Legalizing Same-Sex Marriages

Legalizing Same-sex Marriages
Trista Warren
COM/220
February 7, 2010
Ms. Linda Leeson Oldenburg

Congressman Patrick J. Kennedy made a strong statement and many enemies when he was quoted in The Providence Journal saying: “I see the policy of opposing same-sex marriages or unions, whatever you call it, as bigotry or discrimination” (Corkery, 2003, p. A.01). Many consider marriage to be a union between a man and a woman; while others believe marriage to be about love, friendship, and commitment between two individuals, not their gender. Many countries allow same-sex marriages, while some are so against it that they will sentence the individuals in same-sex relationships to torture and death. There are no laws stating that a Christian and a Jew cannot be wed. Homosexuals should be given the same freedom as everyone else. Serial killers and child molesters are allowed to get married while in prison, why are law-abiding homosexuals not given that same benefit? At one point in history, it was illegal for interracial marriages. If society can move beyond the senselessness of being against interracial marriages; why can it not progress against same-sex marriages? Banning same-sex marriages is a form of discrimination. A lot of gays and lesbians just want the freedom to and opportunity to be married. Same-sex marriages should be allowed because the views of marriage have changed throughout the years; many countries and states are allowing same-sex marriages; saying no is a form of discrimination; and because marriage should be about love and commitment between two individuals not based off of gender and religion. The meaning of marriage has changed drastically throughout the years. Arranged marriages for convenience were more common than for love. Larry Peterson, Ph.D., a professor who chairs the Department of History at North Dakota State University, states: “In 1600, marriage for almost all Europeans and Europeans in America was primarily an economic arrangement negotiated between families in which family considerations of status, future economic stability, and prosperity were the most important considerations in selecting a potential spouse. From the 1690s to the 1870s, “wife sale” was common in rural and small-town England. To divorce his wife, a husband could present her with a rope around her neck in a public sale to another man (Peterson, 1997)”. Many people today would think these examples to be cold, unfeeling, and even barbaric. Even if there solution to divorce was cheaper, it was still a very cold and unfeeling process. Women had little to no rights at all. But times have changed and views on marriage changed again in the late 1930s to 1995. According to Peterson (1997), “As late as 1930, twelve states allowed boys as young as 14 and girls as young as 12 to marry with parental consent. By 1995, most Americans consider the primary purpose of marriage to be a commitment to emotional and psychological support between two individuals” (Peterson, 1997). The timeline below indicates the timeline give by Peterson (1997):

As we can see by the timeline, the views of marriage have change drastically over the years. These are just a few of the different ways the views on marriage have changed. We, as a society, need to ask ourselves: Why are we fighting something that was actually blessed in the 5th-14th centuries? Why fight it? A lot of gays and lesbians just want the freedom and opportunity to get married. In 2004, the first same-sex marriage was legally made in America. Not only have the views on marriage changed through-out the years, but the laws allowing same-sex marriage has changed. Many countries have changed there laws regarding same-sex marriages. In some countries and states, same-sex marriages are allowed and in others they are punished. For example, in “Iran, the punishment for same-sex relations are death, prison, and torture; while in Spain, same-sex marriages are legal” (Demian, 2009). In the United States, some states are already legalizing gay marriages. As of right now, five states allow same-sex marriages (Belge, 2010). In 2004, Massachusetts was the first state to allow same-sex marriages (CNN, 2004). As of January, 2010, New Hampshire allows same-sex marriages. Some states recognize same-sex marriages legally that are performed elsewhere (McFadden, 2008).
Five states recognize same-sex marriages, but ban them from being made in that state (Belge, 2010). If they are recognized them then they should be allowed to have the ceremony in that state. What is the purpose of saying: “We recognize the marriage as legal, but we will not allow you to marry in our state”? Is this not a contradiction? Seven states in the United States have what is called “civil unions” or “domestic partnerships” (Belge, 2010). Civil unions or domestic partnerships are like marriage but only at a state level; which means that federal taxes, for example, cannot be filed jointly. If a state has civil unions or domestic partnerships; then why do they not just allow same-sex marriages? It seems like it is just another way to fight the inevitable. Many states in the United States are banning same-sex marriages. There are still many countries that allow same-sex marriages or have no laws against them. The following graph, based off of information from the Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples, shows out of 142 countries; 70 countries have no laws against same-sex unions (Demian, 2009).

[pic] As you can see from the graft, more countries allow same-sex unions. Even though many countries and a few states allow same-sex marriages; there are many arguments against same-sex marriages that are even making some states “taking back” their acceptance of same-sex marriages. California is one example of this. California originally allowed same-sex marriage; then, six months after allowing it, decided it was going to ban same-sex marriages. California is one of the states that recognize same-sex marriages as legal if performed in another state. Overcoming the arguments against same-sex marriages is going to be the hardest task. One of the biggest arguments about same-sex marriages is that gay marriages are immoral (Bidstrup, 2009). How is it immoral to love someone of the same sex? Is it because the Bible says so? The United States of America is supposed to be freedom of religion, but we are letting one religion make our laws. How is that freedom of religion? By saying no to gay marriages, one is discriminating against religions that recognize homosexuality. By saying gay marriages are immoral and should not be allowed; that is following one religion’s view on what constitutes as marriage. This should not be allowed in a country that supposedly has a freedom of religion. Another argument is that marriage is a commitment between one man and one woman (Bidstrup, 2009). Who says marriage has to be between man and woman? Views on marriage have been changing for years. In the Mormon religion, one man is allowed to have up to ten wives. Is each union considered marriage? By following the one man and one woman rule; we are being disrespectful, not to mention discriminating against, to individuals who follow different beliefs. One argument is that “marriage is about procreation” or even that same-sex couples do not provide the right “environment to raise children in” (Bidstrup, 2009). Does this mean that a woman who decides she does not want children and gets her tubes tied is not allowed to get married? Or a man, who has had multiple hernia surgeries and is now sterile, is he no longer eligible to get married? This is argument implies that the only individuals that are allowed to get married are the ones that are fertile. That is not true, so homosexuals should be allowed to marry just as the infertile couples. Allowing same-sex marriages should also help in how many children get adopted, because they cannot procreate. Do convicted child molesters have the right environment to raise children? According to a behavior analysis on child molesters done by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI); “a preferential-introverted-type child molester will purposely marry just so they can have children to molest” (Lanning, 2001). How is this situation a better environment for children when they could live in a house with a same-sex couple who would love them and provide for them? A serial killer is allowed to get married while in prison, why are law-abiding homosexuals not given that same right? This is a common, and outraging, mistake. We are rewarding criminals with the opportunity to get married, yet at the same time we are punishing some law-abiding individuals solely because they are homosexual. If murderers, child molesters, rapists, even children are allowed to get married, why not allow a gay or lesbian couple? By not allowing same-sex marriages, it is a form of discrimination. By allowing homosexuals to have equal rights in everything but marriage is discrimination. Why do we discriminate against individuals based on their sexual orientation but not against people who commit crimes? To conclude, same-sex marriages should be allowed. The views on marriage have changed so much over the years; from bans on interracial marriages to the “wife sales” of the 17th century to the first legal gay marriage in 2004. Same-sex marriages are becoming legal in more countries and states each year; 70 out of 142 countries allow or have no law against same-sex marriages. It should not matter if it is a man and woman or two men or two women who want to be married. Marriage should be based off of love, friendship, and commitment; not the gender of the two individuals. Marriage should not be a privilege for only the “straight” people, but for everyone. If it is against the law for sexual orientation discrimination in the workplace; then why is there sexual orientation discrimination when it comes to marriage? We as society need to ask ourselves one question: Why are we discriminating against individuals for being in love and wanting to commit to each other through matrimony? We should stop the bans and allow everyone the freedom to marry whoever they want.

References

Belge, K. (2010). The Difference Between Marriage and Civil Unions. about.com. Retrieved from http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/unionvmarriage.htm
Belge, K. (2010). Where Can Gays Legally Marry?. about.com. Retrieved from http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/wheremarriage.htm
Bidstrup, Scott (2009, June 3). Gay Marriage, The Arguments And The Motives. Retrieved from http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm
CNN. (2004). Same-sex couples ready to make history in Massachusetts. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/05/17/mass.gay.marriage/index.html
Corkery, M. (2003, August 6). Kennedy likens Vatican stance on gay unions to 'bigotry '. The Providence Journal, p. A.01.
Demian (2009). Age of Consent Chart. Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples. Retrieved from http://buddybuddy.com/consent.html
Lanning, K. V. (2001). National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI). Retrieved from http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/publications/NC70.pdf
McFadden, R. D. (2008, January 1). State Court Recognizes Gay Marriages From Elsewhere New York Times. Retrieved from http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb?&did=1422531981&sid=1&Fmt=3&RQT=309&VName=PQD&clientId=13118
Peterson, L. R. (1997). The History of Marriage as an Institution. Retrieved from http://www.buddybuddy.com/peters-1.html

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In 2004, Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon were the first same-sex couple to be legally married in America.

As late as 1940, married women were not allowed to make a legal contract in twelve states.

Until 1662, there was no penalty for interracial marriages in any of the British colonies in North America. In 1662, Virginia doubled the fine for fornication between interracial couples.

As late as 1930, twelve states allowed boys as young as 14 and girls as young as 12 to marry (with parental consent).

From the 1690s to the 1870s, “wife sale” was common in rural and small-town England. To divorce his wife, a husband could present her with a rope around her neck in a public sale to another man.

In 1664, Maryland became the first colony to ban interracial marriages. By 1750, all southern colonies, plus Massachusetts and Pennsylvania outlawed interracial marriages.

In 1076, Pope Alexander II issued a decree prohibiting marriages between couples who were more closely related than 6th cousins.

From the 5th to the 14th centuries, the Roman Catholic Church conducted special ceremonies to bless same-sex unions which were almost identical for those to bless heterosexual unions. At the very least, these were spiritual, if not sexual, unions.

5th-14th 15th- 18th 19th- 21st Centuries Centuries Centuries

References: Belge, K. (2010). The Difference Between Marriage and Civil Unions. about.com. Retrieved from http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/unionvmarriage.htm Belge, K. (2010). Where Can Gays Legally Marry?. about.com. Retrieved from http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/wheremarriage.htm Bidstrup, Scott (2009, June 3). Gay Marriage, The Arguments And The Motives. Retrieved from http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm CNN. (2004). Same-sex couples ready to make history in Massachusetts. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/05/17/mass.gay.marriage/index.html Corkery, M. (2003, August 6). Kennedy likens Vatican stance on gay unions to 'bigotry '. The Providence Journal, p. A.01. Demian (2009). Age of Consent Chart. Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples. Retrieved from http://buddybuddy.com/consent.html Lanning, K. V. (2001). National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) McFadden, R. D. (2008, January 1). State Court Recognizes Gay Marriages From Elsewhere New York Times Peterson, L. R. (1997). The History of Marriage as an Institution. Retrieved from http://www.buddybuddy.com/peters-1.html