In Lynn Coady’s The Antagonist, the pressure Gordon Rankin experiences from his dad, hockey coach, and college roommate influence him to make decisions which change his character and lead him through the loss and regaining of his identity.
Gordon Senior places expectations on Gordon to protect the shop which causes him to regretfully fight and later results in more incidents because of his desensitization to violence. Gordon Senior pressures his son Gordon to be menacing and shapes him into something he does not want to be. Ultimately leading Gordon to feel untrue to his character. A drug dealing teenager named Mick Croft is causing trouble in the family's restaurant parking lot by loitering. Gordon senior despises of him and …show more content…
wants him to leave as he is banned from the area. As the Rankin’s try to force Mick to leave, Gordon thinks, “And I knew he would keep it up until I returned to the script, until I delivered my big line...I felt Gord’s muscles slacken in anticipation- he could feel it coming. “I’ll take care of this” I said...I could feel my father smiling back at Croft”(105). Gordon can feel the pressure from his dad to solve the problem through the repetition of signals he receives. As if it were a play, he is the lead character who everyone is anticipating to deliver the “big line.” Gordon cannot avoid the actions his Dad wants him to complete because everytime he tries Gordon Senior reverts him to “return to the script.” Eventually falling to the pressure he agrees to deliver his big line stating, “I’ll take care of this.” As the tension builds this line is the trigger which foreshadows a climatic event to happen because a change in tone. After his big line, Gordon is feeling a proud father looking through him and smiling at Mick. As a result of the pressure, Gordon takes care of the situation by punching Croft in the face. As his fist connects with Croft he describes the feeling, “I felt how it crunched in a couple of places. I felt croft’s bones absorb the force and velocity I threw at him; I felt how easily they shuddered and gave way. I felt this in my own bones; in the bones of my fist. It was simply a vibration; It didn’t cause me any pain at all.That said, it was a vibration that transmitted precisely what I was doing it, and I was regretting it”(115). The incident introduces violence to Gordon’s life and immediately desensitizes him towards it. The use of his descriptive language emphasizes his acceptance to violence. Using words such as “crunch” and “shudder” to describe his fist’s impact on Mick demonstrates a lack of empathy as he does not encounter “any pain at all.” Although Gordon accepts what is happening he does not feel it is right as he is “regretting it” as soon as it happens. This suggests he is not a truly violent person and he is remorseful. As a result of the altercation between Gordon and Mick, Gordon is sent to juvenile detention centre. Upon his release he is involved on a hockey team and is immediately involved in another incident. He hits another player and reflects, “When Chisholm’s cranium hit the ice I came up against one of the biggest downsides to living in the after -- the realization that no matter how hard I played, how much I tried to lose myself, escape wasn’t really on the menu anymore. “This is what happens,” I explained. “This is what I make happen”(120). Soon after he injures Mick he badly injures another player. The recurring incidents allude to Gordon’s change to becoming a violent person. Although on the outside he is a goon, he tries to “lose [himself]” because who he is portraying is not his true character on the inside. He is feeling a loss of identity as he explains hurting people is what he makes happen and is wanting to escape reality. Gordon’s desensitization to violence is the outcome of the pressure he experiences by Gordon Senior which leads him to feel lost. Gordon’s university hockey coach pressures him to use his size for violence but he refuses eventually quitting, and resulting in a satisfied Gordon when he is older because of his acceptance to do what he truly loves. From a young age Gordon is always the biggest and strongest kid. Judged by his appearance he is expected to use his size to his advantage such as in hockey to be an enforcer. As he explains, “Whereas Francis figured I should be an enforcer. He put me out there to bash the shit out of guys and I wasn’t gonna do it… I figure he’s not going to kick me off the team for neglecting to maim people as I was clearly born to do"(167). The main reason Gordon is on the team is to “bash the shit out of guys.” He is mistaken as a goon just because of his size. He acknowledges that people think his purpose is to “maim people” but he disagrees. Although Gordon feels pressure to use his size for violence, he refuses to do so because is not his true character. As his team is heading out to the ice his coach is motivating them. But instead Gordon is frustrated. He explains the situation to his friend after,“Anyone whos afraid to get their knuckles bloody this evening can leave right now. And I have never been more serious in my life, gentlemen. There’s the door. “And what’d you do?” “ Stood up opened my locker. Grabbed my shit. Out the door”(171). Gordon leaves and quits the team because he refuses to do what people pressure him to do. Instead of falling to the influence of his hockey coach as seen with his dad, he avoids a negative consequence when he grabs his stuff and leaves. He becomes independent as he quits the team. Through the process of his change in character he loses part of his identity as he has played hockey his whole life. This loss of identity is a sacrifice he makes to change his life for the better.
Clearly the sacrifice he makes pays dividends later on as he is a happier person when he grows up and moves on from the loss he experiences when he quits from the hockey team. In emails to his old friend Adam he explains,“ I’m finally doing my father proud- heading downtown to the arena every week to play in a league. And let me tell you, old timer’s hockey is the best hockey going. There are no psychotic parents in the stands, no purple faced coaches, none of that sweaty, draft-pick desperation”(326). Later in life Gordon plays hockey out of pure love for the game. The use of diction by Gordon reveals his satisfaction. He uses a happier tone when describing his time playing hockey when he is older. All the things he did not like about the game are gone such as “psychotic parents”, “purple faced coaches” and “draft-pick desperation.” The fact that The pressure Gordon receives from his hockey coach leads him to become a self powered person through the experience of quitting and losing a part of his identity. The tension between Gordon and his college roommate Adam eventually results in the betrayal of their friendship because of a book negatively written about Gordon, causing Gordon to reconcile with himself in the process to regain his identity. Throughout Gordon’s time in university he lives with three other people. He feels like an outsider because he is labeled as a jock and is different in personality from the other guys in the house. As the group approaches the end of the school year they decide to go out to party one night. However, before they leave Adam confronts Gordon about a previous incident leaving Gordon confused. Soon after, Gordon “realizes what Adam is talking about: how Rank shoved Kyle that time. And he wants to say, It’s not Kyle I feel like I’m on fucking eggshells around these days. And maybe he will say something like that after a few more drinks”(290). Gordon’s frustration shows with his roommates as he shoves Kyle. The recurrence of violent incidents throughout Gordon’s life are a result of his inability to control his emotions. Gordon uses the metaphorically compares his fragile relationship with his roommate Adam to eggshells. Eggshells break easily and he feels that a small amount of force will make their relationship break just like an eggshell. The tension between the two friends puts pressure on Gordon who is willing to confront the situation “after a few more drinks.” He wants to voice his opinion but cannot come to it. Gordon needs alcohol to speak up which reveals his insecurities and lack of confidence in confronting Adam. He needs alcohol to escape and ignite his true identity. Gordon’s failure to communicate with Adam foreshadows a fight between the two because alcohol restrains him from making sensible decisions. The outcome of the tension between the two roommates resurfaces many years later when Gordon discovers a book written about him.
He reads the book and finds it to be outrageous. Gordon immediately proceeds to write emails to his old roommate in response to his thoughts on the book. He expresses his anger directly, “The biggest pisser? The fact that the cliche of me was all you really took, you boiled an entire life, an entire human being, Adam , down to the most basic, boneheaded elements. Good mom plus bad dad hinting at the predictable Oedipal( oh give me a fucking break) background of-- voila-- Danger Man! One seriously messed up dude”(9). Gordon’s experiences, his family, and his character are part of his identity. Adam simplifies Gordon’s identity into “the most basic, boneheaded elements” which cause him to feel at loss. A cliché is not original or unique as it expresses a common thought or idea. Gordon portrays a cliché which means he is not unique and ultimately alluding to the fact that he shares the same identity as others. The betrayal he experiences from a person who is once a friend is heartbreaking for him. It evokes his emotions as he is at a loss of his identity due to the betrayal he
experiences. Through the struggle to regain his identity he reveals a forgiving and accepting person in the end. He is reliving his life through the emails he sends to Adam. In the end he concludes, “ Adam, I accept you didn’t write your book out of hate or love for me, your former friend and sort-of brother. I accept what really pissed me off was your indifference. What I mean is I’m accepting your indifference”(334).