BRIEF SYNOPSIS:
JASON grew up in Chicago with his friends NIA, bully TERRY, and KEMP. Now Jason lives in Beverly Hills and is a successful executive. He’s single and uncommitted to any woman. He has a fling with an office worker, JANICE, but she knows Jason has no desire to have a real relationship.
Jason’s boss, Mr. RICE, needs Jason to close a deal in Chicago. Jason is resistant to returning to the place where he grew up. Jason’s mother, MRS. SHEPHERD, is hoping that Jason will be home for Christmas.
Jason’s …show more content…
Quickly establish his lavish lifestyle and that he’s a committed bachelor. If it’s a comedy, make the situations light-hearted. Show how his present day life clashes with his past.
Consider at the midpoint that his life changes when Nia shows up with her daughter, announcing they are staying. This is a clear midpoint reversal. Now his life is going to be completely changed. This will also clearly defined what the show is about. Waiting until the end for Nia to show up may not be the most effective structure.
Instead, in the second half of the show, highlight how his life changes with two women now living his home. His bachelor days and his inability to have a real relationship have been turned upside down. This will elevate the tension. Show how he has to alter his life style with Nia and Kylie living with him. He has to wear clothes at night. He can’t bring dates home. Maybe he decides they can’t live with him causing conflict and tension, but then something changes his …show more content…
tell or explain. For example, it’s not clear on page one that they were playing “ding dog ditch”. This has to be shown, not told. On page 2, there’s no way for the audience to know what Ms. Randel is thinking, “Because she knows Nia must have lost her damn mind…” There’s no way the audience can understand that Terry is kind of hurt and knows that Jason is right. There’s no way for the audience to understand that the employees have been fired several times on page 6. On page 13, there’s no way the audience can see, “After all these years you can tell things have definitely changed…” On page 23, the audience can’t “see” that Jason realizes it all makes sense. The audience can’t understand that Nia is afraid for him to hear her