Life as a teenager.

Being 16, I am still early in my teen years. Being a teenager, my mind is most impressionable and vulnerable at this time. I try to make the right decisions, and learn from the wrong ones. Its been very hard to be a teenager. I regret what I've done, and regret what I haven't done. This is the time in my life when I am trying to figure out who I really am, why I am here, and trying to understand what the world is like.

My scathing at times, and constructive at other times teen life began when I was thirteen. I had already been following the so called "wrong path," that I was taught about in elementary school, church, and warned about by everyone else. By no means did I think I was normal, and I wasn't peer pressured into much of anything I did. I started drinking when I was twelve. By the time I was thirteen I was already a seasoned alcoholic. Nobody made me start, and I wasn't trying to fit in. I was curious. I wanted to be happy and feel older than I really was. I partied with twenty year olds, but I assured them that I was really 16. I wasn't trying to be a little thug or "hardcore," I was only trying to see the world and have some fun. When I was thirteen, I met a guy named Mike. He was seventeen and I thought the world of him. He however, did "peer pressure," me into doing things. I thought that I had really found somebody when I met him. I thought he was so cool. He smoked pot, crack, did acid, and almost everything else. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but he was special to me. I wanted to be good for him, be everything he wanted, and be what he wanted. That is why I started smoking pot. I didn't want to. I was scared actually, but time after time of him yelling at me and getting angry with me for not doing it, I finally gave in. At that point, I thought I could never be happier, Marijuana was god's gift to the world. Even so, he yelled at me a lot and made me feel really awful inside. In my mind, for no reason at all, I started to cut myself. I didn't