Life After Rape, this story is about a young girl who was raped at a baseball game.

It was like a dog without a name or a fish without water; it's a feeling you want to go away, but sticks and sticks like glue on paper. You try to pull it off, but it just ends up tearing. Tearing through everything that you have worked to make right.

A young girl, Christine by name, walks this shadow everyday. People point and laugh as she walks down the halls, they don't see the good inside of her, and they only see her faults. They don't call her by name, but instead, "that's the girl who got raped." Deep down she wants to cry but miraculously keeps her head up high, she knows what happened and their nuisance hasn't phased her. Vanessa, her best friend, sticks by her even through the dark clouds. She knows Christine is in pain and she doesn't have to scream it out loud.

"Christine, come with me, I want to show you something," he said.

"Why did I listen?" she thinks everyday.

"Just around this corner, a little closer, a little closer." he excitedly said.

"I was so stupid, I should have known he'd do this to me, why didn't I just run away?"

The noise in the background drowned out all the shrieks. "Homerun!" she heard every-one scream. Another point for the team and the score was now 14 to 6. It was a well-known fact that Florence High School had the best baseball team as well as football team.

This night would ruin baseball for Christine all together. She was to be cheering but would not show. The girls wondered why, but didn't stop to look; they never even called. If only they looked behind the stands in the bushes they would see a girl begging, "Please, don't, please!" She lay there violated and feeling helpless, like everyone was against her and they had to know this was happening to her. They just had to know. He walked away as if it were all a game in which she had just lost.

The smile upon his face was so repugnant. "Micheal, wait up!" She heard from afar. It was Tomas, wanting a ride to a party. She heard the footsteps walk into the distance, hoping someone would come, but for the longest time no one did. She began to cry, she couldn't move, then footsteps: she heard "clunk clunk clunk". The footsteps stopped as though to hear the cries and looked behind the bushes. What he saw, he almost wishes he were blind. He knew not to touch her for it would make things worse, so he told her softly, "I will get help."

Almost twenty minutes later, the siren sounds. Everyone is wondering as they lifted her off the ground. The paramedics placed her in the stretcher; they saw the bruises and the marks of detriment. "Lift her up easy boys, this ones harmed." A few weeks in the hospital, recovering from the pain, but emotional hurt like this just doesn't wash away. Christine soon returns to school, seeing Micheal and she felt like a fool. No one would talk to her, they were afraid of what they might hear, so she walked alone down the halls with tears. She didn't complain or turn him in, she even begged the man who saw her, to keep this all in. He did for awhile, but couldn't live with the weight on his shoulders and turned him in to the police.

People ridiculed her and put her down. "Why would she lie about such a thing, it will ruin his life." Many of nights she got lost in her thoughts, "please just let this pain go away." She wondered what it would be like if she got rid of the pain herself, but Vanessa's support was the only thing that helped her stay. Christine hated herself for letting this happen, she should have fought better, then she wouldn't be in this pain. The embarrassment of everyone thinking she was lying made her quit the cheer squad. Her grades dropped and she was soon not able to run with the track team anymore. Everyone hated her and wanted her to leave. She felt like just doing that and never to return. Everyone was right, she was an appalling human being.

Micheal will be going to court in late September. Christine wishes that she would feel better about him going. Part of her wants him to go to prison but the other part, the part that wants her popularity back, desires him to be okay. She thought it was not his fault, that she led him to do this to her. She walked to the court doors, feeling befuddled on what is to come next. She wished to turn away, but knew she couldn't. The judge sentenced him to 10 years. Everyone gasped. "There's no future for him now," his mother squabbled down the hall. "You lied, he didn't touch you, you know he didn't, he would never do that evil thing to you, you are just a bad bad person."

Numb filled Christine's body. She couldn't believe he is going to prison, she ruined his life. She went home that evening, locked the door, closed the curtains and turned off the phone. Tonight was going to be the last night that she would feel this pain. She heard a knock and screamed "Go away!" Vanessa broke the window and climbed through, "You don't really want to do this, do you?" Vanessa yelled. "Yes I do, I ruined his life, what else is there to do?" Chris-tine screamed back.

"You didn't ruin his life, he ruined yours. It's not your fault what happened. There is nothing you could have done. That beast is gone and you are here and we would all love to keep it that way. Time will replace the emptiness you feel, just give it time and you will see, every-thing will work out; please, trust in me. Don't pull that trigger, if not for yourself than at least for me," Vanessa pleaded.

Christine looked at her and began to cry. She knew Vanessa was right, deep down inside. She placed the gun on the floor; Vanessa kicked it away, then reached Christine's side. "I love you and please don't ever do that again."

They never spoke of it again; it hurt too much to do so. Christine and Vanessa's senior year went by slowly after that. Some people came and apologized to Christine, but others would still not speak to her. Those were the ones that were close to Micheal and would never believe he'd do such a horrid thing. Vanessa did not care what they said about her best friend, it never changed her mind on who Christine was.

Soon, Christine began to feel extremely ill and she couldn't figure out why. She felt dis-comfort in her stomach and began to wake up early in the morning only to find herself running towards the bathroom. "I feel sick to my stomach, I just feel weak," she told Vanessa one morn-ing. Vanessa did not want to believe what she thought it was; not Christine, she's going to be Valedictorian and go to Harvard. This could not be, just no, she thought.

They decided to take the test that would determine Christine's future. If she were preg-nant, would she keep the baby? Would she give it up? What about the life she wanted that may be taken away from one night's horror? "No, this can't be happening, I want my life the way I want it, not a child to worry about." The results came back and within minutes now, she will know what her future holds in store.

The pink line shows that you are pregnant, and to her, it shows the ending of the life she wanted. Vanessa held her hand as they read the results. No one was sure what they were about to see. What about Micheal, should she tell him if she were pregnant? "It's only fair to tell him, isn't it? But, he is the one who did this nasty thing to me; I don't want this child to know a father like that. How can I tell the baby that their father is in prison for my rape? Sooner or later it has to be brought up to, they will get old enough to understand and have the right to know."

She closed her eyes and had Vanessa read her fate. "Positive. I'm sorry honey," Vanessa stated sadly. Christine fell upon the floor and began to cry. She didn't know how she was going to tell her mother about this. She couldn't believe this. Why? She asked, why me? They drove home in silence, Vanessa knew she didn't want to speak, she knew how hard this must be on her. Christine invited Vanessa in for a bite to eat and to help figure out the way to tell her mother. How, she didn't know.

She ended up not having too. Her mother overheard them talking about it in the kitchen that evening and burst into tears. "We'll take care of this, no worries. That scum will not take over this baby and its fate." Karlene, Christine's' mother stuttered angrily.

Two months later, Christine woke up one morning with violent pains in her stomach. She didn't know what to think as she ran to the bathroom. She soon noticed there was blood all over and she could feel the pain rise in her stomach. She fell to the wooden floor and wailed out in pain. No one was home at this time; her mother was on a business trip in Florida and couldn't be reached. The phone was in the other room. If only she could get to it but she didn't have enough strength to do so. She was quiet for awhile because her body felt numb. Then a horren-dous pain came upon her and she started to scream. Hopefully someone can hear me. Mrs. Smithly, her 32-year-old neighbor did hear and called the ambulance. The ambulance arrived soon after.

The ambulance rushed her to the hospital and automatically diagnosed her with a miscar-riage. Christine could not believe what she had been told. Her baby passed away and she felt so alone. The hospital called Vanessa, being she was the only person Christine knew that was around and told her what had happened. Vanessa slid down to the floor and felt the emptiness Christine has felt for a long time. Her friend just lost a part of her. She knew Christine was go-ing to need her now more than ever.

But Vanessa realized that Christine wanted to be left alone. She tried to reach out to Christine, but the pain became too much for Christine to handle. She didn't want to talk to any-one, including Vanessa. She returned to school about a month later, Vanessa thought that it would be better for Christine, but noticed it only got worse. She was now afraid for Christine's life.

On the one-year anniversary of her rape, Christine found herself gloomy and full of hate. She was not going to college, she hadn't been Valedictorian and she wasn't going to be a jour-nalist. She thought she could take no more and pulled out that gun she tried to use almost one year ago. She was going to finish what she had started. This time, no one was around to stop her, which made her believe things like, "No one cares" and "No one would notice if I did this." with this thought in mind, it made the decision easier for Christine to pull the trigger.

She screamed at the top of her lungs, looked up to heaven and said, "I don't belong with you God. I'm a despicable human being who belongs in Hell." She closed her eyes and placed the gun at her head, pulled the trigger and there it would end.