My Racial Identity
I first realized my outward identity when I was in kindergarten. I went to a Disney Princess party dressed as Aurora, since I thought she was the prettiest princess. When I arrived, my two blonde-hair, blue-eyed best friends told me that I couldn’t be Aurora, and that I had to change to Pocahontas. Inwardly, I didn’t see myself as different. Being of mixed race, I never identified more of one than the other, and I always felt that I fit in perfectly with my peers and classmates. That changed when I realized that I was seen as a dark-skin, brown-eyed, and dark-haired girl; a Filipino. To the people I grew up with, I looked different. But because of the fact that I was also half white, I only experienced the social implications of being Filipino, and never the educational implications. Despite the occasional social setbacks of being biracial, the education system took to my race kindly, and I have been offered experiences and opportunities
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that have allowed me to further myself in society. I can personally say that I have been benefitted by white privilege. Peggy McIntosh describes white privilege as “an invisible package of unearned assets” that one receives just for being born a certain race (McIntosh 1992, p. 71). So since I was born half white, I naturally received some of these privileges. They include having at least one parent who did not struggle to receive higher education, who easily was hired at well-paying jobs, as well as the myriad of benefits I received by growing up with a father who received these benefits his entire life. My mother, on the other hand, grew up with different circumstances. She was born in the Philippines and after moving to the states, struggled through school where she was the only person of color. She attended college on a full scholarship and after her struggles, was able to create a successful life for herself and her family. She resembles the stereotypical first generation Asian-American. The most common perceptions of Asian-Americans, according to Teranishi, are that they are educationally successful, or a model minority (Teranishi 2002, p.144).
With these two aspects in my racial background, I have received benefits and setbacks from both sides. However, I feel that my racial background affects my social and emotional upbringing more than it has my education. Growing up mixed, I have learned the implications of each race. Because of my white racial background, I have received social benefits including the many mentioned in A Girl Like Me. Black teen girls spoke of how they do not feel they can live life as easily as White girls because of details in everyday things like makeup options and toy dolls which make it obvious to them that “blackness” is not the norm and that “whiteness” is. Growing up half white, I have found that my skin tone and physicality falls into the “whiteness” norm, and that I don’t lack access to everyday basic necessities. My race does not hinder my ability to function comfortably in society. My awareness of these privileges, when I know that half of my identity has progressed through many prejudices and hardships to be what it is considered now, makes it difficult to completely embrace that part of me. In the history of the United States, Asian-American’s were considered unassimilable and were completely separated from society. However, Asian-Americans propelled in society to the seemingly positive status of being the “model minority,” meaning that they are not quite as normal as the White majority, yet they are placed above other minorities. Because of this racial aspect, I am seen by my peers as more “exotic” and if anything, that is a positive.
Even though my mixed race affects me strongly socially, it also has had an impact on my education. Because of my white, upper-middle class upbringing, I lived in a good neighborhood and as a result, had access to a good public education. Because of my Filipino upbringing, I have benefitted from a common perspective of Asian-Americans. I grew up with very strong parental encouragement, involvement and support, mostly from my Filipino mother. Teranishi describes this perspective as also including students facing pressure from their parents to “take advantage of the educational opportunities offered in the U.S.” (Teranishi 2002, p. 145). Because of this aspect, I learned from a young age to not only pay attention and get good grades, but to talk to my teachers, ask questions, go above and beyond, reach out to my counselors, and participate in extracurricular activities. Because of the combination of attending good public schools and my approach to learning, I believe that I have truly benefited from the education system, and that my racial identity has only pushed the benefit further. However, I faced many difficulties at my schools, many of which involving how my teachers perceived me and what they expected of me. Similar to Geoffrey Canada’s experience of getting into his college, I often felt as if I was being used as a pawn in order to create diversity and “reshape the nation” by “seriously recruiting minority students,” (Canada 1999, p. 124). While I wasn’t treated this way during the college application process, I often felt that my counselors and administrators reached out to me or my minority friends more than they did to my white friends. After reading Canada’s experience, I realized that my experience in high school was similar in that the school was always trying to increase diversity of representation in clubs and classes. While this did not negatively affect me, it made me question whether or not I truly deserved some of the opportunities I received.
Regardless of my qualms in the treatment I received, I was never negatively affected by the education system because of my race.
I received a quality high school education and continued into a college education. I feel that my two intersecting races will never become just one racial identity for me. I prefer to view them as separate influences on the identity that I have. While my white background has allowed me to benefit from many white privileges, I had the outside Filipino aspect which benefited me by teaching me how to fully take advantage of the privileges and opportunities offered to me. It is difficult to understand why education affects people differently, but by evaluating one’s identity, it can be understood how their perceived identity can affect them socially, and how that in turn can affect their education. It is different for people with different identities, but personally, the different cultural and social aspects of my identity have given me the tools to benefit from the United States’ society and education
system.
that have allowed me to further myself in society. I can personally say that I have been benefitted by white privilege. Peggy McIntosh describes white privilege as “an invisible package of unearned assets” that one receives just for being born a certain race (McIntosh 1992, p. 71). So since I was born half white, I naturally received some of these privileges. They include having at least one parent who did not struggle to receive higher education, who easily was hired at well-paying jobs, as well as the myriad of benefits I received by growing up with a father who received these benefits his entire life. My mother, on the other hand, grew up with different circumstances. She was born in the Philippines and after moving to the states, struggled through school where she was the only person of color. She attended college on a full scholarship and after her struggles, was able to create a successful life for herself and her family. She resembles the stereotypical first generation Asian-American. The most common perceptions of Asian-Americans, according to Teranishi, are that they are educationally successful, or a model minority (Teranishi 2002, p.144).
With these two aspects in my racial background, I have received benefits and setbacks from both sides. However, I feel that my racial background affects my social and emotional upbringing more than it has my education. Growing up mixed, I have learned the implications of each race. Because of my white racial background, I have received social benefits including the many mentioned in A Girl Like Me. Black teen girls spoke of how they do not feel they can live life as easily as White girls because of details in everyday things like makeup options and toy dolls which make it obvious to them that “blackness” is not the norm and that “whiteness” is. Growing up half white, I have found that my skin tone and physicality falls into the “whiteness” norm, and that I don’t lack access to everyday basic necessities. My race does not hinder my ability to function comfortably in society. My awareness of these privileges, when I know that half of my identity has progressed through many prejudices and hardships to be what it is considered now, makes it difficult to completely embrace that part of me. In the history of the United States, Asian-American’s were considered unassimilable and were completely separated from society. However, Asian-Americans propelled in society to the seemingly positive status of being the “model minority,” meaning that they are not quite as normal as the White majority, yet they are placed above other minorities. Because of this racial aspect, I am seen by my peers as more “exotic” and if anything, that is a positive.
Even though my mixed race affects me strongly socially, it also has had an impact on my education. Because of my white, upper-middle class upbringing, I lived in a good neighborhood and as a result, had access to a good public education. Because of my Filipino upbringing, I have benefitted from a common perspective of Asian-Americans. I grew up with very strong parental encouragement, involvement and support, mostly from my Filipino mother. Teranishi describes this perspective as also including students facing pressure from their parents to “take advantage of the educational opportunities offered in the U.S.” (Teranishi 2002, p. 145). Because of this aspect, I learned from a young age to not only pay attention and get good grades, but to talk to my teachers, ask questions, go above and beyond, reach out to my counselors, and participate in extracurricular activities. Because of the combination of attending good public schools and my approach to learning, I believe that I have truly benefited from the education system, and that my racial identity has only pushed the benefit further. However, I faced many difficulties at my schools, many of which involving how my teachers perceived me and what they expected of me. Similar to Geoffrey Canada’s experience of getting into his college, I often felt as if I was being used as a pawn in order to create diversity and “reshape the nation” by “seriously recruiting minority students,” (Canada 1999, p. 124). While I wasn’t treated this way during the college application process, I often felt that my counselors and administrators reached out to me or my minority friends more than they did to my white friends. After reading Canada’s experience, I realized that my experience in high school was similar in that the school was always trying to increase diversity of representation in clubs and classes. While this did not negatively affect me, it made me question whether or not I truly deserved some of the opportunities I received.
Regardless of my qualms in the treatment I received, I was never negatively affected by the education system because of my race.
I received a quality high school education and continued into a college education. I feel that my two intersecting races will never become just one racial identity for me. I prefer to view them as separate influences on the identity that I have. While my white background has allowed me to benefit from many white privileges, I had the outside Filipino aspect which benefited me by teaching me how to fully take advantage of the privileges and opportunities offered to me. It is difficult to understand why education affects people differently, but by evaluating one’s identity, it can be understood how their perceived identity can affect them socially, and how that in turn can affect their education. It is different for people with different identities, but personally, the different cultural and social aspects of my identity have given me the tools to benefit from the United States’ society and education
system.