My Addiction
My Addiction
Addiction is a physical or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, such as a drug or alcohol, or a habitual/compulsive involvement in an activity such as gambling. In physical addiction, the body adapts to the substance being used and gradually requires increased amounts to reproduce the effects originally produced by smaller doses (dictionary.com). The fear of becoming addicted to something is scary. Our society teaches moderation, everything in all areas, eating, working, playing, exercise. Moderation creates a balance in our lives. However, by it's very definition, an addiction becomes compulsitory, beyond our control; recreation becomes habit, habit becomes need. Throughout the last few years my "habit" has increased, starting out in small increments, and growing into an almost daily need. It is, ultimately, the reason why I did not go to college the year of my high school graduation. From time to time, due to reasons beyond my control, I can’t fulfill my addiction. It takes me over. It becomes the only thing I think of through out the day.
The feeling is almost too much to be described by words. When setting up, the feeling and thoughts that cross my mind almost scare me away from wanting to do it all. Sitting there getting strapped in, looking at what I’m about to overcome, thoughts pour through my head as I think to myself, "Am I really about to do this?" Looking back on everything leading up to that very moment before I drop, it all seems worth the rush. So I give in to the urge, I go for it.
Taking off feels almost like flying, it all happens so fast. This sudden rush and euphoric sense overcomes me for what feels like an eternity before I start falling away from it. Then I have to prepare myself for the sudden fall back to reality. Sometimes it’s too much to bear and I fall hard. Even when this happens, it takes only a few moments to regain myself, get back on my feet, and convince myself I’m ready for the next hit.
Addiction is a physical or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, such as a drug or alcohol, or a habitual/compulsive involvement in an activity such as gambling. In physical addiction, the body adapts to the substance being used and gradually requires increased amounts to reproduce the effects originally produced by smaller doses (dictionary.com). The fear of becoming addicted to something is scary. Our society teaches moderation, everything in all areas, eating, working, playing, exercise. Moderation creates a balance in our lives. However, by it's very definition, an addiction becomes compulsitory, beyond our control; recreation becomes habit, habit becomes need. Throughout the last few years my "habit" has increased, starting out in small increments, and growing into an almost daily need. It is, ultimately, the reason why I did not go to college the year of my high school graduation. From time to time, due to reasons beyond my control, I can’t fulfill my addiction. It takes me over. It becomes the only thing I think of through out the day.
The feeling is almost too much to be described by words. When setting up, the feeling and thoughts that cross my mind almost scare me away from wanting to do it all. Sitting there getting strapped in, looking at what I’m about to overcome, thoughts pour through my head as I think to myself, "Am I really about to do this?" Looking back on everything leading up to that very moment before I drop, it all seems worth the rush. So I give in to the urge, I go for it.
Taking off feels almost like flying, it all happens so fast. This sudden rush and euphoric sense overcomes me for what feels like an eternity before I start falling away from it. Then I have to prepare myself for the sudden fall back to reality. Sometimes it’s too much to bear and I fall hard. Even when this happens, it takes only a few moments to regain myself, get back on my feet, and convince myself I’m ready for the next hit.