tend to maintain smaller peer groups while engaging in more informal communication where the focus is solidarity, not contention. According to Eleanor Maccoby, girls try very hard to be "nice" to one another, even as they attempt to covertly promote their own agenda. In most cases, these styles of interactions continue throughout adolescence and adulthood (Maccoby, 1998).
This seems to be at the heart of the issue for adolescents that do not fulfill traditional gender roles during this period of their lives. While children are younger, gender stereotypes, though not a rigid as in the past, are still very pervasive. Boys are encouraged to be aggressive and competitive while girls are encouraged to be submissive and cooperative.
However, as children grow, it becomes more evident for children that traditional masculine traits, such as girls being identified as “tomboys” are preferred and encouraged. Androgyny is more acceptable for girls than it is for boys. Boys that may not be into sports and/or more into playing house or learning to cook, activities that are traditional more feminine, are labeled “sissies” (Martin, 2002). The message to boys (and subsequently girls): the worst thing you can do is to be a girl. As children transition to teenagers, gender identity and social relations come to an interaction (Lerner & Steinberg, 2004).
As they advance in the academic arena, educational facilities are institutions that provide a location for dynamics among various groups to play themselves out, and adolescence in the USA is a period in life when many teens become increasingly aware of the differences between them (Lerner & Steinberg, 2004). Consequently, this time is a difficult one for many teenagers who find themselves confronting social challenges that were unknown in elementary school. While most young people face some difficulty, youth who belong to one or more minority populations often face additional risks.
In adolescence, as with childhood, children actively organize, construct and transform information from the cultural environment into the concepts about masculinity, femininity, and gender-appropriate behavior. During the conformity of gender role development, young men are encouraged to suppress feelings and be emotionally uninvolved while remaining socially aggressive, while young women are encouraged to control aggression and self-assertion (Lerner & Steinberg, 2004). At the conscientious level of gender role development, the individual make a conscious effort to evaluate internalized values through cultural gender role expectations; individuals critically evaluate the deviation of personal values from societal values, thus beginning the process whereby agency and communion become balanced.
For many adolescents, the uncertainties, conflicting demands, and withdrawal of adult and community support are predictors of significant problems. Much has been written about how difficult the adolescent years are for girls, as they are more likely than boys to experience depression, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. However, the suicide rate and rate of violence in teenage boys is far greater than for girls (Sternhiemer, 2007). This could partially be seen as an effect of the stringent rules placed on boys during their years of development and adherence to gender conformity, which traditionally does not allow males to seek help, explore themselves, or be expressive.
Just as the saying goes “there is more than one way to skin a cat,” there is more than one way to raise a child.
The beauty and pain of this world is that we are all different. Evolution as human can continue only if we are tolerant of those that are different. Throughout intermediary periods of a lifetime, which include graduation, first love, career management, marriage, and eventually old age, it becomes important to realize that men and women have more similarities than differences. If society allows children to explore a variety of characteristics, it will strengthen their self-belief and provide them with unlimited
confidence.

Sources: Alfieri, T., Ruble, D. & Higgins, E. (1996). Gender stereotypes during adolescence: Developmental changes and the transition to junior high school. Developmental Psychology, 32 (6), 1129 – 1137.
Beal, Carole R. Boys and Girls: The Development of Gender Roles. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1994. Bumpus, M., Crouter, A., & McHale, S. (2001). Parental autonomy granting during adolescence : Exploring gender differences in context. Developmental Psychology, 37 (2), 163 – 173. Carr, C. L. (1998) Tomboy resistance and conformity: Agency in social psychological gender theory. Gender and society, 12(5), 528–553 Ge, X., Conger, R., & Elder Jr., G. (2001). Pubertal transition, stressful life events, and the emergence of gender differences in adolescent depressive symptoms. Developmental Psychology, 37 (3), 404 – 417. Huffaker, D. A., and Calvert, S. L. (2005). Gender, identity, and language use in teenage blogs. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 10(2), article 1. http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol10/issue2/huffaker.html Lerner, R. M., & Steinberg, L. D. (2004). Handbook of adolescent psychology. N: Wiley. Retrieved from http://books.google.com/books?id=_wXasY1HyAYC&pg=PA331&lpg=PA331&dq=Grotevant, 1998&source=bl&ots=DR-tbW5PTv&sig=98edsxxvWVuGA1sGPS8gr5hkpqI&hl=en&ei=bpflTorSCMKhtwf-1fH1BA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA
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West, C. & Zimmerman, D.H. (1987) Doing gender. Gender and society, 1(2), 125–151.