Miley Cyrus Satire Essay
You Are Like, Such a Good Role Model
Dear Miley Cyrus,
When I looked at the airbrushed cutout of you that is standing in my room just now, I was suddenly struck by a sense of awe and respect. Shockingly, several of my classmates have accused you of being a letdown role model compared to your early Hannah Montana days, but I wholeheartedly refute these arguments with undeniable proof of your suitable behavioral choices, mature romantic relationships, and artistic bathroom photography. You go girl! Keep on setting praiseworthy examples for your prepubescent fans!!!
Your judgment and manner of behavior are very commendable and show what a great role model you truly are. The fairly recent leaked video of you smoking salvia was inspiring, and since it is harder to obtain salvia than other drugs, I asked Melvin to grab me some cigarettes and I smoke a pack a day now. Another clear example of your beneficial influence on my actions is that I now am more famous among my classmates’ parents because I learned new dance moves from your pole-dancing act at the Teen Choice Awards. While I was at a birthday party, I gyrated my body in a pole dance, attracting the wide eyes of many a parent. Now I hear my name …show more content…
(accompanied by brief, shocked glances) come up in conversations between adults all the time! How wonderful! I now know exactly what it means to be famous thanks to following your exemplar behavior.
I had never really considered the concept of having a boyfriend much older than me until you started an admirable new relationship with Justin Gaston, an underwear model who is four years older than you.
Your completely appropriate and suitable choice to have Justin move in with you compelled me to find a considerably older boyfriend of my own. His name is Melvin, and he is 30 years old. He is also an aspiring underwear model, but just recently he was unfairly turned down because of his penchant for Cheetos and alcohol. Following your sophisticated example, Melvin and I are now engaged and live together under the supervision of my dad. Evidently, your tasteful relations with an older man have been a hugely beneficial influence on your devoted 10-year-old fans, like
me.
Finally, thanks to your extraordinary photography skills in your own bathroom, I have also begun to experiment with self-taken photos. While some dissenters claim that your amateur photographs were scandalously tasteless, I maintain that they were a brilliant display of artistic genius captured with your bedazzled cell phone camera. The way you lift your shirt up with your teeth or make kissy duck faces at the camera is so inspiring. I believe Annie Leibovitz could actually learn a thing or two about photography from you! But unlike Leibovitz’s photographs, your “selfies” were focused more on the often-neglected importance of the exposed stomach. Instead of glamorizing the face, I agree with your choice to use the stomach as a much more expressive and artistic focal point. You, being my absolute role model, have taught me the beauty of modest, midriff-exposing, amateur photos.
Miley, consider this my letter of sincere gratitude toward you for showing me the most modest and proper fashion for living my life. Don’t listen to those haters out there; they’re just jealous of your humble, modest behavior, your older boyfriends, and awe-inspiring beauty and artistic skills. In fact, I’m sure that deep inside, every human being, male or female, in this country, wants to be you. You are truly fabulous and flawless, Miley Cyrus, and I wholeheartedly endorse your innocent good-girl reputation.
Love,
Your biggest fan ever
Dear Miley Cyrus,
When I looked at the airbrushed cutout of you that is standing in my room just now, I was suddenly struck by a sense of awe and respect. Shockingly, several of my classmates have accused you of being a letdown role model compared to your early Hannah Montana days, but I wholeheartedly refute these arguments with undeniable proof of your suitable behavioral choices, mature romantic relationships, and artistic bathroom photography. You go girl! Keep on setting praiseworthy examples for your prepubescent fans!!!
Your judgment and manner of behavior are very commendable and show what a great role model you truly are. The fairly recent leaked video of you smoking salvia was inspiring, and since it is harder to obtain salvia than other drugs, I asked Melvin to grab me some cigarettes and I smoke a pack a day now. Another clear example of your beneficial influence on my actions is that I now am more famous among my classmates’ parents because I learned new dance moves from your pole-dancing act at the Teen Choice Awards. While I was at a birthday party, I gyrated my body in a pole dance, attracting the wide eyes of many a parent. Now I hear my name …show more content…
(accompanied by brief, shocked glances) come up in conversations between adults all the time! How wonderful! I now know exactly what it means to be famous thanks to following your exemplar behavior.
I had never really considered the concept of having a boyfriend much older than me until you started an admirable new relationship with Justin Gaston, an underwear model who is four years older than you.
Your completely appropriate and suitable choice to have Justin move in with you compelled me to find a considerably older boyfriend of my own. His name is Melvin, and he is 30 years old. He is also an aspiring underwear model, but just recently he was unfairly turned down because of his penchant for Cheetos and alcohol. Following your sophisticated example, Melvin and I are now engaged and live together under the supervision of my dad. Evidently, your tasteful relations with an older man have been a hugely beneficial influence on your devoted 10-year-old fans, like
me.
Finally, thanks to your extraordinary photography skills in your own bathroom, I have also begun to experiment with self-taken photos. While some dissenters claim that your amateur photographs were scandalously tasteless, I maintain that they were a brilliant display of artistic genius captured with your bedazzled cell phone camera. The way you lift your shirt up with your teeth or make kissy duck faces at the camera is so inspiring. I believe Annie Leibovitz could actually learn a thing or two about photography from you! But unlike Leibovitz’s photographs, your “selfies” were focused more on the often-neglected importance of the exposed stomach. Instead of glamorizing the face, I agree with your choice to use the stomach as a much more expressive and artistic focal point. You, being my absolute role model, have taught me the beauty of modest, midriff-exposing, amateur photos.
Miley, consider this my letter of sincere gratitude toward you for showing me the most modest and proper fashion for living my life. Don’t listen to those haters out there; they’re just jealous of your humble, modest behavior, your older boyfriends, and awe-inspiring beauty and artistic skills. In fact, I’m sure that deep inside, every human being, male or female, in this country, wants to be you. You are truly fabulous and flawless, Miley Cyrus, and I wholeheartedly endorse your innocent good-girl reputation.
Love,
Your biggest fan ever