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My Handicap
Jingyi Li
I get a good lesson in my middle school. The attitude that I have formed at that time affect my whole life. I didn’t know how to face failure; I wanted to be on the top of all. But life is all about changing and challenging. We must know how to struggle from abysms. My 12th grade teacher has inspired me to do so. Today, I have enough encourage facing any problem.
I was a good student since elementary school. I was admired by other students. My family was proud of me. My mom always told my neighbors that I was the best one. I had a lot of friends. I always wanted to set a good example to my little sister and brother.
At the end of the last year of elementary school, we had a final exam to decide who can go to the honors course in middle school. They were just getting 50 students from all the elementary schools in the town. I was the 50th; it means I was the worst one at the class. I was upset of my “failure”. My mom didn’t encourage me to catch up; she compared me with my cohorts and chattered me all the time about my “failure”. Then I started my middle school with such circumstances: no support, no friends and behind of everyone in class. It was the first time I felt helpless and lonely. I felt abandoned by everyone including my family and teachers. I became self-closing. I did pay attention at school, read novel in class. I needed to focus in something else to let the time go fast. I learned nothing at school so my grade got worse than never. But I didn’t care because I was the 50th, no one could behind me.
After one semester, I felt superfluous in the world. I tried to kill myself. Because the longer time I stayed alone, the more intense feeling I had. It was so painful to survive in