Love or Dependence

Love or Dependence? Romance can cause both men and women to act frivolously, which makes the difference between love and lust difficult to distinguish. The desire of another human being leads to irrational thought and actions. Sometimes one will create sensations of love where no love exists. As demonstrated in both William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Giovanni Boccaccio’s The Decameron, and Po Hsing-Chien’s The Story of Miss Li one may create feelings of love in order to overcome a recent or persisting tragedy. In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo’s breakup with his former romantic interest, Rosaline, left him unsuspectingly susceptible to superficial feelings of love. His affection towards both Rosaline and Juliet is shallow because he is immature and inexperienced. The lust Romeo feels towards Juliet is healthy and normal for a sixteen year old boy, but the failure of his past relationship causes him to act rashly and selfishly. Friar Lawrence, Romeo’s wise friend and trusted advisor even doubts how Romeo’s love for Juliet could be true so shortly after his breakup, “Is Rosaline, that thou didst love so dear, /So soon forsaken? Young men’s love then lies /Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes” (Shakespeare, 89). The friar believes that Romeo falls in love with a woman’s appearance, not her soul. Love of the human figure is a very Renaissance ideal, while love of the whole person and soul is a very Christian notion. These two views of love conflict and Shakespeare represents this debate in the conversation between
Lanza 2
Romeo and Friar Lawrence. Because the setting of Romeo and Juliet takes place in Verona in the midst of the Italian Renaissance, the absence of female physical beauty leaves Romeo to feel incomplete, therefore he (perhaps subconsciously) seeks out to fill the void left by Rosaline. Although one could argue that Romeo and Juliet’s attraction is “true love,” it is evident that he is using Juliet as a rebound to get over the heartbreak he suffered with Rosaline. Juliet, a young girl having just reached marrying age, uses Romeo to rebel against her own family. Her family, the Capulets, wish to marry her off. The Capulets want to give her away to a wealthy nobleman, Paris. By choosing Romeo, Juliet rebels against her parents and the typical societal norms of the time because she asserts her own decisions, “I will not marry yet, and when I do /I swear It shall be Romeo...Rather than Paris” (165). Juliet desires to become a wife, but she fears marrying a man with whom she does not want to be with. If Romeo and Juliet’s love was true love, they would have the foresight and patience and wait to be together. Neither Juliet nor Romeo attempted to solve their families’ quarrel, but instead chose (unsuccessfully) to run away and be together. One may see the two lovers to be the victims of this tragedy, but they are no more at fault than their parents, or the society they live in. Romeo and Juliet selfishly chose to defy their parents’ wishes and in doing so, they cause only more pain and drama. If the two were truly in love, they would know that the most loving decision either could make would be to end their fling, however both acted selfishly without thinking of their parents’ or each other's safety. The tale of Federigo degli Alberighi in Boccaccio’s The Decameron, attempts to use love to prevail over his persisting failures financially and in courtship. Federigo tries many times to
Lanza 3 court women, but fails. He courts a beautiful widow and noblewoman, Monna Giovanna, and ends up in ruin by doing so. His constant failure in courting women leaves him with a whole, one he can no longer fill with material goods as he has no money left, therefore his only option at success in life is to marry. Federgio’s attachment to Monna is a product of desperation. He feeds her his last valuable possession, his falcon. While this rash decision resulted in his favor, Federigo would have appeared as a fool if his attempt had gone sour. True love is mutual and Monna never admits to have any feelings toward him other than gratitude. When her brothers insist she remarries, she states that she “would prefer to remain a widow...but if you wish me to take a husband, you may rest assured that I shall take no man but Federigo degli Alberighi” (Boccaccio, 106). Monna does not love Federigo, nor does she even desire to marry him, instead she uses him when forced to make a decision. In Po Hsing-Chien’s The Story of Miss Li, the young nobleman’s feelings towards Miss Li only arise out of the pain he felt during his time without wealth. Although Miss Li initially betrays the nobleman, he cannot help but feel gratitude towards her after she rescues him from his destitute life. His love is similar to that of the victim of a kidnapping who suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, while Miss Li’s compassion towards him stems from the fear of being punished, “Every one in the land knows that it is I who have reduced him to his present plight. The Court is full of his kinsmen. Some day one of them will come into power. Then an inquiry will be set afoot, and disaster will overtake us” (Po). She restores the nobleman to his former self, and in doing so saves herself from incurring the wrath of his family and the government.

Lanza 4
Neither is an example of true love, but rather each’s love only serves to solve their own individual problems. When one is truly in love with another human being, he or she is concerned with the wellbeing of one’s lover over his or her own safety, needs, and wants. Romeo and Juliet used each other. Juliet was Romeo’s way of mending a broken heart and she, in turn, used Romeo in order to rebel against her parents. The lack of concern for their lover’s safety shows that their love was artificial, fabricated by Romeo, Juliet, and Friar Lawrence to solve multiple problems. Federigo used Monna to feel successful, while Monna only married him to satisfy her concerned brothers. After committing an inhuman crime, Miss Li shows compassion towards the young nobleman in hope that she can clear her name. The nobleman is so helpless and grateful towards Miss Li that he becomes dependent upon her, therefore imagining a love that does not exist. In the wake of tragedy it is only human to become attached to another person, but one should not mistake the feelings of dependence for feelings of love.