Liberty University
Abstract
For decades researches have been attempting to indentify some key characteristics or personal qualities that could be formulated in such a way as to predict the probability of marital success between two parties. If indeed some formula could be implemented that would take into account what characteristics and/or personal qualities must be present for two people to enter into a marital agreement with a higher than average success rate; mate selection could then be narrowed down to parties that fit each others needs and effectually increasing the chances for marital success. Unfortunately, while there have been many advances in this area of research that may help potential mates understand each others needs for marital happiness, a solid formula to identify an optimal mate is still just a idea.
Mate Selection Criteria for Marital Success: Is It Possible?
To properly understand the question of whether or not it is possible to define criteria that can be used for the purposes of mate selection that would ultimately lead to marital success, one must first understand the term, “marital success.” In the chapter titled Marital Adjustment, McKinney describes marriage,
“Marriage in its best form in civilized life is the culmination of romantic love and courtship; it is the sublimation of the more primitive sex impulses. It is a fusion of the relationships existent in friendship, companionship, and sexual attraction. Ideally, it occurs after numerous friendships with the opposite sex, and after a courtship, which has tested the social and temperamental compatibility of the pair. It is a public declaration of affection and fidelity, and is approved by society.” (McKinney, 1941, pg. 387)
In a society rich with relationships from the parental to the personal friendship and all the way to the simple acquaintance, marriage then, would be the relationship that most ultimately seeks. Some will seek friendships and eventually find a mate while still others will seek a mate and in the process form many friendships. However mate selection occurs, the fact is that it does occur and is a driving force in the lives of many people.
Contrary to mass media and divorce rates, most go into this relationship with the intension of it being successful in life and happiness. In fact, in the research sources of this essay are reports of many who are unhappy, but unwilling to give up hope. McKinney also found this in his research and stated, “It can be seen from the attitudes of some of these unhappily married people that divorce, even to those who are faced with an acute need for some adjustment in their relationship, does not appear as a solution.” (McKinney, 1941, pg. 388)
This then would seem to be the driving force behind so much research to answer the question; is it possible to indentify and utilize definitive characteristics and qualities necessary for the formation of a happy and successful marriage?
Personality Characteristics
For years, studies have struggled in an attempt to define attributes that are both measureable and clear enough to give quality data in this search. Those qualities that one holds as necessary in a mate can seem ambivalent and hard to define. They can also become so strenuous as to seem to limit the possibilities of finding a mate to almost non-existent. In fact, Houts and his associates stated in a fairly recent study,
“It becomes clear, then, that as the number of independent domains that a person considers when choosing a mate increases, and the number of salient attributes within each domain increases, the likelihood of finding a spouse who meets all criteria decreases to a minuscule level.” (Houts, Robins and Huston, 1996)
There are however some personality characteristics defined by Botwin, Buss and Shackelford that help. According to their study, most people regardless of sex are looking for someone like themselves. They named Intellect-Openness and Agreeableness as the most consistently values personality characteristics while Emotional Stability and Conscientiousness were also highly valued. (Botwin, Buss, Shackelford, 1997) In the discussion portion of their report they summarize,
“these studies provide evidence that personality plays an important role in the mating process. Both men and women have well-articulated desires for the personality characteristics they want in a mate. They tend to select mates who are similar to themselves and who embody their ideals. Having a mate who shows certain personality characteristics, particularly low Agreeableness, low Emotional Stability, and low Intellect-Openness, is linked with marital dissatisfaction. Those who have mates who fulfill their desires for high Agreeableness, high Emotional Stability, and high Intellect-Openness show higher levels of marital happiness.” (Botwin, Buss, Shackelford, 1997)
While this does give some hope, these personality characteristics are still very vague and leave a large amount of room for improvement. That is not to say that these characteristics were found without merit, but rather provide support for the need for further study.
Narrowing the Options
References
Houts, R. M., Robins, E., & Huston, T. L. (1996). Compatibility and the development of premarital relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 58(1), 7-7. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/219746586?accountid=12085
Sally A. Lloyd, Rodney M. Cate and June M. Henton. Predicting Premarital Relationship Stability: A Methodological Refinement, Journal of Marriage and Family , Vol. 46, No. 1 (Feb., 1984), pp. 71-76, Published by: National Council on Family Relations, Article Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/351865
Schumm, W. R., Walker, A. B., Nazarinia, R., West, D. A., Atwell, C., Bartko, A., & Kriley, A. (2010). Predicting the Short- and Long-Term Helpfulness of Premarital Counseling: The Critical Role of Counseling Quality. Journal Of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 9(1), 1-15. doi:10.1080/15332690903473044. Retrieved from, http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/login.aspx?direct=true&db=sih&AN=47847766&site=ehost-live&scope=site
Marital adjustment, McKinney, Fred , (1941). Psychology of personal adjustment: Students' introduction to mental hygiene. Wiley books in psychology., (pp. 387-413). Hoboken, NJ, US: John Wiley & Sons Inc, xi, 636 pp. doi: 10.1037/13586-012. Retrieved from http://psycnet.apa.org.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/books/13586/012.pdf
Personality and mate preferences: five factors in mate selection and marital satisfaction, Botwin, M., Buss, D., & Shackelford, T. (1997). Journal Of Personality, 65(1), 107-136. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/login.aspx?direct=true&db=mnh&AN=9143146&site=ehost-live&scope=site
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