Men on the Dl

Nhoung, Sophanet
11/19/2012

Yes, He’s Gay!

I agree with what Brenda Browder is saying about men on the down-low. They need to admit the truth about being homosexual because they are not only harming themselves but also hurting their family. She mentioned that men on the DL are harming themselves because someone could use their secret against them by blackmailing them. Consequently end their career and their reputation. It is better to admit the truth than to live a double life. They are harming their family by possibility passing on sexually transmitted diseases to their wife and children. Another important point she made is that being black is already difficult enough, but being a black homosexual man is even more challenging because the community often look down upon them. The black community often shun people for being gay, which encourages more homosexual men to hide their true identity and consequently forces them to use women as cover ups. This sounds like a vicious cycle that needs to end starting from the community. Men on the DL don’t consider themselves gay, they think having sex with men is just a “thing” they do. It doesn’t define their identity. This method of thinking causes many proud homosexuals to be very angry because “they feel that it’s casting a negative light on the gay community.” What I do not agree with is when the author speaks of homosexuals as being a “sin” and it’s something people could deliver themselves from. I find this very offensive because people are who they are. You can’t just go to church and ask the pastor to deliver you from being gay. She also compared homosexual to drug addiction or an eating disorder. This is an internal ordeal one must figure out themselves. Yes, there are those who are “reformed bisexual”, but one cannot simply go in front of a mirror and simply say “I want to be straight” and then becomes straight. Some people feel they are born with it, just as any straight person feel about being straight. We know who we are and who we should and shouldn’t be. I feel that the other author is angry with her husband for keeping her in the dark for so long. She first talks about why DL should admit their true identity. Which is agreeable, but then she goes on saying that being gay is sinful. She talks about it as if it’s a crime or a disease people could just get help from. DL men can stop harming others by telling the true, but they sinful for being gay.