Love And Intimacy During The Colonial Era

In the Colonial era, love and intimacy existed in a formal context, because these had to comply with the social order. The social order dictated conditions under which men and women could be intimate with each other, and these conditions restricted one’s choice of mate to someone of similar social status, who had a respectable position in society. In colonial America, there was little distinction between the public and private spheres. The public sphere provided the framework for ideal private life, and if someone was seen to be deviating from this ideal, it was acceptable for others to reprimand them. Even punishments for private crimes were public performances, and public shame was seen as a method to curb private sins. Further, the Colonial
The forced physical intimacy of the time created explosive social and domestic situations. Love, rather than being an end in itself, was seen as a way to counteract this explosiveness, and was hence considered a duty of marital life. Family and social status played a large part in finding someone a potential spouse when one decided that they were ready to get married, and love was expected to follow after a marriage was arranged. Social status limited intimacy between men and women because intimacy and sexuality were only acceptable in the context of marriage, and one’s potential mates depended on familial approval and social standing, not on passion. Sexuality was seen as one’s natural impulse, and was acceptable if it occurred in the socially controlled context of marriage, and didn’t distract from religious or social duties. Sexuality and marriage hence served the bigger function of bringing two families together, and upholding social norms. The household was also meant to maintain social order, and to teach these social norms to future children, who would also maintain order. Any deviance from this function, for instance in the form of adultery, was publicly punishable, because it highlighted the antisocial aspects of sexuality, which threatened social