It had been ages since he'd bothered to allow himself the luxury of a real date. When it got past the second or third date and the woman started to ask what he did for a living and where he worked, things got complicated. Sure, he could lie, but he'd grown weary of it. It was easier to save himself the aggravation. The intelligence community was rife with stories of ugly divorces and custody battles when the long-suffering spouse couldn't take the secrecy, denial and danger the job entailed. It took a special person to handle it. Most of the time it was someone who worked in the same profession. Those relationships didn't seem to fair any better as far as Alec could tell. It got lonely. It would be nice to have someone to come home to. If he had that would want to go back out again? Probably not. That was why so many transferred out or just retired from service. That wanted a life beyond the CIA and they didn't want their family sued as a bargaining chip.
Most agents were fine with putting their lives on the line, for them it' was part and parcel of serving the country. Once they were married and had children their focus inevitably shifted to their family and to ensuring their safety. Every married agent knows their family can be used as a bargaining chip. It's something they fight against, taking special precautions not mention them, carry pictures or even have cell phone number