Kite Runner

ENG4U
Role of Fathers in The Novel A bond so cherished and sought after, may not always be one of love, but one filled with pain and longing. The relationship between a father and a son helps prepare a boy to understand right from wrong. Khaled Hosseini in, The Kite Runner, uses the complex emotional bond between fathers and sons to demonstrate the necessity of an empathetic fatherly figure. The relationships that clearly demonstrate this need for a fatherly figure are between Baba and Amir, Hassan and Sohrab, and Amir and Sohrab. To begin, the strained relationship between Amir, the protagonist, and Baba, his father, as well as the events influenced by this relationship, demonstrates the necessity of a fatherly figure in one’s life. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is a well-known expression that holds true for many father and son relationships; however, this is not the case for Amir and Baba. In terms of father-son relationships, the father is a very important role model for his son, and every boy needs a fatherly figure. Baba, however, is not there for Amir because he does not understand why Amir is not exactly like him. Baba speaks to Rahim Khan, his best friend and business partner, about his confusion with Amir, and does not understand why his son’s interests are not similar to his own: “He’s always buried in those books or shuffling around the house like he’s lost in some dream…I wasn’t like that.’ Baba sounded frustrated, almost angry” (Hosseini, 23). Baba is actually angry that his son is not a reflection of himself because he wants a son to carry on his name, his machismo, and his business, but he will not even take the time to develop a bond with his son. Baba is very emotionally distant from his son because he feels that there is no real connection between the two of them other than Amir coming “out of” Baba’s wife: “If I hadn’t seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I’d never believe he’s my son” (Hosseini, 25). He does not put forth much effort towards forming a bond with Amir during his childhood, because the emotional detachment prevents him from providing the fatherly figure Amir needed in his life.
Secondly, the relationship between Hassan and his son Sohrab, demonstrates the necessity of an empathetic father, because it shows life where a relationship between father and son can develop. The relationship between Hassan and his son Sohrab is completely juxtaposed to Amir’s relationship with Baba, and their family acts as a foil to Amir’s, promoting the theme of the necessity of an empathetic father. Hassan listens to his son, plays with him, enjoys spending time with him, and really understands him. He takes his son’s feelings into account. Sohrab has a connection with his father and enjoys his early years spent with Hassan, whereas Amir’s early years are spent trying to get his father’s attention and make his father proud of him. Amir dedicates his childhood to futile attempts of creating a bond with his father, while Sohrab’s bond is nurtured by his father as well as Sohrab himself. Sohrab has his father’s love, so he continues in life as a good boy, who believes in what is right, whereas Amir constantly strives without success for his father’s love, which leads him to carrying out very malicious actions with enormous consequences. In specific relation to these two father-son relationships, Hassan is a foil to Baba while Sohrab is a foil to Amir. Hassan and Baba are both proud, strong men who stand up for what is good and right in the world. Baba puts his own life in danger to save a woman from being raped by a soldier when they are attempting to escape Kabul: “Tell him I’ll take a thousand of his bullets before I let this indecency take place” (Hosseini, 122). Hassan also puts his own life in danger to get a kite for Amir, because he knows how much he wants it. Hassan runs the losing kite for Amir, finds it in an alley where he gets jumped by Assef and his goons and then makes the choice to put his Amir above himself: “Today, it’s only going to cost you that blue kite. A fair deal, boys, isn’t it?’ I could see the fear creeping into Hassan’s eyes, but he shook his head… ‘This is his kite’… ‘I’ve changed my mind,’ Assef said. ‘I’m letting you keep this kite…so it will always remind you of what I’m about to do” (Hosseini, 77-78). Both Baba and Hassan sacrifice themselves for what they think is right, demonstrating that they are both well-intentioned people; however, Baba doesn’t have the same compassion and understanding towards his son that Hassan has. Baba does not attempt to start a relationship with Amir during his childhood because there were no common interests; however, the point of being an understanding fatherly figure is encouraging and helping your son, despite the differences between you. To put matters in a simpler way, Hassan creates a relationship between him and his son, allowing his son to grow as a better person; while Baba neglects his son, causing him to go to great lengths to capture his father’s love. Amir ends up betraying his best friend to achieve this goal which sparks the guilt that afflicts him for the rest of his life. Baba neglecting Amir was the spark that ignited Amir’s actions towards the betrayal of Hassan, and ultimately the beginning of his journey back to Kabul to save Sohrab. In summary, Hassan and Sohrab’s relationship demonstrates the necessity of an empathetic fatherly figure in one’s life because they highlight the flaws in Baba and Amir’s relationship, showing how to be a compassionate father, and how nurturing can benefit a child more than depriving can. Most significantly, the relationship between Amir and Sohrab demonstrates the necessity of an empathetic fatherly figure in one’s life, because it shows Amir alternating between Hassan’s and his own father’s parenting styles. When Sohrab is ten years old, his mother and father are killed and he is sent to live in an orphanage. After living in the orphanage for a few months he is taken in by Assef, the man who raped Sohrab’s father Hassan, and begins to do the same to him. Because of this past, Sohrab fears nothing worse than orphanages and the horrors they represent. Eventually Amir saves Sohrab and takes him away with him, to a hotel. Amir tries to connect with Sohrab and “fill in” as his dad; however, Sohrab is attempting to recover from the loss of his parents, as well as the abuse he suffered from Assef. The difficult time he’s going through means just isn’t ready to call someone else his father yet. Amir continues to try to be this substitute Hassan for Sohrab but it just isn’t working and he isn’t connecting to Sohrab the way he wants to. During this time he is also trying to secure a passport and adoption papers for Sohrab but there are some technicalities. After hearing what an adoption agent has to say, Amir makes a quick and rash decision to tell Sohrab that he may have to go back to an orphanage in order to be adopted, and Sohrab completely rejects the idea: “You mean an orphanage?’ It would only be for a little while.’ ‘No,’ he said. ‘No please.’… ‘You promised you’d never put me in one of those places, Amir Agha’… [Sohrab’s] voice was breaking, tears pooling in his eyes” (Hosseini, 358). Sohrab hates orphanages because they represent everything he blames them for the turmoil he’s had to put up with in his life. Amir knows how much he hates orphanages but he chooses to adopt his father’s parenting style and not be sensitive to Sohrab’s feelings. He even reassures himself that what he is doing is right with something he once heard his father say: “I waited, rocked him until his breathing slowed and his body slackened. I remember something… That’s how children deal with terror. They fall asleep” (Hosseini, 359). Amir changes from Hassan’s parenting style to Baba’s parenting style; from this caring father to one who believes the child should have to learn on their own. Amir puts Hassan to sleep right after breaking his heart and then Amir himself, proceeds to go to sleep. He wakes up to a phone call a few hours later and finds Sohrab in the bathtub, with his wrists slit. Sohrab had been opening up to Amir when he was treating him the same way Hassan had, but as soon as he neglected Sohrab, just as Amir himself had been neglected by Baba, awful things happened, just like they did with Amir. However, Amir isn’t an awful parent; he still tries to connect with Sohrab because he does love and care for him. At the end of the novel, Amir takes Hassan to Lake Elizabeth Park in Fremont and buys a kite which he flies with Sohrab. Amir gets into a kite-fight with another person and cuts down their kite, helping Sohrab relive the relationship he had with his father, and giving hope to Amir and Sohrab’s relationship. To summarize, the relationship between Amir and Sohrab demonstrates the necessity of an empathetic fatherly figure because it was parallel to the relationship between Baba and Amir, reinforcing the notion that awful things happen to children when their “fatherly figure” doesn’t understand them, as demonstrated by Amir’s betrayal of Hassan and Sohrab’s attempt to take his own life. The relationship also mirrored Hassan and Sohrab’s relationship when Amir finally gets Sohrab to start opening up when they go kite-fighting, ending the book with hope because Amir has learned the meaning of being a true, empathetic fatherly figure. Never giving up hope. In conclusion, Khaled Hosseini uses the love, tension and hardships between fathers and sons to demonstrate the necessity of an empathetic fatherly figure in one’s life. He demonstrates this through the far from perfect relationship between Baba and Amir in contrast to the foil relationship between Hassan and his son Sohrab. These relationships show how neglect and disregard for one’s feelings can lead a person to make the wrong decisions for a father’s love, as well as demonstrate how a functioning father-son relationship should be like. Most importantly, the relationship between Amir and Sohrab greatly reinforce the lesson that a father’s neglect can cause bad decisions as well as show how a son’s happiness requires a father’s help. Truly, an empathetic fatherly figure is necessary in properly raising a son.