Lysander: A Fictional Narrative

Whilst furiously searching high and low for my true love, I stumbled upon a rat. Better known as Demetrius. Knowing how he loves me so, I assumed that he must have killed Lysander in his sleep in an attempt to remove Lysander from the equation. Having possibly already taken Lysander’s life, I insisted that Demetrius should just take the plunge and take mine as well. I shall be with my lover in life and in death after all. Then a possibility, one that I had not even considered, crept into the back of my mind and reared its ugly head. What if my dear Lysander left me? There is no way that Lysander would have possibly left me! He loves me and very much so. For him to have up and left is simply impossible. I would only believe that he truly left me “... As soon this whole Earth may be bored, and that the moon may through the center
creep…” Besides, Demetrius looked just as guilty as someone who had taken the life of another human. He fired back explaining that that is exactly how he looked, dead and lifeless, because I have killed him with my unkindness. Alright, he is rather melodramatic if you ask me. I then began to beg Demetrius to tell me Lysander’s whereabouts and he said that he would feed the corpse of Lysander, assuming that he is truly dead, to his dogs Eventually, after having enough of his lies spoonfed to me, I left in a blind rage. Only to return to find Lysander as well!
Oh my dear was back! Yet, I couldn’t help but wonder why he left in the first place. His answer was that he hated me. That was not the tune he was singing a while ago! What has happened to my love? He is truly out of his mind, fawning over and protecting Helena of all people. We have Lysander who has gone crazy, and Helena who is behaving just as erratically as the next man. She even had the audacity to say that I was conspiring against her, which isn’t the case at all. She also dares to claim that I am insulting her, when in truth she is insulting me! Then everything went downhill from there. Demetrius and Lysander kept threatening to fight each other of all things, all the while Lysander is insulting me and calling me names. Instead of his lover, I am now a cat, a burr, a poison, and he only wishes me to leave him be! Meanwhile, Helena and I begun to quarrel as well. She jeers and taunts me until she makes a comment on my height. She can call me a puppet and call me a horrible person, but she can not make light of my height! I am not above gouging her eyeballs out, and that is the cold hard
truth. Hermia then starts playing the ‘Damsel in Distress’ card and pleading with the two gentlemen to insure that I will not to lay a finger on her. Helena then has the nerve to apologize for telling Demetrius about mine and Lysander’s plan, if it can even be considered as an apology, and then goes back on her word and continues to insult me. Apparently I am now a mere hellcat! All the while, both Lysander and Demetrius are right at her side defending her. What dogs. What pigs! Everyone had turned against me. Then, everyone left and I was once again left alone in the woods. For shame, my lover had left me for another woman, and my childhood friend has abandoned me. It hurts and it makes my heart ache with grief. Disheartened, I attempted to make my way back to civilization and stopped to take a rest when my torn and tattered body could no longer go on. I then went to sleep with the thought of my old lover on my mind. Whatever is going on, I hope it will all turn out okay and the world will be set back in order once again.