language and social relations

Presentation language and social relations 1. Language and being social
a) How language can make or ruin a relationship
b) How can you be more social and popular through language (wat kan je met taal doen om te zorgen dat je meer sociaal bent zeg maar)
c) How can one’s body language make them more socially attractive (als die term überhaupt bestaat en geen seksistische ondertoon heeft) like expression, and how the lacking or overusing of expression might cause misunderstandings between people.
d) Activity : piece of text; make it more socially acceptable in order to make the person in the text a more social person (like a tweet about the most horrible day of your life without swearing and within 140 signs)
2. Language within social classes
a) Differences between social classes within their spoken and written language
b) Class aspiration
c) Activity: the people in this piece of text are of what social class?
3. Language and different genders
a) How do women talk
b) How do men talk
c) How does one approach the different gender
i) The approach of a female towards a male ii) The approach of a male towards a female
d) Body language and flirting
e) Activity : give a simple text with a description of a person, and transform it as if the person described is either a woman or a man (give each group one of these)
4. Language and different ages
a) When we were younger we approached people in different ways than we do now, for example a fifth grader would be like a grown-up person to us back then while now we don’t think of ourselves as people who should be spoken to as grown-up persons
b) We also tend to speak differently to either younger or older people
c) Also we notice that language has evolved by looking at how the different generations speak. Like our grandparents talk differently compared to our parents, and to us, and to the now primary school children.
d) Activity: how would change your tone, body language and spoken text when talking to:
i) Eldery people ii) Adults, the same age as your parents are iii) The people of your age iv) Primary school children
v) Toddlers
5. Language and social media
a) How has social media changed our language?
i) Texting language ii) Shortened
b) Social media has caused a lot of misconceptions as well, since you cannot see expression or body language or hear the tone of their voice when receiving an e-mail or whatsapp message of someone
i) Skype ii) Smileys iii) Video messages iv) Voice recordings
c) Activities
i) How do the following types of social media try to insert aspects like expression, tone and body language in their medium? ii) Try to “uitbeelden” the following whatsapp smileys (to make them aware of the fact that even the smileys won’t come close to the real expressions of human faces) and tell them in what kind of texting situations you would use them.

Language and being social
Imagine meeting someone for the first time, the first thing you’ll notice about this person is how he or she looks. Then you look at their language, starting with body language. This includes for example their facial expression and the way they stand. From these two you can see whether or not the person is confident and relaxed and you might be able to tell something about their mood. You might make a lot of friends if your body language is inviting, when other people who are only looking at their phones, legs and/ or arms crossed might not. You can not only use body language in your advantage when it comes to friends and acquaintances, but also to get things you need in a career. For example, a job interview. Imagine a person who is standing up straight, hands in his pockets and a confident look on his face. Now imagine a person who is looking down, head bend down and crossed arms. I think we can all agree on the fact that the first person will have a way bigger chance of getting the job then the second person, even if the second person has better qualities and would have had a bigger chance of getting the job if only based on those qualities.
Then, of course, you have the way people speak, so what they say and how they say it, which gives you a good first (or second, depends on how you look at it) impression. You listen to the tone of their voice, the words they use etcetera. You might find out that their body language does not always tell the same thing as their spoken language. For example someone might look very cute and loveable but when he or she starts talking it is only gossip, which does not make them likeable. Another good example is when you first hear a person talking when you are on the phone with this person, so you don’t know what this person looks like. You might create an image of that person that might be totally different to what the person looks like in real life. In this way, coming back to the job interviews, some people may take advantage of this. Because if someone has a very strong and authorial voice, but looks like a ‘grey mouse’ so to say, it might be in his or her advantage to have a chat with their ‘to be’- boss first, over the phone, so that the first impression is made, which may lead to a bigger chance to be given the job, where he or she might have been sent away immediately as soon as they had walked in to the interviewers office. So, by changing your spoken language and body language in to something appropriate for the situation you might be thought of as a very likeable person and you might even get the job you were applying for.
A popular person used to be someone with a sociable and friendly language and kind, facial expressions. The person did not have to be extremely handsome or pretty, everyone would simply like them because they were friendly, genuine and helpful. For some reason this concept of a ‘’popular person’’ has changed. It is not about their language anymore, someone is now considered popular when their outer appearance is good, though their facial expressions might be far away from happy and friendly. Also for someone reason, especially guys, are considered tougher and therefore more popular, when their language is rude and consists of a lot of swearing. For girls, they don’t have to swear an awful lot in order to be popular: the use of an overkill of abbreviations is enough. This change in popularity is mainly due to social media, which we will discuss later.

Language and social class
When sociologists talk of social class, they refer to “a group of individuals who occupy a similar position in the economic system of production.” We have five different social classes, from high to low: Upper class (Elite), upper middle class, lower middle class, working class and poor.
Differences between social classes within their spoken language.
One of the fundamental things researchers found was that class- and language differences are related. Members of the poor and the working class tend to speak less standard language, while the lower, middle, and upper middle class will in turn speak closer to the standard English language. However, the upper class, even members of the upper middle class, may often speak 'less' standard than the middle class, this is why they are sometimes referred to as ‘posh’. There are multiple causes for this, including: a better / lack of education, better world knowledge, more money etc.
Bristolian dialect
Older Bristolians and those that live in areas which have had less influence from students and immigration, speak a distinctive dialect of English, known as the Bristolian dialect. Outsiders may refer to it as ‘’farmer speech’’, because they have a bit of an unusual way of changing words and sentences a bit.
One feature is the addition of S to verbs in the first and third person. Just as ‘’he goes’’, they say ‘’I goes’’ and ‘’they goes’’. Also the H is often dropped at the beginning of a word. Bristolians often add words like "mind", "look" or "see" to the end of sentences, for example: "I'm not doing that, mind." The word "like" may be placed in the middle of a sentence, a feature that has become more common throughout the rest of the country. Another Bristolian feature is the addition of "to" in questions relating to direction or orientation. For example, "Where’s that?" would become "Where’s that to?" and "Where’s the park?" would become "Where’s the park to?" The most unusual feature of this dialect, unique to Bristol, is the Bristol L (or referred to as the Terminal L), in which an L sound is attached to words that end with a letter a. Additionally, -al is drawn out as -awl, and an l may be added within a word with an aw. So "area" becomes "areawl", "cereal" becomes "cereawl", "drawing" becomes "drawling" etc. This may lead to confusions between expressions like area engineer and aerial engineer which in "Bristle" sound identical. Other examples include 'Americawl' and 'Canadawl', and, when unsure, the answer 'I have no ideal'. In the same way, the Swedish Ikea is known by some as "Ikeawl", and Asda supermarket as "Asdawl". This is how the city's name evolved from Brycgstow to have a final 'L' sound: Bristol.
This table gives a quick overview of the difference between the lower class English and the standard (working class) English.

The differences in grammar between the two examples of speech are referred to as differences between social class dialects, which are called sociolects.

Class aspiration
You may all know the phrase ‘aspiration’, but for the ones that don’t, an aspiration means a strong desire, longing, or aim, or an ambition. So class aspiration means to want to belong to another (usually higher) class. Studies have shown that social aspirations influence speech patterns. This is also true of class aspirations. In the process of wishing to be associated with a certain class (usually the upper class and upper middle class) people who are moving in that direction socio-economically will adjust their speech patterns to sound like them. However, not being native upper class speakers, they often hypercorrect, which involves overcorrecting their speech to the point of introducing new errors. The same is true for individuals moving down in socio-economic status.

Social Structures:
Masculinity refers to qualities and behaviours judged by a culture to be associated with or appropriate to men and boys. It is different from maleness because maleness is biological and psychological classification. Masculinity principally refers to socially acquired traits and secondary sex characteristics. Femininity refers to qualities and behaviours judged by a culture to be associated with or appropriate to woman and girls.

The main reason that men and women communicate so differently is because they view the world very differently.
Men view the world very much as hunters. They need to find their prey, whether it’s more money, a new job, a car, a woman.., and once they’ve identified where their prey is and how to get it, they won’t, focus on anything else.
Women do not like this because they do not understand how men think. Because a man can become so focused on something, he won’t pay attention to things that she considers important, like picking up his socks, taking the garbage out and remembering important dates, (like anniversaries and birthdays).

Ways in which men and woman communicate
Minimal response: Minimal response is one of the ways in which communicative behaviour of men and women differ. Women have response frequently when they have a conversation. For example paralinguistic features; such as ‘hmmm’ and ‘yeah’, which associated with sympathy. Men have response less than woman when they have a conversation. They generally use ‘mmhm’ and ‘yeah’ less frequently.

Arguments:
Woman often try to get their point across by asking questions. Rhetorical and informative.
Men are often simple and direct. They are very straightforward in contrast to woman’s questions. During arguments, men want to be correct and are not concerned about anyone’s feeling. This upsets woman. Men do not like questions, and they react by closing down emotionally.

Apologising:
Women apologise because they try to create or maintain connections. Men often do not want to apologise because they are concerned with what might happen to them; it might lower them to a lower position. They do not want this, because it wanting to be more important and a leader, is a basic human instinct.
After arguments, if a man fears losing his power, he avoids apologising. A woman might consider this as insensitive behaviour, and become angry again.

Solving problems
Men and woman approach an analytical discussion differently.
Men focus on facts and search for immediate solutions. And their goal is to take action.
Women want to talk about their problems with other and share their feelings and experiences. An example is when men and women want to buy a new car. Men look at car reviews online but woman ask their friends what cars they like.
Women also tend to think about former experiences, for example the first time she bought a new car and how exciting it was.

Getting your way
Woman use a kind of ‘conversational mode’, in which they ask a lot of questions. Their goal is to get others to agree by asking questions. Men will make statements instead of directions. They want to get their way directly and quickly. Men often think that the approach of woman is manipulation.

Talking
Most people think that woman talk way more than men do. However, this is not true. Research has shown that there is no big difference in the amount of words spoken by men and woman . But men tend to use more words at a time.
The big difference is WHEN men and woman talk. Women spend more time talking to their friends and family showing support and discussing things that have happened.
Men tend to talk more at work and in social settings. Their main goal is to exchange useful information.

(Hier misschien een activiteit: elk groepje een way of communicating geven, en ze een klein gesprek te laten schrijven gebaseerd op de info die hierboven staat. Misschien meisjes als man en jongens als vrouw.)

Body language and flirting:

Only 7% of communication is verbal communication. (see note) 38% of it depends on our intonation, or the sound of our voice. For instance: A shaky, uneven voice may suggest that a person is shy, intimidated, or dishonest. A clear, loud voice may indicate that a person is confident. The largest chunk of communication is body language, which takes up the remaining 55%. These statistics show that a person who knows how to control their body and voice is considered more appealing than someone who knows only a mouthful of pick-up lines and crowd pleasers. The impression we make on others starts not when we first open our mouth, but with our posture, breathing, appearance, and movement.
People become at ease with others when they find the other person pleasant. People appear pleasant as a result of showing interest in others via their body language cues. Some body language is universal among us, like having shaky hands when someone is angry of nervous. Or a red face when someone is shy or angry.

Women are better at reading body language. In a research, participants asked to tell what happened in a silent movie. 87% of woman could guess what was happening, but only 43% of men could guess it correctly. Women are better at this, because their brain is more active while they are evaluating people’s behaviour. In a MRIis shown that woman have 14-16 active brain areas when evaluating behaviour. Men only had 4-6.

Men are also not as expressive as women are. Women make approximately 6 facial expressions in 10 seconds, and men only 2.

Men are seen more charming when they mirror their partner’s body language, and women are more expressive. The more couples mirror each other, the more they tend to get along. An interesting fact is that this is why old married couples look like each other, it is because they picked up on each other’s facial expression, and get the same wrinkles and muscle definition.

Significance of flirting techniques

Sideway glance over raised shoulders: It highlights the curves and roundness of the female face, which signifies estrogen.

Toss hair or touch neck: This exposes armpits which release sex hormones, it highlights healthy hair and also shows the curvature of the neck.

Exposing limbs/body parts: This shows sexual submission.

Plucking eyebrows higher: This way women look more helpless. Helpless causes a hormone release in a men’s brain that is associated with protecting and defending a female.

Social media

How do social media change our language?

The Oxford English Dictionary expands every year, and every year it expands to include new words which were previously marked as social media words or slang. Vernacular words enter the dictionary regularly. In 2013 for example, the words ‘tweet’, ‘follow’ and ‘follower’ have been adjusted in the Oxfords English dictionary as nouns and as verbs. This shows that more and more people are using language reflecting social media.

The main effect of social media is that sentences and phrases have become shorter. By using Facebook as a noun and a verb, you can change a sentence from “I will contact her via Facebook” to “I will Facebook her”. Social media also affects us in the way we speak. On twitter for example you are only allowed to use 140 characters per tweet. This way you are forced to be more straightforward and get your message across in just a few words.

On the other hand, people on social media do not really pay attention to grammar. They confuse you’re/our and then/than to/two/too. You can often see that people make these mistakes and are not aware of it. This is of course a negative effect.

Texting language

Schoolchildren as young as eight are showing a growing proficiency in bilingualism, according to a recent poll of UK parents and teachers. The only hitch? They’re bilingual in English and "text-speak" – the phonetic or acronymic bites of language such as “L8R” or “LOL.”

Schoolchildren are showing a growth in bilingualism, according to research in the UK. However, they are bilingual in English and in text-speak- the phonetic or acronymic bites from the English language. It is the language used in texts and social media. A sponsored poll of 500 parents and teachers has shown that two-in-three teachers regularly find text-speak in pupils’ homework. Over 75% of parents say that they often have to ask their children what their text speak means in texts and emails from their children.

Misconceptions

While texting with people, you cannot here their tone of their voice when they say something. You can’t see their facial expression either when you text someone. This may lead to misconceptions. People may get angry because you said something to them, even though you meant it as a joke. They could not see your facial expression. This is why many people use smileys while they are talking to people through texts or social media.
By using Skype you can talk to someone while also using your cam. This way you can talk to someone as if they were sitting in the same room as you. Also now you can hear their voice, and you can see their facial expressions, so there is nearly no possibility of not understanding someone correctly.

Language and different ages
Talking to different age groups
We don’t talk to elderly in the same way we talk to toddlers, mainly because of the age difference. While you have to use simpler language with toddlers, you need to be more respectful and maybe use a more difficult language with older people. This is of course because older people understand difficult language while young children don’t, but also because the older you get, the more things you get know about life. You won’t be talking about politics to your five year old brother, but it’s more likely to discuss that with, for example, your business partner. This is because they able to talk about politics, with their knowledge and understanding, and also because they are interested in it. Even if you explain the current political situation to young children, and even if they would understand it in the end, you could never have a real conversation about it with them, because they wouldn’t bother thinking hard about it.
But it’s not only the different subjects we discuss with different ages, it’s also your way of speaking to them. For example, if you want to tell someone that dinner is ready, you will use different words for different age groups. For a child of around 8 you would simply say: Dinner’s ready, come and eat with us (maybe something like ; clean up your toys before you come), but to for example your grandmother you will have to be more polite, and put it in a question, or just sort of give them to option to come and eat, although they will be coming anyway.
Evolution of language used by different age groups over time
Another thing we see nowadays is that the age group of teenagers nowadays have a completely different way of speaking to each other compared to the teenagers of 1950. We can discuss a couple of reasons why this evolution of the language might be happening, starting with the different ways of raising our children. In the 1900’s, parents were generally a lot stricter in the use of language of their children. For example, if we look at the Dutch language, a lot of children nowadays can call their parents ‘je’ or ‘jij’. This informal way of speaking to our parents wasn’t as common four or five decades ago, where a lot of children had to call their parents ‘U’ (a more formal Dutch word of speaking to someone, mostly used nowadays for elderly or older people that are not your parents). Because of this, the generation of that time, that is now around 40/ 50, so about our parents’ age, has a different way of speaking than we will have when we are about that age.
Activity:
How would change your tone, body language and spoken text when talking to: i Elderly people ii Adults, the same age as your parents are iii The people of your age iv Primary school children v Toddlers

Language and gender
Gender is not something we are born with, not something we have. It is what we do, and what we perform. This also shows in our language, body language as well as spoken language.

How do men talk and behave in conversations?
Men try to avoid eye contact, this might be because eye contact might involve feeling in this conversation and this is often not what men try to achieve.
They also try to talk for status. Men like to reassure everyone of their status and reputation.
Also the structure of a conversation about an issue that had occurred at work might be very different from the womens structure. Men will often start with stating their decision, only after which they will tell you why they made this decision. Their structure is decision – discussion.
In general men will be more talkative and confident in public and more quiet in private.
Men also don’t really mind to argue about a problem, they might even consider it funny to do so.
Men are more direct in their speech and younger men might be more rude and aggressive in their language.

On the other side; how to women talk and behave in conversations?
Women tend to try and reach someone’s feelings more and therefore make eye-contact with their conversation partner. They talk for solidarity, instead of status, they strive for unity of feelings and opinions, and might therefore make concessions to the person they are talking to. Their main goal in this is often not to disappoint or offend anyone, since they don’t want arguments. Women might be quiet in public and talkative in private, this is because they are often more engaged in one’s feelings and this is easier in private situations.
Women are often very indirect and milder in their speech.