Preview

Mate Selection Pros And Cons

Good Essays
Open Document
Open Document
2027 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Mate Selection Pros And Cons
Mate Selection When I am choosing a mate, I try to be as realistic as possible. I want a mate who is funny, family oriented, good at communicating, has some college education, driven and older than me. I don’t think that my expectations are overly complicated, I believe they are simple. I do meet most of my criteria but I believe that there is always room for improvement. I am currently working on being a better communicator. Communication is something that I have struggled with for various reasons. At times when I open up I am ridiculed for doing so; however, when I shut down I am also ridiculed. In past relationships, I believe proximity played the biggest role in selecting a mate. I tended to date either guys that I worked with or guys …show more content…
Unfortunately, studies have shown that the longer a couple cohabitates before marriage or engagement the less likely they will be to marry. I have cohabited with one ex and the experience was amazing when we were happy and horrific when we were angry. The experience showed me that there are pros and cons to every living situation. It shed a neutral light onto cohabitation for me. I would not cohabitate with a partner again unless I am engaged to be married within a year’s time. I learned that I enjoy my space, the freedom to come and go as I please, and the ability to maintain my peace in my own personal space. It is not always easy doing those things when you have another person’s space to respect as well. I believe that the goal of cohabitation is marriage but the perception is often skewed. If you aren’t married you will not feel obligated to stay and you will run at the first sign of conflict. I believe marriage is a sacred thing and the coming together of two souls should be respected as such; however, in today’s society it is not. I do not plan on getting married soon because people are getting married solely for love and it is not a stable foundation. I would prefer to build with someone and have a firm foundation prior to marriage versus marrying someone and discovering all their financial debts and inadequacies once it is too

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Satisfactory Essays

    The Holland Marsh is a crucial part of Ontario’s agriculture economy as it brings in over $1 billion of revenue each year. Various types of crops are grown each year, including onions, carrots, cabbage, potatoes and peas. However, majority of the farms are allocated specifically for onions and carrots as they are the most popular crops and bring in the most revenue. Prior to 1954, the Holland Marsh went through various stages of change. Before the 1900’s, the Marsh was a source of food for aboriginals and european settlers who would also fish and hunt. In the early 1900’s, talks about draining the Holland Marsh for agriculture use began to arise. Eventually construction began in 1925 and a canal system was created to divert the Holland River.…

    • 139 Words
    • 1 Page
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Over the last 40 years marriage rates have declined significantly while the number of couple’s cohabitating has risen rapidly. This is due to our changing society where equality, laws, social acceptance and religions have all contributed into the way we view marriage and relationships. In the 1970’s there were around 400,000 first marriages whereas, in 2011, there were 248,000. The average ages of people getting married have also increased from 25 for men and 23 for women in 1961 to 36 for men and 33 for women in 2011. Cohabitation is a big factor in the decreasing number of marriages with people using it as either an alternative to marriage entirely, or a ‘trial marriage’ which just delays the time of a couple’s marriage.…

    • 918 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    One reason is changing social attitudes. Religion regarded cohabitation as ‘living in sin’, but today there is less shame attached to it. Barlow et al found increasing acceptance of cohabitation. This shows that the change in religions social attitude, cohabitation is accepted more, leading to an increase in cohabitation. Some people prefer love that focuses of on intimacy, closeness and emotion rather than the duties of marriage. Giddens argues that there has been a trend towards confluent love. This love focuses on the intimacy, closeness and emotion of a relationship, rather than the feelings of obligation and duty that is in vows at marriage. When a marriage no longer has confluent love, the relationship is likely to end. This shows that monogamy may start being replaced by serial monogamy, in which cohabitation is most suited to. However, the ONS found that 60% of cohabiting couples will eventually end in marriage showing that monogamy can often replace serial monogamy. There is less pressure to follow traditional norms and values. Beck and Beck-Gernshiem argue that individualism has led to changing attitudes towards cohabitation and marriage. There is less pressure to follow the norms and values around love and relationships set by family, religion or culture. This shows that the change in attitudes has led to people making their own decision about whether they marry or cohabitate. The acceptance of sex outside marriage has made it more likely that cohabitation will occur. Allan and Crow argue that effective contraception has made it possible for partners to cohabit without fear of pregnancy. This alongside the acceptance of sex before marriage means cohabitation without marriage is likely to occur. This shows that the change in social attitudes towards sex outside of marriage has led to an increase in cohabitation.…

    • 585 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Cherlin explains that the majority of people who get married are in their late 20’s to early 30’s in the 21st century. Shockingly, divorce has ben successfully decreasing. People with higher education are less likely to get divorced according to todays statistics. Having an education seems to create a level of succession within a humans lifetime. Education also seemed to affect people who choose to live with a partner outside of marriage. Cherins research conducted that Cohabiters are more likely to have a lower education level than married people, this does not include people with same sex relationships, that unable to get married because of law restrictions. I myself believe that its extremely important to receive an education before getting married and committing yourself to someone else. Having an education helps you map our your life before you decide to make more important decisions such as marriage. It’s not surprising to see that people who cohabit have less of an…

    • 700 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    not saying i do

    • 422 Words
    • 2 Pages

    2. What accounts for the view that living together for a period of time is considered socially acceptable and deciding to maintain such an arrangement with no intention of ever marrying is not is the fact that a couple who moves in together is one step closer to getting married in the social world. Couples who don’t get married are looked down on because in the social world once you move in with your partner, your next step is marriage. I believe its okay to live together and if you don’t want to get married you shouldn’t have to. Marriage isn’t for everyone, especially not me.…

    • 422 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    A fear of divorce is also something heavily influencing trends in both marriage and cohabitation. Young people, having perhaps experienced parental divorce are feared of entering into a commitment that they are simply not sure about, this sometimes seems like a reasonable thing to do considering the high divorce rate, a third of marriages currently ending in divorce. This would of course increase cohabitation as more and more people wish to enter into what Chester deems a ‘trial marriage’, to ensure marital…

    • 680 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Live-in relationships are a better way to determine if the partner is right: I have seen many couples who date and plan to stay together in order to figure out whether their relationship would work in the future or not. However, according to psychology and my personal experience, this is not true. Living alone as couples is way different than when responsibilities start to pour in. It is not important that the same person would behave in the same way before as well as after the marriage.…

    • 622 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    We typically commit one person at a time. From an evolutionary perspective, monogamous pairing makes sense (parents who cooperated to nurture children more often passed on their genes to future generation). Bonds of love are most satisfying and enduring with a similarity of interests and values, emotional and material spot, and intimate self-disclosure. Those who commit with marriage more often endure, esp. after age 20. The divorce rate is 2x higher than 40 years ago, reflecting women's lessened economic dependence and people's rising expectations. Studies show that those who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and marital dysfunction because cohabiters tend to be initially less committed to the ideal of enduring marriage and then they become even less supporting during the…

    • 758 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Marriage has been a long time traditional and sacred event that intends to keep a couple together for a life time. People have engaged in this activity to promote customs, traditions, and family values. It has been a long time tradition that most cultures participate in all over the world. In recent years it has become socially acceptable to live together before marriage or even not marry altogether. I have been married for 6 years. Of that six, my wife and I only lived unmarried together for a couple of weeks. We discussed early on some of our pet peeve’s that bothered us when living with others, such as family members. This is what I believed help our relationship and understanding of one another.…

    • 763 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    I remember when my husband and I were dating and we both decided to move in with each other rather quickly. We both felt in order to really get to know one another; we had to see how compatible we both were. Because of this, in just a short three years, we were married but living together really proved to be a valuable lesson for the future. In today’s society many people are getting married and divorced at record rates which are really affecting people views psychologically when it comes to marriage vs. cohabitation; therefore, I plan on exploring both options to see how both of these options work.…

    • 826 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In sum cultures such as certain countries in Europe view cohabitation as an alternative to marriage while other cultures may view it as a step toward marriage. However, other cultures such the western culture have an in-between view of cohabitation. The book states that the more cases of cohabitation, the more cases of divorce are observed. This was proven through various experiments on different couples. From a personal observation, sexual intimacy, the need to split expenses, and companionship are the main drivers of cohabitation. In my opinion, one needs some time to connect with their partner on a spiritual and emotional level before engaging in sexual intimacy. When sexual intimacy is the dominant driver of the cohabitation which in most cases it is, it stands in the way of getting a deeper understanding of who the other person is. Also, I think that individuals who cohabit have a harder time committing to each other for life as they are able to see the other person’s flaws before they enter a binding marriage. Most of the time, those flaws appear as a deal breaker. The situation becomes more complicated when children are involved. As a young Christian, I believe that one should avoid cohabiting since it brings premarital sex into the equation which is a sin in front of God. However, I think that the church should not abandon those who have fallen into the trap of cohabiting and possibly had children out of marriage. Our purpose is to glorify God and love our fellow humans as Christ loved…

    • 838 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Mate retention tactics are used to guard the partner one has acquired in current romantic…

    • 248 Words
    • 1 Page
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In 1960 less than a half a million people cohabitated. Today that number is closer to five million people along with another half a million same sex couples living together. During the 1990s fifty-six percent of the marriages that occurred were preceded by living together first. There is greater than a fifty percent chance that a woman will marry if she has lived with the man for more than five years. More than half of high school seniors’ believe that it is a good idea to live together before marriage. If you are divorced you are more likely to cohabitate. There are advantages to living together before you are married. Economically it may provide a better life for the two people to be able share household expenses. People who are on public assistance may lose that assistance if they are married. College students may choose to live with their significant other secretly as to not lose their parents assistance. It also provides people with a way to share a life without the legal entanglements of marriage. Some people believe that cohabitation will strengthen their relationships and eventually lead to marriage. Other studies show that living together first show a divorce rate twice as high after ten years of marriage. Cohabitation may not actually be the cause of divorce though. Typically people who with less traditional views of marriage cohabitate together. Because they already value the idea less that may be what leads to eventual…

    • 484 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Juliet defies her parent's wishes for her to marry Paris. In Elizabethan society, people would regard the act of a woman defying a man preposterous, making the context of this scene crucial for Juliet’s progression into a mature woman. Juliet, only fourteen, develops into a woman when her submissive nature leaves her. In response to her father’s arranged marriage, Juliet states this. “Proud can I never be of what I hate.” (3.3.147). In her conversation with her mother, Juliet pleads with her mother to delay the marriage. When Lady Capulet refuses to listen to her daughter, Juliet boldly threatens her mother that she may “make the bridal bed/In that dim monument where Tybalt lies” (3.5.201-202). Such a threat opposes her earlier obedience to her mother wherein Juliet states that “no more deep will I endart mine eye/Than your consent gives strength to make it fly” (1.3.100-101). She believes as an “adult” she should be able to make her own decisions.…

    • 320 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    aims to activate social responsibility in a company and to develop its employees to be responsible corporate…

    • 12974 Words
    • 52 Pages
    Good Essays