Masculinity Research Paper

The male species is an interesting one to describe. The average male’s interests consist of cars, sports, food—and of course—females. From a female’s perspective, males are just difficult to comprehend and to decipher. Women go through so much emotional, mental, and physical (don’t discount the time and effort wasted away on diets, makeup, nails, etc!) pain to impress men and hopefully go on a date with one of them. However, there is a specimen which remains even more difficult to impress than your average male—your average high school male. High school boys—emphasis on boys—are even more frustrating, inconsistent, and unpredictable than the mere men. They’re at the stage where they’ve finally hit Mother Nature’s wonderful process of puberty. Gone are the days of middle school when we girls towered over the miniscule statures of boys. BUT all of it is an illusion. They still have the maturity of a 12-year-old boy, but now they’ve become obsessed with boobs and sex. Yeah, I said it and I’ll say it again—boobs and sex. I may sound like a bitter, 17-year-old girl, and that is because I am. Hollywood has been and is still committing a disservice to women of all ages with their misleading,
lovey-dovey happy endings to every one of their chick flicks. They usually don’t apply to your normal Tom, Dick, or Harry—and especially not the adolescent ones. I’ve learned vicariously through many girls at my school that there’s only one absolute, surefire way to impress a teenage boy—look and act like a slut, because you were brought into this world to be nothing but a sex object.
Probably the most important thing in attracting a boy is that we girls must look the part. First thing is you must always dress according to a boy’s fantasies. Leave barely anything to the imagination. School rules? Psh, they’re just guidelines, right? To attract a boy, girls, you must accentuate the three B’s—belly, boobs, and booty.
Low-cut, crop tops and teeny-tiny shorts are ideal for this objective. You must wear at least one or the other on a daily basis—rain or shine. Coats? Pants? Those are two items which you’ll need to omit from your closet and vocabulary. You don’t need them, because you’re a sex object, and you’re good for nothing but sex. Remember? You want to date that hot, popular guy on the basketball team, right? Well as long as you walk around school like a pre-porno, you’ll inevitably have a boyfriend within the week. Unless you’re fat. In that case, you must starve yourself and hit the treadmill until you feel you might pass out. THEN, you may proceed to the previously mentioned step.
However, it isn’t only the body that needs to look good. Heard of the term “butter face?” It’s a play on words—“but her face”—and refers to a girl with a hot body but a rundown face, and you definitely don’t want to be one of those if you want a boyfriend. You have an average or ugly face? No worries! You fix that by dying your hair a color only a porn star would dare wear and proceeding to horribly damage it by either straightening or curling it. If you’re of the Caucasian descent, be sure you make a trip to the tanning salon because being pale nowadays is the equivalent of being fat—it’s just ugly and unsexy. Then, make sure you slather several layers of foundation and powder on your face, then apply black eye shadow/eyeliner/mascara, and finally applying that perfect shade of color lipstick which says “these lips are made for kissing, and that’s just what they’ll do” (a play on Nancy Sinatra for you). Don’t worry; the goal is to look absolutely nothing like your normal self.
Now that you look the part of being the absolute perfect trophy girl, you have to act the part!
The most important thing to remember is that you aren’t supposed to have even the slightest bit of a brain or personality. You’re not funny. You’re not smart. You’re not interesting. Get all those silly ideas out of your nonexistent brain. All you have to do is laugh in a very girly and high-pitched manner to all of your object of affection’s jokes—or even better—laugh at everything he says. If he asks you a question, don’t panic, and don’t even dare let him catch you say anything remotely intelligent. This could be accomplished by thinking like a beauty pageant contestant—“such as—like the—the Africa—such as—the uh…the.” He’ll think, aw, how cute! She tried to use her pretend
brain.
By this time, after following each step religiously, you’ve most likely been able to capture the attention of a boy and have become his personal object to make out and walk around with. Girls, you can’t afford to get lazy with being a sex object, and yes that means you must have sex with him to keep him. It’ll even help to carry a sandwich and a mini vacuum in your overly-large designer bag, which will remind him that you can cook and clean—that you’re his ideal girl.
Getting a high school boy to like you—heck, even any male to like you—is as easy as one-two-three as long as you girls stay true to what God intended for you to be—a man’s personal servant and sex object. Sure, he doesn’t care about how you feel or what you’re thinking, but it’s okay because it’s definitely better than being lonely, isn’t it?