Monologue From The Catcher In The Rye

It’s Almost been 2 years I then been in that goddam place. Im happy to be out there. All those damn psychoanalysis asking me questions like I’m crazy. I can’t believe I’m out that damn place finally. Boy I’m relieved. Now I have to think where the hell ima go. I called my mom to tell her that I’m coming home but she didn’t answer she still mad about what happen over 3,000 years ago, Of course when I took Phoebe from school and got us both caught in the rain. The hell would she care for when she didn’t give a goddman if Phoebe smoke a cig or not which she really didn’t but still. I called D.B to see if he could meet me halfway at the bar to get a drink and then once he got drunk I would have asked him to allow me to crash at his luxurious place
I said “D.B it’s Holden, I'm out now! Can you meet me at the bar and scoop me?” He said “ Cant’chu get a cab boy?” I said sarcastically “ Do I have prostitute money like you? I just got out and your mother aint answering. Now will’ya come scoop me for chrisstake? He said “ Yeah, I’ll come get you and only one drink you damn alcoholic, I have a meeting but I’ll be there around 6:00.” Boy was I worried that he might not come. I really was. But now I have some hours to kill before I had to meet up with old D.B. For some weird reason I thought about “where the ducks went when it was winter?” all over again, Well it was damn near a million degrees out at least the ducks didn’t have to worry about their home freezing. On my way to the bar I had too much time to think about how I said I would recover from drinking and thats what I should stick to. Boy I was depressed all over again
Boy was I happy is hell I missed her so much. She answered, “Holden is that you? Holden? Hello!?” I couldn’t even talk cause I had busted out in tears and realized how my bad habits had let not only Phoebe but my whole family down, including myself. I hung up and waited a while to call back. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a selfish person I was. My little brother Allie had passed away which caused a lot of grief then plus me and my foolishness on top of that. Boy, did I feel very stupid. I decided I’ll keep walking until I find a record store then go inside and look for ‘ Little Shirley Beans’ since I never got the chance to give it to Phoebe. On my way home I got a little sadder because I thought about how my mom was probably mad about my actions overall and not just because I took Phoebe from school. I arrived to the end of the block to my house and thought about what I should say to them all. I started to panic and I reached in my pocket for a cig so I could calm down, I swear. Boy I didn’t smoke in so long it felt good to get a puff. I know thats going to be the first thing my mom asked, not even a hello.