11/23/2010
Katt’s Soap Opera
Dear Katt, It has been brought to my attention; that the past motion pictures you have acted in have not been as successful as we both thought. This in no way shape or form has any thing to do with your comic routines, as we both know they are a huge success and growing ever more popular day by day. The American public loves who you are, and what you stand for although my sources tell me that your acting needs some polishing up. This is what the people want and being on top as an actor and a comedian the sky is the limit for Katt Williams. This is not as big of a deal as it sounds. I have pulled some strings and have landed you an audition on Broadway. I know Katt Williams on Broadway? Yes this lead role is perfect for you it allows you to use your natural funny and mix it with some real acting. Soap Opera, David Ives doesn’t sound like the funniest play ever. You state in stand up you can’t judge a book by its cover the same goes for plays. This is exactly what your career is in dire need of. Let me give you some background on this play. Your character will be a washing-machine repairman who falls in love with a Maypole Ocean IT-40 washing-machine. When I say falls in love I mean he is passionately in love with this inanimate object. He loves this particular machine because he is a dirty man, as his mother would say, and “the machine was here to cleanse me (1145). As he becomes more involved with this machine, he begins to feel guilty, and decides to break the news to his girlfriend Mabel. There are some similarities with his girlfriend and this washing-machine, one is their name are very similar Mable and Maypole. When Manny musters up the courage to tell her she presents him with a decision “me or machine. Earth or Ocean” (1146). To keep it in traditional comic humor he chooses the machine. Once Mabel is gone he gets so washed up in this machine; they begin to carry conversations with each other. This lead roll will be perfect for you because of all you standup skits you do and the hilarious way you give objects human characteristics. Manny receives his mom’s Maypole after she passes away. As time passes they soon are in college. Mabel soon comes around trying to re-spark their old flame. Manny is becoming a washing-machine repair man and still wants nothing to do with Mabel or her advances towards him. Manny’s life starts to fall apart just like an unbalanced washing-machine; due to his obsession with his Maypole Ocean IT-40. He thinks, “Nobody understood. But who understood Romeo and Juliet, Or Tristan and Isolde, or Lewis and Clark?”(1148). Throughout all of this Manny and the Maypole are still in love, but one day Manny realizes that he is not actually in love with a machine he love’s Mabel. Manny returns to Mabel just like the delicate cycle slow and timid at first then every thing is full cycle. The washing-machine soon finds out about Manny and Mable; the washer doesn’t want to be lonely. She demands that he buy her a dryer as a companion, although Manny does not like this idea so he does nothing about it. The machine pleas to be destroyed if it cannot have a dryer but Manny cannot part with it. The Machine then finds love from a Maitre’d that it had seen before with Manny. The Drama ends and all are content on how things cycled out.
Katt this play is your custom tailored pimp suit that’s going to get you your swagger back. The Repairman, Manny, could be your cousin he is a funny guy who loves two things just as we all know you love someone named Marry Jane but he just cannot decide which one he wants to be with. This play is for a more mature audience just as your movies and comic tours are. Ives chose his diction carefully and the entire script is lined with sexual undertones that I know you will perform perfectly. We all know how you hate the sappy love stories that you poke fun of while you are on stage and this entire play is somewhat a parody of Romeo and Juliet and Oedipus Rex. With elements of both of those tragedies cycled in to a comedy.
I have been your agent for some time now and as soon as this opening was offered to me you were the first on my list. Your already strong comedian base will only grow and your acting skills will bloom. If you take this opportunity you will be higher than ever before, as a comedian and actor. The entertainment business will be in your corner throughout the entire process. I know that you have elements that this play needs to be a sell out success. I hope to hear back from you soon.
Your agent
smokey
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