My epic story

Due to personal failures and persistent nagging feeling that I shit in life , I decided it was time to change myself and decided to do yoga . Downloading from the Internet various allowances , revealing detail multilateral aspects of this amazing Indian teachings , with drawings, which have been shown asanas , postures , bestowing body strengthening , mental clarity and enlightenment of the soul, I enthusiastically set to work. For the three months studying this ancient science of Indian sages , I am far advanced, and achieved some progress towards attainment of the highest wisdom . I paid doing yoga all my spare time . Every evening I became in the asana " black monkey " on his head and threw his feet up on the wall. In this position, my phallus , despite the fact that at length it was only six inches, easily took out to my mouth , so I did not have to remove the lower ribs themselves , as did Marilyn Manson . Equally amazing was the result of the flexibility of application techniques I've a separate power supply for the system of Ayurveda, eating properly , as wise Indian yogis thousands of years ago , I lost twenty pounds . Getting up so that my cock reached my mouth , I entered into a state of Samadhi and meditated so , standing on his head , for hours . At the same time I sucked at itself , presenting , however, that I appease redhead language of " Viagra " and massaged himself svadhisthana chakra through the anus . Through the hour and a half of this ancient tantric practice enlightenment been descending on me , and I felt so good , as if I was in the monastery of Saint boddhisatv . But after a while the feeling of ease and bliss where it is volatilized and replaced by my usual feeling that I am a worthless shit , and not a sacred cow. And I wanted so much to this state of harmony last forever ! In addition, all benefits of yoga , I read , it was written that the student must be a guru - teacher, and that is impossible without a teacher present to grasp the