Leo Tolstoy's The Death Of Ivan Ilyich

In the novella, The Death of Ivan Ilyich, written by Leo Tolstoy, we read about a man who is suffering both mentally and physically when struggling to realize the inevitability of death. Ivan Ilyich realizes that he has not lived a moral life, and on his deathbed it registers with him that the only way to make death more acceptable and peaceful is to change his attitude towards both life and death significantly.
Throughout Ivan’s life, he has been conforming to societal conventions as opposed to his personal relationships. Most of his decisions in life have been first decided by his superiors then not really thought over by him. In chapter two of this novella, the book states that Praskovya Fedorovna fell in love with Ivan and although
he had no intentions on marrying anyone, or wasn’t in love with her, he still decided to because his superiors considered it the best thing to do. Another time that Ivan showed that he was conforming to societal conventions was in chapter 3 when he had decided to take a trip to St. Petersburg, and get a working position in any field that payed 5,000 rubles (Russian currency) a year. He obtained a good paying position in the Department of Justice. He then bought a house in St. Petersburg and decorated it to the satisfaction all of his superiors. This was around the time when he fell hanging curtains and hurt his side against the window pain. This is the main point in which he starts to become ill. But, when Ivan is on his deathbed he starts to realize that he has been living for everyone around him, has not done anything that mattered in life, and that his life has been full of mistakes that he could’ve prevented.
When Ivan first realizes all the mistakes he has made in life, he tries to defend it but realizes that, “There was nothing to defend”. He tries to justifies his “professional duties and the whole arrangement of his life and of his family, and all his social and official interest”, but they’re all false. In chapter 11 Ivan starts to question himself saying things like “What if my whole life has been wrong”? It occurs to Ivan that he has not spent his life as he should’ve done. He came to know that he has lived his life trying to go by what the most highly placed people considered good, instead of living by what is really right, and doing right by his family. He started to try and defend himself, but then realized “There was nothing to defend”. This made him observe everyone closely and re-evaluate his life, and see everything that he was doing wrong, and that made him hurt more for the moment.