Letter of Advice
DJMcCart
Being able to openly communicate with each other is not at all times the easiest thing to do, especially when an argument is involved and tempers are flaring. Marriage revolves around love, happiness, trust, and communication. There will be times when one of you will say and do the wrong thing and being able to get through it together will set you on the right path to a satisfying marriage. You will become your own little family once you say “I Do” and there will be a lot of outside help that will try to give you advice, but you need to follow your heart and do what is best for you and your spouse instead. Just remember the first 5 years are the hardest because you are both adjusting to a life as one instead separate.
Communication is a very big part of having a successful marriage and will be the one thing you will constantly have to work on. I know from experience how important this topic can be. My first marriage was lacking in it and it ended up being in divorce. I cannot stress how important it is to talk to each other whether it is verbal or nonverbal. Not many people realize how important nonverbal can be, whether it is as innocent as just walking into the house from work and you smile and wave or even give a kiss before relaxing or how you move your hands during an argument to try to get your point across the your spouse. Author Kathy Soles states, “In fact, researchers have found that you tend to rely more heavily on visual communication, rather than words, in times of stress” (2011). I am going to have to agree to this statement for the fact that when people do argue they use a lot of gestures so we tend to focus more on those then anything else. It also is not good if you end up miscommunicating with your gestures by saying one thing and then doing another. Your spouse could take it the wrong way and then the fight with just get to be ten times much worse than when it started. You can end up raking your hand through your hair as a way to
Being able to openly communicate with each other is not at all times the easiest thing to do, especially when an argument is involved and tempers are flaring. Marriage revolves around love, happiness, trust, and communication. There will be times when one of you will say and do the wrong thing and being able to get through it together will set you on the right path to a satisfying marriage. You will become your own little family once you say “I Do” and there will be a lot of outside help that will try to give you advice, but you need to follow your heart and do what is best for you and your spouse instead. Just remember the first 5 years are the hardest because you are both adjusting to a life as one instead separate.
Communication is a very big part of having a successful marriage and will be the one thing you will constantly have to work on. I know from experience how important this topic can be. My first marriage was lacking in it and it ended up being in divorce. I cannot stress how important it is to talk to each other whether it is verbal or nonverbal. Not many people realize how important nonverbal can be, whether it is as innocent as just walking into the house from work and you smile and wave or even give a kiss before relaxing or how you move your hands during an argument to try to get your point across the your spouse. Author Kathy Soles states, “In fact, researchers have found that you tend to rely more heavily on visual communication, rather than words, in times of stress” (2011). I am going to have to agree to this statement for the fact that when people do argue they use a lot of gestures so we tend to focus more on those then anything else. It also is not good if you end up miscommunicating with your gestures by saying one thing and then doing another. Your spouse could take it the wrong way and then the fight with just get to be ten times much worse than when it started. You can end up raking your hand through your hair as a way to
References: Kito, M. (2005). Self-disclosure in romantic relationships and friendships among american and japanese college students. The Journal of Social Psychology, 145(2), 127-40. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/199783311?accountid=32521 Fowers, B. J. (2001). The limits of a technical concept of a good marriage: Exploring the role of virtue in communication skills. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 27(3), 327-40. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/220973696?accountid=32521 Lingren, H. (1996). Managing Conflict Successfully. Available: http://strongermarriage.org/htm/married/managing-conflict-successfully. Last accessed 13th January 2013. ‘Soles,K. (2011). Improve Verbal Communication. In: Evans, E and Galuardi, P Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication,. 6th ed. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education Inc. 4.5 Soles,K. (2011). Visual Elements in Interpersonal Communication. In: Evans, E and Galuardi, P Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication,. 6th ed. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education Inc. 5.3.