Losing A Child

Losing a child
Ruben Contreras
Colorado technical University
Losing a child
I was always the type of person that thought I would be blessed with kids when the time was right. I also was the type of person that thought that people who did drugs or had abortions and caused personal pain were the only ones who witnessed or suffered the loss of a child. Obviously I was wrong, anyone can experience this and sometimes not only once. I did none of these but as read on you I am going to try and make you witness how I ended up suffering from the loss of a child. Not once but twice in a 2 year period.
In the early March 2012, I was given the news of my newlywed wife that we were to be expecting our first child together. I had never felt more excited and scared at the same time as it was to be my first child, the responsibility scared me and made extremely happy at the same time. We had a due date of Nov 27th 2012, for the first 5 months of the pregnancy everything was going just as I had imagined. Then on the morning of Aug 21st 2012 my wife started getting really bad pains which after reading on line I thought were just Braxton hicks (false labor pains) and a trip to the emergency room proved what we feared and unfortunately my wife went into labor early at only 23 weeks pregnant, due to her having an infection and with the fluid there was no way of saving the a baby, Angel was born on August 21, 2012 and lived on 8 hours before passing away. I went into a slight depression fearing that maybe it just was not meant for me to have kids. I tried carrying as normal with everyday activities and keeping my mind as busy as I could trying to mask the depression.
In December of 2012 we found we were expecting another child and as if a magic wand appeared and lifted all the sad feelings I had and hatred that filled my heart was gone. His due date was supposed to be in Sept of 2013, which seemed like an eternity away being that we had just lost a child and were anxious at getting a second chance at it. The doctor came to the conclusion that the cause of the first pre term pregnancy was that my wife had incompetent cervix. I was worried that it could happen again and asked the doctors if there was anything that could be done to prevent it from happening again. We had to get an vaginal cerclage and my wife was ordered to be on bed rest from week 6 of being pregnant until she was 24 weeks pregnant at that time she would be admitted in the hospital to continue her bed rest there until labor. We were told that at 24 weeks is the only time a baby is considered viable and until that time she could not get admitted. The day she reached 24 weeks she was admitted into Memorial hospital in Colorado Springs. Everything was looking positive and then after 3 days in the hospital everything took a turn for the worse. I remember it like it was yesterday, my wife stated getting the pains again and the doctor came in for a checkup and stated she was in labor and was already dilated to a 6. All of a sudden every emotion I had went numb as I was fearing the worse.
On May 18th 2013 our second child together was born at 24weeks and 3 days, he weighed 1lb 13oz and was 11 ½ inches long. They rushed him up to the NICU (Neonatal, Intensive Care Unit) he was on a ventilator for 3 ½ months. Once off the ventilator he was placed on a breathing mask for about 2 weeks and things stated looking positive for the first time since he was born. I remember the first time getting to actually feed him with a bottle and all the encouraging words I would tell him on how to be a little fighter and stay strong. When Uriah had been in the NICU for 4 ½ months the doctors started to get worried at his slow progression to taking the bottle and diagnosed him with failure to thrive and placed a feeding tube in his side, stating that would be the only way he would be able to come home. The day of the surgery I recall being so nervous with them having to put him to sleep and it was a 4 hour surgery. He did extremely well and took about 3 weeks for a full recovery.
Finally we had a date and Uriah was coming home. October 11th 2013 was the date he was scheduled to be sent home. My wife Amy and I had to stay 2 nights at the hospital to ensure he understood the feeding machine and the exact time feeding were to take place. After them long 2 days were got released from the hospital and were so happy to finally have our son at home. It was a Friday. Then the worse that could possibly happen did indeed happen. Uriah woke up on Sunday the 13th and gurgling on his milk, he wasn’t breathing so a call to 911 the ambulance came and took him to the emergency room where they tried all they could but Uriah and choked on his milk and passed away. My heart had been broken before and felt pain but never in that way as the moment they told me my son was gone.
From me experiencing losing a not only one but two children has really opened my eyes and to never take anything for granted. After Uraih my wife Amy got her tubes tied and so I thought that was the last chance I had at becoming a father. Thankfully science has come a long way and we completed the IVF treatment and she is now 10 weeks pregnant I am trying to keep nothing but positive thoughts. I really can’t say what it has taught me other than love with everything you have because in a blink of an eye it can be taken from you.