For people aged 10-14, suicide was the third leading cause of death within the United States. Also, suicide was the second leading cause of death for the age groups, 15-24 and 25-34 (CDC, 2015). Additionally, there were more suicides in 2013 compared to 2005 within the age gap 15-34 (CDC, 2005, 2013). The prevalence of suicide within this age group is very alarming. The fact that younger people are more likely to commit suicide than the rest of the age groups should be a red flag for public health officials. Interestingly enough, in 2013, suicide was promoted to the second leading cause of death in the age group 15-24, as compared to the third leading cause of death in that age group for years prior (CDC, 2010, …show more content…
Primarily, I tried to find better wording for the paragraph that overused the word “very”. I also tried to take out as much facts as I could, but I felt that the paper would be less informative if I took out too much data. Furthermore, I reworded a few sentences that were pointed out by my peer.
The person who reviewed my paper did not say anything about finding more research, so I did not find any new resources to fill in. The person also said that I might have used a little too much information in my essay. I also think I used enough sources for the assignment, because I ended up using more peer-reviewed sources than what was required. If needed, I would able to pull more information from those sources and put it into this essay to further support my ideas.
I did proofread and corrected mistakes that I caught. I even fixed the errors that my peer has pointed out to me on my physical copy of the first draft. I even put in into websites that check for grammar and spelling errors to help me catch what I did not see during my proofreading. I tried my best to limit words that I use a lot, however, I am not really a fancy writer. I really like a simple approach to writing and I am not a big fan of flossy writing. However, I did replace words that were over repeated within a paragraph. My peer also noticed this, so I made sure to make those