Love at First Smile

Chapter I
Away from Everything

I was running down the stairs towards the basement area. Since I’m not comfortable wearing my nameplate around the office, I just bring it with me. As I approach the stairs leading to the basement area, I took my nameplate and placed it on the left side of my uniform. I was walking while pinning it and as I look up after wearing it properly, the security guarding the door to the stairs was so close to laughing at me and he just suppressed it by displaying me his most gorgeous smile. If he hadn’t been good-looking I’d be so pissed off with him. However, since I find him attractive, I just let it pass. When I took up the stairs from the basement up to the ground floor, I took a second look at him and he just smiled the same gorgeous smile he had when I first saw him. I can’t help but smile back at him and yet it got me thinking, “Did he really actually laughed at me? Or am I just making my own assumptions and conclusions?” “Now, what? Why are you smiling at me that way again, huh? You know, you’re quite something.” I just can’t be angry with him. I can’t stop myself from smiling when I’m with him. “Nothing, it’s just that I love staring at you. You know very well that I’m riveted to you. I’m having a hard time pulling the reigns off my eyes from looking at you. And sorry if I can’t help but smile when you’re around. You make me happy” I just rolled my eyeballs at him and his smile widened as I did it. “You don’t really remember that day? That was our first meeting. I thought you clearly remembered me since I’m the only one who doesn’t wear her nameplate around the office but pins it whenever she comes down to the basement. “I put on my best indignant face and yet it wasn’t very effective since a pinch from him could make me smile already. Anyway, I was just teasing him around. It’s been a long time since we’ve been like this. I was always away, in Cebu, and busy. He hadn’t had a day off in months and he had work too. Good thing, we both had decided to take one day for ourselves so that we can spend time with each other. “So, how’s your work? You look exhausted. I’m hoping you don’t have to go far to work so that I could take care of you here.” His eyes were probing, seeking truth from my eyes, proving if something bothers or worries me. Even if he doesn’t say it, even if our love’s a little bit undefined, having each other’s company makes us both happy and that’s what’s important. “I’m fine. Everything’s great. It’s you who should be taking care of yourself. Look at you. You’re not eating much aren’t you? Don’t worry about me okay? I’m good and I can manage myself well. “I’m not really sure about my feelings for him and yet I really don’t care. I enjoy being with him and having conversations with him. I love having him around and I’m happy about it. “So, what should we do now, Robin?” He is my batman and I’m his sidekick so he calls me Robin. “I don’t know. What would you like to do? Do you have anything in mind? Any place you’d like us to go or visit? I’d like to go watch movies but it won’t be open until lunch.” I can’t drag myself from not looking at him. He has just that most angelic face I’d ever seen. “And there you go again. I’m feeling a little bit too overwhelmed with your attention. Come along. I’ll bring you somewhere…. Nice.” And there his smile again that creates quite a spectacle in my already dreamy mind. I don’t have an idea where he’s taking me but it really doesn’t matter now. Anywhere with him is fine. We climbed on his bike. It wasn’t fancy but it’s not ugly either, simple and yet attractive just like him. I remembered the first time I got jealous with a girl because of him. He was just talking to her and yet I feel so irritated, especially with her. But we barely knew each other then. Smile is the only thing that connects us, that enables us to communicate with each other. When he smiled at me, I can’t help myself from smiling as well. He brightens up my day. It was just a week of me seeing him and yet that one day, when I was on my way to the basement, I was surprised that he was assigned on a new location since I’d always see him on the door just before the stairs towards the basement area. I saw him talking to a girl and it got me flabbergasted. More than that, I was exasperated. “I thought he was different. They are all the same. He’s a flirt. Why do I have a crush on him anyway?” I passed by them and I never bothered to take a second look at them. I was like an invidious girlfriend out there and yet it wasn’t the case. Few days after that event, I realize that I was so stupid to ever feel that way. We barely knew each other. I don’t even know his name and neither does he. We don’t have anything but why have I felt that way that day? It’s too thoughtless of me to even think or say something about what he has been doing when he has nothing to do with me. Honestly, it’s so embarrassing and it was a good thing that it was just me who knew how I react. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the motor coming to a stop. “Where are we?” The sight is quite stimulating. This is one of those places I had in my dreams. I’m still entranced with the place when he tugged me on the side. “Let’s go. This is just the preface. We’ve got to get to the story. Come on.” I walked beside him. He took my hand and held it in his palm. I just pretended I did not notice but deep inside me, my heart is just about to explode from happiness. Butterflies are circling around my belly and I just can’t pull my lips down from smiling eclectic. Can we be like this forever? I can live my life forever with him. We’ve arrived to the “story” that he was referring to. It was spectacular. It’s one of those places I’d like to stay in and write my stories. It was a view overlooking the vast expanse of the ocean. Around us, I can see ships loaded with boxes of stuffs that I don’t know, vehicles parked with couples enjoying the scenery and houses in the seaside with kids playing on the shore. “This place is amazing. I never knew this place existed. How were you able to find it? How did you discover this place? Who referred you here? What brought you here in the first place?” I have so many questions but those were my excuse to overcome that incontrollable feeling of wanting him. The place is just so perfect, the timing is so right but I’m afraid that if I take things fast, he might think that I’m an easy to get type of girl. “You’re cramming your words again. I just have the perfect solution to that.” Without a warning, he leaned closer to me and I just felt his lips touch mine, and then we were kissing already. It was the sweetest and most tender kiss I had in my lifetime. Maybe it wasn’t the kiss. It was the person who bequeathed it. It was the moment, the timing the feelings that I share with that person. I was astonished when he stopped and looked away from me. I was about to ask him why but then he spoke first. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have told you I was going to kiss you. Maybe I should have asked permission first. I’m really sorry.” He is sorry. Why? What is he talking about? I enjoyed it, loved it and he is saying sorry for it? “Sorry? You’re sorry because you’ve given me the most exhilarating feeling I had in my life? You’re sorry because you made me feel secure and loved? You’re sorry because…” I was not able to finish what I’ve got to say since he already has my mouth and I can’t help but be drowned in his kiss. After our short escapade at the seaside, we had our lunch and we went to the movie house. I was so tired and I fell asleep in the middle of the movie. He made me lean on his shoulders and took my hand. I just feel so happy with him that I just don’t want this day to end. We went to Ayala for a stroll and when we got tired, he brought me home. “Guess we’ll not be seeing each other again for quite some time.” He held my hand as if he’d never let it go. “Yeah, guess we’ll be seeing each other again some other time. Cris, thank you. Thank you for making me feel special, for allowing me to feel that I’m secured with you, that I will always be safe and that somebody loves me for real.” “I love you and I’ll do anything to make you happy. I’d never let you feel alone and unloved. Now, take a shower and rest already. You’ve got an early flight tomorrow. Okay?” There’s that entrancing smile of his again which I can’t get tired of looking at. “Okay. Bye. I love you.”

Right at that moment, I made the first move and kissed him. It was short, but I know it was enough assurance for both of us. He got up on his bike and rode off. It was a day I’ll never forget. When I went inside, I immediately took a shower, changed my clothes, prepared my things for the next day, prayed and thanked God for everything and climb up to bed. I fall asleep fast and the next thing I knew, I’m on my way back to Cebu.

Chapter II Reminiscent

I’ve been so antsy waiting for the day when I can finally have my “freedom”. I don’t know how to restrain this feeling and yet the time is so near that I shouldn’t be worried about anything. Few more days away until “the” day and mixed feelings have been bothering me today; sadness, happiness, excitement, hopes. As my daily routine, I took bank balances and went down to the basement straight to the comfort room. During my last two weeks, I got used not wearing my nameplate and just bring it upstairs, wear it when going down. I was on my way to the basement when I took the nameplate from my secret pocket and pinned it on my uniform. When I reach the stairs leading to the basement, I saw the security hide that escalating smile in his face. “Now, what? Just because I wear it when going down doesn’t mean that… Oh no, I’ve fallen for his charms. Now what Aubrey? That fast? Come on!” I said to myself as I wound my way to the comfort room. When I went back, I took a second look at him. He just smiled but I knew something else is in his mind. “So what? He has a great smile. And I like him. Wait. I do?” I just laugh at myself with what I have been thinking. From then on, I’m looking forward to that moment I’d see him again just right before the stairs leading to the basement. He would always smile when I pass at him and I just can help myself from smiling back at him. I’d happily give away that smile hiding behind my lips. Then one day, I didn’t saw him on his usual post. Has he been transferred? Did he already resign? Where is he? Right then, I went down to the basement and as I passed by one section at the building, I saw him talking to a girl. “How flirt! How can he do such a thing? He does it to all the girls here, doesn’t he?” I was flabbergasted. I was in distress. Seriously? Why her? I went down to the basement without looking back at both of them. I was so frustrated. A week after, I realize how dumb I am for having that feelings towards him. What was I thinking? It’s so embarrassing. I’m not his girlfriend to be jealous just like that. He doesn’t even know me. I don’t know his name either. I am so ashamed of how I felt for him. I’m so going beyond how I should be acting. I should restrain myself, right now. After that day, I saw him again in his usual post and we would exchange smiles, just like all the other girls here in the building, I thought. And I’m being such a jealous brat again which I shouldn’t be. I can’t be. Why am I behaving like this? During my last week, I challenged myself to have more guts. I told Rachel that I’ll ask him his name or just make a small conversation with him. I told her I’d do it on my last day. That was then my biggest regret. He never showed up. Is it his day off? Was he transferred post again? If it’s so, where? Where is he? I should have talked to him yesterday. But I never did. Now I never had the chance. I won’t have a chance. I had my last goodbye’s with everyone. I had my last everything in that building. Then, as we were about to get home, I asked Jenny if he knew the name of that certain security watching over the post just right before the stairs leading to the basement. “Oh, Toby? I’d get his number for you. I’ll just hand it over to you on Tuesday.” Is this real? Am I really doing this? “Really? Thank you. I’d really appreciate that.” I just went home not knowing what to expect or what to do. Would we really have the chance to be close? Or is it just like what I had with Harry? Whom I have had a very short conversation and that was it, we never talked to each other again. I hope we’ll have a happy ever after. I really hope so.

Chapter III
Start of Something New

I went back to get my last paycheck. I can’t wait to have my first walk at the customer’s entrance after a year and three months. I’m excited, thrilled and yet quite nervous and panicky for some reasons I don’t really know. I packed my stuffs and the food I’ll be bringing for the people at the office. It was a long journey but I was able to get there on time. I went home immediately, changed my clothes and went on with my interview. Whew. Quite a hectic schedule but I just have to deal with this. I started it. I have to finish it. I was able to pull it off. When I entered the building, a lot of comments were thrown up, questions for my plans, inquiries on why I’ve resigned. I just smiled and told them that I wanted to be in a different environment this time. I love the people here. I really do. Yet I just have to grow. I need to explore my capabilities. I have to set my career path in an escalating manner. I want to be in an organization where I can see myself improving and climbing up the ladder towards the corporate world. I took my clearance slip from our Human Resource staff and complied with everything that has to be filled up. I got my paycheck and stayed late at the office having some catching up with everyone. It was a lovely night and I’d definitely miss all of them. When I went down, I was surprise with the paper handed to me by Jenny. “It’s his number. Send him a message.” Then she left. Goodness! I definitely would send him a message. That’s a sure thing. I shopped a little and went home afterwards. Days after which, I spent it on eating a lot at different places, hanging around and enjoying the freedom. I was so preoccupied with these things that I never realize that I still haven’t sent him a message. It was when Ms. Jane told me that he hasn’t heard from me ever since I got his number that I realize I never did sent him any message yet. Then Ms. Jane asked me if he could have my number and it got me giggling and all thrilled with the idea. It was still a few days after that day when he sent a message. It goes like this, “Hi, Aubrey.” It got me puzzled. Who is this? A lot of things were going on my mind. Is it my ex-boyfriend? Is it Rain? I’m still undecided to reply but I took the risk of whatever it may be and replied. “Who is this?” And he replied, “It’s Toby.” Toby? I know a lot of Toby. Which one of them? “Toby? I’m really sorry but I know a lot of Toby.” I felt stupid not to realize that it was already him. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately that I wasn’t sure of anything yet. Then his reply sent butterflies in my belly. “Toby Chase.” It’s really him. I was all-too excited and so happy. I can’t even pull down the lever on my face as that wide smile flash across my lips that day. We had a long conversation and I find it easy to talk to him. He makes himself open to me and I can’t help but open up with him as well. I feel so welcomed being his friend and so he is to me as well. Then the surprising statement came. “I don’t really know you. I’m not even familiar with you. I may have seen you but not really recognize you and yet having this conversation with you makes me happy.” He blurted out. Oh no. Oh my. Geez. I thought he remembered me. I thought our first meeting was the most special day. Well it is. It was, just for me, I guess. He never recognized me. All the flirting was useless and yet my hopes are still up. We make a good and interesting conversation. That’s just what it takes. Right? A week after, I passed by the building. I was riding on a jeepney. When I glanced at the door, I saw him and he smiled brilliantly at me. I can’t help but smile too and even waved at him. There’s something about him that makes every nerve in my body go electrified. That night, I sent him a message saying that I was surprised to see him changing post already. He was surprised as well to realize that it was me whom he has seen that day. He recognized me but he never did fathom that I was the one whom he’s been sending messages lately. We don’t really talk a lot and yet the communication is constant. And that’s a good sign, isn’t it? I dread for him to send me a message and yet maybe it’s also a good thing we rarely talk. Every conversation we have makes me feel excited and giggling. It shoots up scent of flowers in my head and I’m really looking forward for every talk we’ll going to have. He promised to take me on “date” sometime in the future. He knows that I can go out anytime unless of course I’ve got new schedules to insert in my planner. I really don’t want to expect anything great from both of us, what we could have, if there is a possibility of any. I know that, still, he isn’t the guy for me. He is good-looking, nice, and someone who captured my heart and yet, like my past, he’s still not the one. I know it in my heart. And yet, I still want to enjoy this unexplainable feeling I have for him. I love the feeling of having that feeling of being in love but not actually falling in love yet. Crazy, right? I’m too young and I’m looking for someone who could get me through emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and even financially. I’d like to be practical in some sense. I like him and yet, it’s not sufficient enough. I may be able to love him but we still won’t have a happy ever after. I love him and yet I won’t be able to give him the love he so deserves. And I’ll be fooling myself to say that he is the one after all. I remember what my Mom told me once. Be very sure with what you commit into. Be dedicated to it and be real to what you really want. Don’t just commit and not wanting it afterwards. I have to be sure of what I’m involving myself into. It’s a good thing that we’re just friends, maybe beyond but still undefined. I don’t want to put labels on it. I don’t want to expect. I don’t want to keep my hopes up. I don’t like commitments. I’m more comfortable with no strings attached that tie us up to each other. I want to establish a relationship but not something that would take me into having sacrifices for what we should have. I’m afraid to take chances. I’m scared taking risks. I don’t want to do something that I could not be sure of. I like him. Maybe, I’d even love him. But I like what we have now. And I hope it’ll remain this way. He’s too nice to have his broken and to be with somebody who dreams of breaking somebody’s heart.

Chapter IV. Happily Ever After It has always been in my dreams, everything only in my dreams, and yet it’s all happening right now. It is so happening right now. This is really it. He asked me out last night. He said, “Hey Aubrey, you’ve got anything to do tomorrow? It’s my off and I’d like you to come with me somewhere.” When I first read his message, I was at a complete loss for words. I was all dazed to send back a message. Is he really, truly asking me out? I pinch myself just to be sure that I’m not dreaming and surely, it is real. My hands are shaking so hard, my heart beating so fast and I am so hyperventilating. “I’ve got nothing to do tomorrow and I’d gladly come with you tomorrow. So, where do we meet?” I asked excitedly. This is definitely going to have a write-up. Definitely. “I can come pick you up tomorrow. I hate to let you travel early in the morning. Just give me the directions and I’ll be there.” Whew. This day is getting better. I hope I won’t get used to it. “Oh, well, ahm, from your house, you could go straight until you see the first Phoenix gasoline station on you right. Turn right and drive straight till you see the second corner from the crossroad you’ll be passing by. Turn right again on that corner and wait for me on the next crossroad you will see. Does it seem so mixed up?” I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say to him. I’m too nervous to speak up. “This is good. I’ll come pick you up by 5:00 AM tomorrow. Will it be okay with you? We have to be early though. Am I asking too much from you?” Is he asking too much for me? Definitely not. We’re heading out early. This is so too good to be true and yet everything’s just true. Everything’s real. “No. I’d like to be out early. If it’s okay with you, could I jog at where we are going?” Am I serious here? Really, jogging? Gosh! “Yeah, definitely. Well, that was what I’m actually planning for us to do. And he added a sheepish smile emoticon after the statement. You’re really making me fall for you so hard, don’t you? “That’s great. Won’t you be sleeping yet? It’s already late.” I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I had to make an excuse so that we can just have the conversation tomorrow. “Yeah. Goodnight Aubrey. Sleep well.” Do I still have to reply him? Well, here goes nothing. “Goodnight Toby. Sweet dreams.” The following day, I got up at around 4:00AM, took abath, change to my sweat shirt and pants, prepared my stuffs and poured myself a cup of coffee while waiting for his message. At 5:00AM, my phone beeped. “I’m already here. Where are you?” He’s here. He’s here. “I’m coming.” I’m so ready for this. I jogged towards the corner and slowed down as I approached him. He definitely knows how to take a girl’s breath away. He’s just too cool in his gray shirt and pants. He is….. hot. Seeing me made his dimples in his cheeks form. This is too much. I might just as well melt right here. “Hey, how are you? Hmm, let’s go?” I asked. I was smiling too, already. “You look so nice. Oh, yeah right, we should better be going. Let’s go. Hold tight, cupcake.” And then he laughed at his own statement. I can’t help but let out a laugh too. And then we drove away. “Cupcake, huh? So where do you prefer I place my hands? Shoulders or waist?” And don’t get too imaginative all right. I know that you just may have that thinking of… Never mind” I said through the rumbling sound of the motor. I can’t say it. Not with him. Not when he’s around. “Hold on tight, okay? And for the record, I’m not thinking of anything. Just you.” And he concentrated on his driving. “Just you? What’s that supposed to mean? I know what it means, all right. Why is he being like that? I fall so easy and got hurt so bad. I thought to myself. It was quite a trip and I was holding onto his shoulders. Definitely the shoulders. We arrived. As I have imagined, we’re going to see the sun reflect its rays on the ocean. Definitely, we can’t see the sunrise here but I don’t know his plans, maybe he’d surprise me. Just maybe and yet I’m keeping my aspirations low so I won’t expect too much from it. He parked the bike somewhere safe with our things and we head on the seaside to jog. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you? The first thing we’ve got to do on our first date is jog? Just tell me that you think I’m too fat and I need to watch my food intake. Not this. “I love teasing him. I know he doesn’t intend to imply what I’ve just blurted out but I want to see his reaction on this. And besides, I have to break the ice. I have to tear down the wall between us, right? “Now don’t give me all that now. You’ll definitely regret it later. You’re the one who suggested jogging. It just so happens we both think the same thing. And as you know, I find this activity relaxing, don’t you think?” He loves to smile all right. I can see that. And it makes me fall for him even harder. “And why would I regret it? I don’t see the fault in what I’ve done. And even so, what can you really do to me, huh, young man?” I’m beginning to love this day. “Are you sure that you wanted to know? Nah, forget it. I’ll get back to you later. Meanwhile, maybe we should concentrate on the jogging. I’ll lose more air if I keep talking to you like this.” He gasped for his breath. “Yeah. You’re right.” And we both silently jog afterwards. None of us spoke anything. He was leading us somewhere I’m not sure but what do I know? I’m not from here. “Let’s stop for a while. I’m famished. Wait for me here. I’ll get us something to eat.” He left me. Just like that. And where’s he supposed to get the food? Don’t tell me he had all of it prepared yesterday? A few minutes later, he came back with fruits, sandwiches and bottled waters. “I don’t suppose all of these just fell down from the tree, did it?” I smiled at him. He is so very much prepared for this. “Well, I guess it has to be that way. You know that you’re special, especially to me. Now, eat up. I don’t want to see you starving.” I just stare him for a long time and got to my “eating”. After a while, he spoke up. “Hey Aubrey? Turn around. You might want to see this. And I hope you brought your camera with you because this would be a waste of a view of the scenery.” I was then stunned with what I saw. It was fascinating. It was indeed a beautiful sunrise, just the way my day started with him. Oh yeah, right, my camera. I fished it out of my pocket and took lots of picture until I got tired of it. It’s a beauty, a portrait of a new beginning, a ray of hope and sunshine after the rain. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for bringing me out here. I never knew there could be such a place with this splendid view. I love it, I mean the sunrise. It’s amazing. Breathtaking.” He just smiled. I smiled back at him and returned my gaze on the beautiful sunrise just beginning to unfold before my eyes. Afterwards, we went back to his bike and went to Mambukal. I told him before that I was never able to visit it before and he’d like that he’ll be with me on my visit there. Charming I would say. We spent the whole morning climbing the seven falls. It was so exhausting but just seeing him smile takes away all of the soreness of my whole body. He often helps me. He is the guy after all. Or is it really the reason? When we reached the seventh fall, I took lots of pictures. He took a lot of pictures of me as well and him also. Then, for one moment there, we just sat at one of the stones and let silence took over us. I wanted to ask him something but I was too shy and was taken aback but as if he could read my mind, he took the liberty of asking what’s been bothering me. “What is it?” He gave me that reassuring smile again as if telling me that I can tell him anything in the world. “Is it possible that we can have a picture together?” I was blushing. I felt my cheeks turned though for some reasons, I think it wasn’t that visible. “Sure. But who would hold the camera for us?” As what I often do, I set it in a self - shot mode. When I’m about to take the shot, he placed his hands on my shoulders. My hands were quivering but I just suppressed that rising feeling of excitement and took the shot. The photo came out just perfect. We headed home afterwards but before we went home, we went back to where we sat that early morning. By now, we are waiting for the sun to set and it has gloriously gone down. Just as my day started like the sunrise, it likewise ended just like the sunset. Splendid. When we arrived at home, I was not able to invite him in since he has to go somewhere. “Aubrey. Thanks for the time. I really enjoyed hanging out with you. “If he keeps on plastering that smile in his face, I’d have to kill myself sooner or later. “I had a great time too. Thank you as well. Hmm, so, this is it. Bye. See you soon?” I want to be with him again, spend time with him and have conversation with him. “Yeah. Soon. Definitely.” Then, as if like a bolt of lightning had passed by, he just place a quick kiss in my forehead and drove away. As always, it simply was just like that to him. This is what I could truly call a “day”. Later that night, I kept on thinking what had happened between us and what had just happened. Could there be something special between us? I like him but I don’t know what’s going on his mind. A week after our so called date, I’ve got answers to those questions running through my mind. He came in my house, unexpected. I let him in, we stayed at the living room area and we talked. He asked me how my day was, if I’m feeling fine, what I have been up to lately. Then his next question surprised me and surprise would be an understatement but then he asked, “Aubrey, will you be my girl?” I just stared at him for some time. I don’t know what to say. I’m not even sure how to react. I’ve been thinking about that question lately, been dreaming about it if you have to ask me but I did not expect it to be so soon, that it would really came true, that it is happening right now. “Aubrey, I’m willing to wait. You can always take all the time you need to think. I just thought you’d like to know what I feel.” We had movie marathon after that awkward situation and even shared a few laughs in between movies. But neither of us said anything about that question posted. Then, involuntarily, I leaned my head on his shoulders to seek solace, to feel safe, to find comfort in his arms. And out of whatever it is, he placed his arms on my shoulder. And right at that moment, I know, he is the one. It was him. It’s him I’ve been looking for.

Chapter III Start of Something New

I went back to get my last paycheck. I can’t wait to have my first walk at the customer’s entrance after a year and three months. I’m excited, thrilled and yet quite nervous and panicky for some reasons I don’t really know. I packed my stuffs and the food I’ll be bringing for the people at the office. It was a long journey but I was able to get there on time. I went home immediately, changed my clothes and went on with my interview. Whew. Quite a hectic schedule but I just have to deal with this. I started it. I have to finish it. I was able to pull it off. When I entered the building, a lot of comments were thrown up, questions for my plans, inquiries on why I’ve resigned. I just smiled and told them that I wanted to be in a different environment this time. I love the people here. I really do. Yet I just have to grow. I need to explore my capabilities. I have to set my career path in an escalating manner. I want to be in an organization where I can see myself improving and climbing up the ladder towards the corporate world. I took my clearance slip from our Human Resource staff and complied with everything that has to be filled up. I got my paycheck and stayed late at the office having some catching up with everyone. It was a lovely night and I’d definitely miss all of them. When I went down, I was surprise with the paper handed to me by Jenny. “It’s his number. Send him a message.” Then she left. Goodness! I definitely would send him a message. That’s a sure thing. I shopped a little and went home afterwards. Days after which, I spent it on eating a lot at different places, hanging around and enjoying the freedom. I was so preoccupied with these things that I never realize that I still haven’t sent him a message. It was when Ms. Jane told me that he hasn’t heard from me ever since I got his number that I realize I never did sent him any message yet. Then Ms. Jane asked me if he could have my number and it got me giggling and all thrilled with the idea. It was still a few days after that day when he sent a message. It goes like this, “Hi, Aubrey.” It got me puzzled. Who is this? A lot of things were going on my mind. Is it my ex-boyfriend? Is it Rain? I’m still undecided to reply but I took the risk of whatever it may be and replied. “Who is this?” And he replied, “It’s Toby.” Toby? I know a lot of Toby. Which one of them? “Toby? I’m really sorry but I know a lot of Toby.” I felt stupid not to realize that it was already him. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately that I wasn’t sure of anything yet. Then his reply sent butterflies in my belly. “Toby Chase.” It’s really him. I was all-too excited and so happy. I can’t even pull down the lever on my face as that wide smile flash across my lips that day. We had a long conversation and I find it easy to talk to him. He makes himself open to me and I can’t help but open up with him as well. I feel so welcomed being his friend and so he is to me as well. Then the surprising statement came. “I don’t really know you. I’m not even familiar with you. I may have seen you but not really recognize you and yet having this conversation with you makes me happy.” He blurted out. Oh no. Oh my. Geez. I thought he remembered me. I thought our first meeting was the most special day. Well it is. It was, just for me, I guess. He never recognized me. All the flirting was useless and yet my hopes are still up. We make a good and interesting conversation. That’s just what it takes. Right? A week after, I passed by the building. I was riding on a jeepney. When I glanced at the door, I saw him and he smiled brilliantly at me. I can’t help but smile too and even waved at him. There’s something about him that makes every nerve in my body go electrified. That night, I sent him a message saying that I was surprised to see him changing post already. He was surprised as well to realize that it was me whom he has seen that day. He recognized me but he never did fathom that I was the one whom he’s been sending messages lately. We don’t really talk a lot and yet the communication is constant. And that’s a good sign, isn’t it? I dread for him to send me a message and yet maybe it’s also a good thing we rarely talk. Every conversation we have makes me feel excited and giggling. It shoots up scent of flowers in my head and I’m really looking forward for every talk we’ll going to have. He promised to take me on “date” sometime in the future. He knows that I can go out anytime unless of course I’ve got new schedules to insert in my planner. I really don’t want to expect anything great from both of us, what we could have, if there is a possibility of any. I know that, still, he isn’t the guy for me. He is good-looking, nice, and someone who captured my heart and yet, like my past, he’s still not the one. I know it in my heart. And yet, I still want to enjoy this unexplainable feeling I have for him. I love the feeling of having that feeling of being in love but not actually falling in love yet. Crazy, right? I’m too young and I’m looking for someone who could get me through emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and even financially. I’d like to be practical in some sense. I like him and yet, it’s not sufficient enough. I may be able to love him but we still won’t have a happy ever after. I love him and yet I won’t be able to give him the love he so deserves. And I’ll be fooling myself to say that he is the one after all. I remember what my Mom told me once. Be very sure with what you commit into. Be dedicated to it and be real to what you really want. Don’t just commit and not wanting it afterwards. I have to be sure of what I’m involving myself into. It’s a good thing that we’re just friends, maybe beyond but still undefined. I don’t want to put labels on it. I don’t want to expect. I don’t want to keep my hopes up. I don’t like commitments. I’m more comfortable with no strings attached that tie us up to each other. I want to establish a relationship but not something that would take me into having sacrifices for what we should have. I’m afraid to take chances. I’m scared taking risks. I don’t want to do something that I could not be sure of. I like him. Maybe, I’d even love him. But I like what we have now. And I hope it’ll remain this way. He’s too nice to have his broken and to be with somebody who dreams of breaking somebody’s heart.

Chapter IV
Happily Ever After

It has always been in my dreams, everything only in my dreams, and yet it’s all happening right now. It is so happening right now. This is really it. He asked me out last night. He said, “Hey Aubrey, you’ve got anything to do tomorrow? It’s my off and I’d like you to come with me somewhere.” When I first read his message, I was at a complete loss for words. I was all dazed to send back a message. Is he really, truly asking me out? I pinch myself just to be sure that I’m not dreaming and surely, it is real. My hands are shaking so hard, my heart beating so fast and I am so hyperventilating. “I’ve got nothing to do tomorrow and I’d gladly come with you tomorrow. So, where do we meet?” I asked excitedly. This is definitely going to have a write-up. Definitely. “I can come pick you up tomorrow. I hate to let you travel early in the morning. Just give me the directions and I’ll be there.” Whew. This day is getting better. I hope I won’t get used to it. “Oh, well, ahm, from your house, you could go straight until you see the first Phoenix gasoline station on you right. Turn right and drive straight till you see the second corner from the crossroad you’ll be passing by. Turn right again on that corner and wait for me on the next crossroad you will see. Does it seem so mixed up?” I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say to him. I’m too nervous to speak up. “This is good. I’ll come pick you up by 5:00 AM tomorrow. Will it be okay with you? We have to be early though. Am I asking too much from you?” Is he asking too much for me? Definitely not. We’re heading out early. This is so too good to be true and yet everything’s just true. Everything’s real. “No. I’d like to be out early. If it’s okay with you, could I jog at where we are going?” Am I serious here? Really, jogging? Gosh! “Yeah, definitely. Well, that was what I’m actually planning for us to do. And he added a sheepish smile emoticon after the statement. You’re really making me fall for you so hard, don’t you? “That’s great. Won’t you be sleeping yet? It’s already late.” I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I had to make an excuse so that we can just have the conversation tomorrow. “Yeah. Goodnight Aubrey. Sleep well.” Do I still have to reply him? Well, here goes nothing. “Goodnight Toby. Sweet dreams.” The following day, I got up at around 4:00AM, took a bath, change to my sweat shirt and pants, prepared my stuffs and poured myself a cup of coffee while waiting for his message. At 5:00AM, my phone beeped. “I’m already here. Where are you?” He’s here. He’s here. “I’m coming.” I’m so ready for this. I jogged towards the corner and slowed down as I approached him. He definitely knows how to take a girl’s breath away. He’s just too cool in his gray shirt and pants. He is….. hot. Seeing me made his dimples in his cheeks form. This is too much. I might just as well melt right here. “Hey, how are you? Hmm, let’s go?” I asked. I was smiling too, already. “You look so nice. Oh, yeah right, we should better be going. Let’s go. Hold tight, cupcake.” And then he laughed at his own statement. I can’t help but let out a laugh too. And then we drove away. “Cupcake, huh? So where do you prefer I place my hands? Shoulders or waist?” And don’t get too imaginative all right. I know that you just may have that thinking of… Never mind” I said through the rumbling sound of the motor. I can’t say it. Not with him. Not when he’s around. “Hold on tight, okay? And for the record, I’m not thinking of anything. Just you.” And he concentrated on his driving. “Just you? What’s that supposed to mean? I know what it means, all right. Why is he being like that? I fall so easy and got hurt so bad. I thought to myself. It was quite a trip and I was holding onto his shoulders. Definitely the shoulders. We arrived. As I have imagined, we’re going to see the sun reflect its rays on the ocean. Definitely, we can’t see the sunrise here but I don’t know his plans, maybe he’d surprise me. Just maybe and yet I’m keeping my aspirations low so I won’t expect too much from it. He parked the bike somewhere safe with our things and we head on the seaside to jog. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you? The first thing we’ve got to do on our first date is jog? Just tell me that you think I’m too fat and I need to watch my food intake. Not this. “I love teasing him. I know he doesn’t intend to imply what I’ve just blurted out but I want to see his reaction on this. And besides, I have to break the ice. I have to tear down the wall between us, right? “Now don’t give me all that now. You’ll definitely regret it later. You’re the one who suggested jogging. It just so happens we both think the same thing. And as you know, I find this activity relaxing, don’t you think?” He loves to smile all right. I can see that. And it makes me fall for him even harder. “And why would I regret it? I don’t see the fault in what I’ve done. And even so, what can you really do to me, huh, young man?” I’m beginning to love this day. “Are you sure that you wanted to know? Nah, forget it. I’ll get back to you later. Meanwhile, maybe we should concentrate on the jogging. I’ll lose more air if I keep talking to you like this.” He gasped for his breath. “Yeah. You’re right.” And we both silently jog afterwards. None of us spoke anything. He was leading us somewhere I’m not sure but what do I know? I’m not from here. “Let’s stop for a while. I’m famished. Wait for me here. I’ll get us something to eat.” He left me. Just like that. And where’s he supposed to get the food? Don’t tell me he had all of it prepared yesterday? A few minutes later, he came back with fruits, sandwiches and bottled waters. “I don’t suppose all of these just fell down from the tree, did it?” I smiled at him. He is so very much prepared for this. “Well, I guess it has to be that way. You know that you’re special, especially to me. Now, eat up. I don’t want to see you starving.” I just stare him for a long time and got to my “eating”. After a while, he spoke up. “Hey Aubrey? Turn around. You might want to see this. And I hope you brought your camera with you because this would be a waste of a view of the scenery.” I was then stunned with what I saw. It was fascinating. It was indeed a beautiful sunrise, just the way my day started with him. Oh yeah, right, my camera. I fished it out of my pocket and took lots of picture until I got tired of it. It’s a beauty, a portrait of a new beginning, a ray of hope and sunshine after the rain. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for bringing me out here. I never knew there could be such a place with this splendid view. I love it, I mean the sunrise. It’s amazing. Breathtaking.” He just smiled. I smiled back at him and returned my gaze on the beautiful sunrise just beginning to unfold before my eyes. Afterwards, we went back to his bike and went to Mambukal. I told him before that I was never able to visit it before and he’d like that he’ll be with me on my visit there. Charming I would say. We spent the whole morning climbing the seven falls. It was so exhausting but just seeing him smile takes away all of the soreness of my whole body. He often helps me. He is the guy after all. Or is it really the reason? When we reached the seventh fall, I took lots of pictures. He took a lot of pictures of me as well and him also. Then, for one moment there, we just sat at one of the stones and let silence took over us. I wanted to ask him something but I was too shy and was taken aback but as if he could read my mind, he took the liberty of asking what’s been bothering me. “What is it?” He gave me that reassuring smile again as if telling me that I can tell him anything in the world. “Is it possible that we can have a picture together?” I was blushing. I felt my cheeks turned though for some reasons, I think it wasn’t that visible. “Sure. But who would hold the camera for us?” As what I often do, I set it in a self - shot mode. When I’m about to take the shot, he placed his hands on my shoulders. My hands were quivering but I just suppressed that rising feeling of excitement and took the shot. The photo came out just perfect. We headed home afterwards but before we went home, we went back to where we sat that early morning. By now, we are waiting for the sun to set and it has gloriously gone down. Just as my day started like the sunrise, it likewise ended just like the sunset. Splendid. When we arrived at home, I was not able to invite him in since he has to go somewhere. “Aubrey. Thanks for the time. I really enjoyed hanging out with you. “If he keeps on plastering that smile in his face, I’d have to kill myself sooner or later. “I had a great time too. Thank you as well. Hmm, so, this is it. Bye. See you soon?” I want to be with him again, spend time with him and have conversation with him. “Yeah. Soon. Definitely.” Then, as if like a bolt of lightning had passed by, he just place a quick kiss in my forehead and drove away. As always, it simply was just like that to him. This is what I could truly call a “day”. Later that night, I kept on thinking what had happened between us and what had just happened. Could there be something special between us? I like him but I don’t know what’s going on his mind. A week after our so called date, I’ve got answers to those questions running through my mind. He came in my house, unexpected. I let him in, we stayed at the living room area and we talked. He asked me how my day was, if I’m feeling fine, what I have been up to lately. Then his next question surprised me and surprise would be an understatement but then he asked, “Aubrey, will you be my girl?” I just stared at him for some time. I don’t know what to say. I’m not even sure how to react. I’ve been thinking about that question lately, been dreaming about it if you have to ask me but I did not expect it to be so soon, that it would really came true, that it is happening right now. “Aubrey, I’m willing to wait. You can always take all the time you need to think. I just thought you’d like to know what I feel.” We had movie marathon after that awkward situation and even shared a few laughs in between movies. But neither of us said anything about that question posted. Then, involuntarily, I leaned my head on his shoulders to seek solace, to feel safe, to find comfort in his arms. And out of whatever it is, he placed his arms on my shoulder. And right at that moment, I know, he is the one. It was him. It’s him I’ve been looking for.