It most likely caused him to become depressed often throughout his life. One of the most influential times Luther experienced this depression was when he was called to perform his first mass, he approached it with what Bainton calls “uncommon dread” (40). Luther pushed back the date of his mass so his father could attend, he was excited to show his father what he had learned—as previously mentioned Luther longed for paternal approval—but when he was conducting the mass “the terror of the Hold, the horror of the Infinitude, smote him like a new lightning bolt, and only through a fearful restraint could he hold himself to the altar to the end” (41). After the mass was completed Luther went to his father for approval, already feeling inadequate based on his fear of God and to his dismay Hans Luther did not confirm his son but rather enraged before all Martin Luther’s guests exclaimed “you learned scholar, have you never read in the bible that you should honor your father and mother? And here you have left me and your dear mother to look after ourselves in our old age” (42). Luther reached out to his father in search of love and acceptance during a time of great turmoil and was met with harsh words and rebuke, which could be why throughout his life Luther searched for acceptance and was wary of authority
It most likely caused him to become depressed often throughout his life. One of the most influential times Luther experienced this depression was when he was called to perform his first mass, he approached it with what Bainton calls “uncommon dread” (40). Luther pushed back the date of his mass so his father could attend, he was excited to show his father what he had learned—as previously mentioned Luther longed for paternal approval—but when he was conducting the mass “the terror of the Hold, the horror of the Infinitude, smote him like a new lightning bolt, and only through a fearful restraint could he hold himself to the altar to the end” (41). After the mass was completed Luther went to his father for approval, already feeling inadequate based on his fear of God and to his dismay Hans Luther did not confirm his son but rather enraged before all Martin Luther’s guests exclaimed “you learned scholar, have you never read in the bible that you should honor your father and mother? And here you have left me and your dear mother to look after ourselves in our old age” (42). Luther reached out to his father in search of love and acceptance during a time of great turmoil and was met with harsh words and rebuke, which could be why throughout his life Luther searched for acceptance and was wary of authority